RockStarPeach

Title: The First Time
Pairing: Jensen/Misha
Rating: Adult
Summary: High school AU. Jensen experiences a lot of his first times with Misha. Most of the ones that really stand out are firsts for them both. Featuring blushing virgin!Jensen and crossdressing!Misha.
A/N: Prequel to a story I wrote a while back, Another Thing To Fall, where Jensen and Misha’s relationship is tested when Jensen meets Jared.
Word count: 19800
Warnings: drug use, slight underage (fic starts when Jensen is 15, Misha is 17, no penetrative sex until they’re both over 18), underage use of alcohol

Previous


The first time Jensen realises he’s in love, Misha’s not even there to share it with him.

It’s heading towards the middle of October and he’s only seen Misha once since he left for Columbus.

Jensen’s just finished football practice (he’s the starting halfback now, which means he spends a lot more time on the game than he did last year) and after he says goodbye to his friends on the team he meets Rob at Burger King, to grab some supper and study for their Economics test.

They don’t do as much studying as they do picking at their third order of fries and shooting the shit while Rob drools over the girl who works the cash. As usual. Jensen doesn’t mind. Rob’s a pretty cool guy, once you get past the fact that he’s one of the biggest nerds in school and he’s gotten to be a really good friend.

“So,” Rob says, dunking a fry into the mess of ketchup on his burger wrapper and stuffing it into his mouth. “Cindy’s pretty into you, dude.”

Jensen shrugs and tries not to watch as Rob talks with his mouth full. Cindy is in their grade, transferred in from across town and she’s already got half the guys at school panting after her. Not that Jensen can blame them. She’s hot as fuck.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess? Jensen, she goes to all your practices, sits with you at lunch. She’s turned down everyone who’s asked her out because she’s waiting for you to do it.”

“Yeah, well. I got a boyfriend. She’s gonna be waiting a while, if she’s waiting for me. She knows that. Everyone knows that.”

“You and Misha are staying together?” Rob asks, and Jensen raises an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t we?”

“I dunno, man. You could have your pick of girls here. And I think there are a couple gay guys in the drama club that are totally into you, too. You’re not tempted?”

“No,” Jensen answers without hesitation. It’s a lie. Of course he’s tempted, but not nearly enough to even consider it. He wants Misha, nobody else. That much he’s known since their first date, so that’s not the revelation. That comes next.

“And you’re not worried that he’s gonna find someone else? I hear college is full of hot bodies and drunken orgies. Are you sure he’s on the same page you are?”

“I’m sure,” Jensen answers and it’s then that he realises, he really is sure. Misha loves him. Misha loves him. And he loves Misha right back. They’re going to be together forever, there’s not a doubt in his mind.

He knows that now and it feels good.

When he gets home that night the first thing he does is call his boyfriend.

“Hey there, sexy,” Misha purrs into the phone, instead of a hello and Jensen’s tossing his backpack into the corner of his room and kicking out of his jeans as he grips the phone tight.

“I love you,” he blurts out and then holds his breath waiting for Misha’s response.

Misha’s quiet for several eternal seconds before he answers, “what took you so long?” and Jensen laughs as he falls onto his bed with his phone pressed to his cheek.

“I’m never letting you go, you know that, right?”

It’s Misha’s turn to laugh then, warm and soft down the line.

“I’m serious. This is a forever kind of thing, you and me.” Misha laughs louder and Jensen scowls and grits his teeth. “I mean it, jackass.”

“No,” Misha says. “I know you do. I got there a while ago. I love you too, Jensen.”

“Right.” Jensen coughs, suddenly not sure where to go from here. He hadn’t exactly thought it through when he picked up the phone a few seconds ago. “So, uh… phone sex?”

That’s a first for both of them, too, but it’s certainly not a last.

***

The first time Jensen gets jealous, really and truly jealous, beyond things like wishing he got the train set his best friend did for Christmas when they were seven or getting upset because his big brother got new jeans and Jensen got hand-me-downs when they were kids, is on a Friday afternoon, close to the end his junior year.

He hasn’t seen Misha in a few weeks and it’s the first time Jensen’s been out to Columbus all year. Jensen’s parents had said that he couldn’t take the car that far on his own until he’d had his license for a full year, so exactly two weeks and four days after his seventeenth birthday, Jensen ditches his afternoon classes and hops onto the I-90 to surprise his boyfriend.

Six hours later he parks in the south lot and gets out the map he sketched from the university website earlier. Misha’s building is easy to find. He ducks inside as someone else is leaving and he takes the elevator up to the seventh floor. He ends up going the wrong way down the circular hallway, so it takes him a few extra seconds, but eventually he finds himself standing outside door number 14.

Misha’s home, Jensen knows. Jensen wouldn’t drive all the way out here if there was a chance Misha was out with friends or at the library studying, so Jensen emailed him earlier and made a phone sex date for after supper.

Misha would never miss that, not in a million years. Jensen smiles when he thinks that instead of beautiful, dirty whispers to each other over the line, now they can do all those things in person. A shiver runs down his spine when he imagines Misha’s hands all over him, Misha’s body flush against his and Misha’s lips pressing, kissing, sucking.

He’s half hard by the time he lifts his hand to knock and just as he does he hears a distinctly female giggle coming from the other side of the door. He looks at the number again to make sure he’s got the right room and when he realises he does he figures she must be one of Misha’s friends.

He’s sort of embarrassingly excited to meet her, actually, if that’s the case. He’s heard about some of the people Misha has met here – Mike and Mark and Richard and Traci and a whole handful of others – and he wants to know them too. Wants to be part of Misha’s life here at school as well as at home and he wants Misha’s friends to like him.

Jensen’s planning on coming to school here next year after he graduates and it couldn’t hurt to already know some people, he figures.

He knocks. There are some muffled voices from the other side of the door, a bang or two and then the girl shouts “go away, we’re busy”. Jensen frowns and knocks again, harder this time, with more purpose.

There’s more laughter, this time definitely from Misha and it’s only a few more seconds before the door is opened about half way. By a girl. A very pretty girl, thin yet curvy with long, dark hair and a sly smile.

She’s also half naked, in a pair of hot pink short shorts and a short cropped black tank top that’s not doing a great job of hiding her rack. Which, objectively speaking, is a pretty great rack and Jensen sort of stares at it for a few seconds with his mouth hanging open. It’s not his fault – it’s right there.

The girl cocks her head to the side and her smiles turns knowing, like she’s pleased about where he’s looking.

“Can I help you?”

Jensen snaps his face up to hers and clears his throat, eyes slightly narrowed.

“Yeah, I’m uh… looking for Misha.”

“Jensen?” Misha says from somewhere inside. The door is yanked the rest of the way open and then Misha’s grabbing him by the arm and pulling him inside. He smiles wide, so wide it lights up his whole face and crinkles the corners of his eyes. He leans over and kisses Jensen, soft and brief but Misha’s eyes flutter shut and Jensen’s heart trips a little. “Shit, what are you doing here?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says, coughing and stepping back a bit, eyes darting to the girl briefly. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” His tone makes it very clear that he’s not sorry at all and Misha looks confused for a second before he turns his head to the girl, like he’s forgotten that she’s even there.

“Right, of course. Jensen, this is Rachel. She lives down the hall. She was just leaving.” He says the last part pointedly in Rachel’s direction

“So this is Jensen, huh?” Rachel asks, looking Jensen up and down in a way that makes him feel a little uncomfortable, like she wants to eat him alive and she’s trying to decide which wine goes best with ‘cute high school boy’. “He’s pretty. You’ve got good taste, I’ll give you that, Collins.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Jensen asks, scowling a little because this girl is just all kinds of rubbing him the wrong way. He wouldn’t normally be so rude, but Misha did say she was leaving and Jensen sort of really wants to get his hand down his boyfriend’s pants. Without an audience. Plus, she’s looking at Misha the same way she’s looking at Jensen and it gets Jensen’s hackles up a bit.

“Relax, kid,” she laughs. “I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend. Well, not permanently, anyway. I just want to borrow him for a while.”

His first instinct is to puff up his chest and loudly proclaim that he’s not a kid, but he figures that would probably be counterproductive. Instead his scowl hardens and his jaw ticks. He really doesn’t like this girl. Which makes him feel a little guilty, because he doesn’t even know her yet.

“And she’s failing, miserably,” Misha says, placing a calming hand on the crook of Jensen’s arm, like he’s afraid he might take a swing at her or something. Jensen’s never hit a girl before, never plans on it, but when he takes a deep breath and realises how tense he is, he’s grateful for Misha’s touch. “I’ll see you later, Rachel.”

“You still coming to Mark’s tonight?” she asks, still smiling as she trails a teasing finger down Misha’s chest and takes a step backwards, towards the door.

Misha darts a glance at Jensen and then looks back at Rachel.

“I really doubt it,” he says and Rachel rolls her eyes.

“Always such a slave to your prick, Collins,” she says, stepping out into the hall and shutting the door behind her.

The second they’re alone Misha’s got him pushed up against the cinderblock wall with one hand around the back of his neck and the other working its way over Jensen’s stomach and into the waistband of his pants.

“Seriously,” he mumbles against Jensen’s lips in between fevered kisses that Jensen can’t help but return even though he feels off, out of his skin and not entirely welcome. This isn’t anything like seeing Misha at home. This place is new, not his, something that’s always been Misha’s alone and he didn’t plan on his first experience here being some skank trying to get the two of them into a threesome or some fucked up shit. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d surprise you,” Jensen says when Misha finally backs up enough for both of them to catch their breath. “My folks said I could have the car for the weekend, fucking finally, and I wanted to see you. But if you had plans…”

He trails off, not quite knowing how to finish without accusing Misha of… fuck, he doesn’t even know. But they had plans tonight. Sure, they were plans to talk on the phone, but Misha agreed, so Misha should have been here, in his room, not at Mark’s place with Rachel.

“I told her maybe,” Misha says, leaning back in again and pressing his face against Jensen’s, voice a rumble in his ear. “I wasn’t going anywhere until I was done telling you all about how my mouth waters whenever I touch myself, how I wish it was your hand instead. How I want to taste you, how I suck on my fingers while I fist my cock.” His voice drops impossibly lower then and Jensen swallows, eyes slamming shut and dick getting hard so fast he gets dizzy when Misha says, “about the vibrator I bought a couple of weeks ago, and how it feels when I slide it inside.”

“Okay,” Jensen pants, shaking his head to try to lift the fog of arousal. He pushes Misha back slightly to get some much needed air. “I show up to find you in here with some hot chick with a huge hard on for you, and you were gonna ditch me to go hang out with her. I'm trying to be pissed, here. No fair distracting me like that, man.”

Misha tilts he head and his lips quirk up along with his eyebrow.

“You don’t need to be jealous,” he says and he sounds just amused enough to piss Jensen off all over again.

“I’m not…” Jensen starts and then heaves a frustrated sigh. “Okay, yeah, fine. But she seems pretty into you, Misha. And what the hell were you guys even doing in here, anyway?”

Misha’s smirk fades and his eyes turn unreadable, even for Jensen.

“I know you’re not accusing me of cheating on you,” he says.

Of course that’s what he says and of course he doesn’t get it. Because Misha never gets jealous. Never. Doesn’t even know how. Not even when Jensen and AJ got drunk on New Years and played strip poker until they passed out, naked and tangled up in the sheets on Misha’s bed.

Misha found them around one in the morning, snoring and drooling all over each other and when Misha cleared his throat and Jensen jolted awake, swearing that it wasn’t what it looked like, Misha had just smiled, kissed him on the forehead, tucked him back in and said “I know.”

So yeah, Jensen has no doubt that Misha cannot possibly relate to this… this fucked up feeling of ick that he’s dealing with right now. And, he knows Misha is right, because the very last thing he’s doing is accusing Misha of cheating. Jensen knows better.

“No, I’m… being an idiot,” Jensen tells him, offers a crooked smile. “But hey, maybe we should go out tonight. I haven’t met any of your friends yet. Don’t you want to introduce me? Show me off?”

Misha’s grin is back and he’s pulling Jensen by the hand until they’re both sitting on his bed. Jensen looks around for the first time and notices that the room looks pretty much exactly the same as it did in the pictures Misha emailed him the first week he was here. The only differences are a few new notes and pictures pinned to the cork board, a few extra books on the shelves and a bigger pile of dirty laundry.

“You don’t need to stake your claim, Jensen,” Misha tells him. “Rachel’s a little aggressive, but I promise I can handle it.”

“Yeah,” Jensen sighs. “Yeah, I know. Still, could be fun.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Sunday afternoon. I need to have the car back by six.”

“Yeah, okay,” Misha agrees. “We’ll go to Mark and Richard’s tonight. But tomorrow night I’m not letting you out of this bed.”

“Deal,” Jensen smiles. When he leans over and pins Misha down underneath him, he starts to feel truly good for the first time since he left school today.

Later Jensen finds out that he was wrong; hanging with Misha’s friends is not fun.

Oh, Mark and Richard turn out to be pretty cool guys and they share a pretty decent three bedroom apartment with a fourth year who never comes out of his room. They’re looking for a new roommate for next year and Misha’s already decided that he’ll probably be it. So that part isn’t so bad.

But it’s loud, there are drunk people everywhere and it kind of feels like every party Jensen goes to back home. Including the fact that Misha is nowhere to be found, which considering Jensen drove six hours to get here, kind of sucks.

They arrived together, shared a beer and a few kisses out on the balcony before Misha was dragged off by some big guy in a football jersey (just his type, Jensen thinks bitterly) and Jensen was cornered by a handful of drunken guys with a deck of cards and a fresh case of beer.

An hour and six hands of poker later Jensen is glaringly sober and up about seventy-five bucks. He’s really starting to like college boys, and not just for the hot factor of having an older, more worldly boyfriend, but he’s also starting to wonder where the hell Misha has gotten off to.

He excuses himself from the game and wanders through the small apartment, nods and smiles at a few people, asks if anybody has seen his boyfriend until someone waves a hand in the direction of Richard’s bedroom.

When Jensen gets there he blinks so that his eyes can adjust to the dimmer light and haze of smoke, then the half dozen people in the room start to come into focus. He sees Richard, sitting at his desk chair with a bong in his lap, staring at the ceiling with a satisfied smile. He sees some other people he doesn’t recognise, one on top of Richard’s desk, face up with his head hanging off the end and his knees bent with his feet planted on the solid surface. He thinks that guy is asleep. Either that or dead, so he’s hoping for asleep.

A few more are on the floor, one of them laughing along with a girl lying face down over the foot of Richard’s bed.

And then he sees Misha. On Richard’s bed as well, on his back and propped up against the headboard. With Rachel straddling his lap, leaning over him with her hands on his shoulders and head tilted slightly. And they’re… kissing? Oh, fuck no.

“What the hell?!” Jensen growls and they break apart slowly, turning to face Jensen with a trail of smoke puffing up from both their mouths.

“Hey, stud,” Rachel drawls from between curled lips. She slides one hand to the back of Misha’s neck and arches her back, sticking her tits out as she holds her hand out to Jensen. Ash drops down from a sliver of white and it's only then that Jensen realises they were sharing a hit, not making out. “Want some?”

“What I want,” Jensen says, jaw snapped tight and hands clenched at his sides, “is for you to get the fuck off my boyfriend.”

“Jensen,” Misha barks out, voice low and every bit and angry as Jensen’s. He grabs Rachel’s hips and lifts her off his lap before he swings his legs around and stands up, walking closer. “Lower your voice.”

“No,” Jensen says, shaking his head. “You know what? Fuck you.”

He turns and starts to make his way down the hall and towards the front door, nearly shaking with anger and adrenaline. He knows. Deep down, he knows it was completely innocent, that Misha would never. But he saw what he saw, twice today, and his mind sometimes runs away on him. Makes decisions and twists things around.

And Misha’s going way too far, especially after what happened earlier. Misha might be cool with Jensen sleeping naked with and dry humping his friends, but he knows that Jensen’s a little more reserved when it comes to things like that.

“Jensen,” Misha says, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder when he gets to the door. “Wait.”

“Why should I?” Jensen snaps, spinning around. “You seemed like you were having a pretty good time without me.”

“Jensen,” Misha tries again, resigned almost, shoulders slumped and sad. “Come on. This isn’t the time or place for this conversation. Besides, it was nothing. You know that.”

“Yeah. I wonder though. What’ll it be next time, when I’m not here and she’s straddling you with her tongue down your throat?”

“I will never want anyone but you,” Misha tells him. “For the rest of my life. Don’t make this a big deal, because it isn’t.”

“Yeah, never,” Jensen snorts. “Except for when you’re getting ridden by a pretty girl with a joint and a nice set of tits.”

Misha’s eyes turn hard then, so hard that Jensen loses some of his own anger and he takes a half step back.

“Don’t talk about her, or any other girl, like that’s all she is,” he tells him.

“Well don’t…” Jensen starts, growls in frustration and cuts himself off. He didn’t. Didn’t mean to, anyway, because of course he doesn’t think of girls like that. But Rachel has been pretty open about her sexuality and she’s definitely been using her assets, or trying to anyway, to get into Misha’s pants. “Don’t look at her like she is.”

“I couldn’t even if I wasn’t completely in love with you,” Misha says. “Tits don’t do anything for me. Rachel doesn’t do anything for me. I’m gay.”

“Yeah well… fucking act like it!” Jensen screams and Misha looks at him like he’s crazy. Jensen can’t blame him – he has no idea what the hell he’s talking about anymore. This whole conversation has completely gotten away from him. He just knows that he’s angry and jealous and he’s making a huge ass of himself and he needs to get the hell out of there.

He runs, down the hall and down twelve flights of stairs, down the street and across the field and through rows and rows of cars in the parking lot. By the time he gets to his car, he’s crying. Crying over a boy. Put that on the list of firsts, too.

They don’t talk for three weeks after that, not until school is out for Misha and he’s moved out of the dorm, headed back to Cicero. His first stop is Jensen’s school (Jensen’s still got three weeks left until summer vacation) and Jensen sees him parked on the road out front, car still full to bursting with all his shit while he leans up against the side, one leg bent so his foot rests on the passenger door panel.

Jensen stops, lets Cindy ramble on a little more about their latest chemistry assignment before he agrees to meet her after practice on Friday to get it started. He bends down and presses his customary kiss to the top her head, absently this time but she doesn’t seem to notice as she covers his hand with one of hers. Drapes her fingers over it and winks at him before turning and heading off to catch up with her friends.

She never did learn to take a hint, but that’s okay. It’s harmless flirting, she knows Jensen isn’t interested and Jensen flirts back most of the time because it’s fun. It makes him feel good and it makes her feel good and it doesn’t mean he loves Misha any less and… he’s an idiot.

He starts walking, doesn’t even care about the people he brushes past on his way, steps on one kid’s open math book and doesn’t even notice when he gets in the middle of a few of his friends tossing a football around. All he can see is Misha and when he gets to him he just stands there for a few seconds, tries to figure out the perfect thing to say.

The thing that will make Misha love him again and let them go back to the way they were before Jensen freaked out for absolutely no reason and made a complete fool out of them both in front of all Misha’s friends.

“So how about I don’t come visit you at school anymore?” is what he finally says, the words coming out a little cracked, broken as he tugs the string on his backpack.

“How about you do?” Misha answers, pulling his hand away from the fidgeting, holds his fingers still.

“I’m really sorry. I was a dick and you must hate me. Fuck, all your friends must hate me.”

“I don’t. They don’t,” Misha smiles. “Rachel is a good friend, but you’re not the only one who thinks she sometimes takes things too far. I should have been more aware.”

“So… we’re good?” Jensen asks, coughing a little and looking down at the hood of Misha’s Pontiac. It’s a little more beat up that the last time he saw it and he wonders if Misha’s been letting Richard drive it.

“Yes, please,” Misha says, breathes the words out into Jensen’s mouth as he pulls him closer and Jensen opens up under him, lets his tongue inside and kisses him back, hard.

“Thank you,” Jensen gasps, when he pulls back to take a breath. “Fuck, thank you.” He dives back in then, keeps on kissing Misha as his classmates walk by, whistle at them, catcall and tell them to get a room. He doesn’t care. He’s just happy to have Misha back. Back in Cicero at least for a few months, and back with him.

“Get in the car,” Misha mumbles into his mouth and Jensen manages to break off the kiss because the car sounds like a good place to be. He slips forward and gets into the passenger seat as he watches Misha go around to the driver’s side.

“Your place or mine?” Jensen asks with a slight smile, fastening his seatbelt.

“Mine,” Misha tells him, eyes focused intently on Jensen’s. “My parents aren’t home and I haven’t even jerked off since the last time I saw you. That’s way too long. I’m going to take you home, bring you up to my room and suck your dick ‘til you scream. I might even hump your leg and get your pants all dirty.”

Jensen just stares at Misha for a beat, blinks and swallows, tries to take in a normal breath but it’s too heavy and he ends up lightheaded.

“Jesus fuck,” he says. “Do you uh… Do you really have a vibrator?”

“If you’re lucky, I might even show you.”

Jensen thinks he might actually pass out because holy fuck.

“What happened to you while you were off at college?”

Misha’s expression softens then and he reaches across the seats to take Jensen’s hand. He squeezes it once before he lets it go and starts the car.

“I missed you,” Misha finally answers as he pulls out into traffic, and Jensen thinks he knows exactly how Misha feels.

***

The first time Jensen goes all the way is a Saturday night in late April and he’s been eighteen for almost two months.

He’s visiting Misha at school, spending the weekend at the apartment he shares with Mark and Richard, and the more time Jensen spends with them, the more he realises that they’re kind of dicks. Well, okay, they’re not. Not really. They’re nice guys and Jensen has gotten to know them pretty well over the past couple of years but they’re sort of disturbingly interested in Misha’s sex life.

They seem to think the fact that Misha is almost twenty years old and he’s still a virgin is both extremely sad and extremely hilarious and they have a knack for bringing it up on a pretty fucking regular basis.

They’re not cruel about it, not really, and even though Jensen thinks some of their jokes are in bad taste (mostly because he’s the one being made fun of for being such a prude) he tries not to let it bother him. Misha just snorts and shakes his head when Mark pats him on the back mockingly and says “There, there. I’m sure you’ll lose it by the time you hit fifty.”

He just purses his lips and nods, says he likes emeralds when Richard faux-whispers to Jensen that maybe Misha needs a ring before he puts out and Richard knows a guy who can get him a good price, if he’s interested.

“Never gonna happen,” he says, when they joke that Jensen is going to get tired of waiting and find someone who’s easy instead. And he’s right. Even if it was Misha holding out on taking that final step instead of Jensen, Jensen would never in a million years leave him and he knows the feeling is very mutual.

It’s not until tonight though, when Jensen gets back from the washroom to overhear the end of a conversation he clearly wasn’t supposed to hear, that Misha gets angry.

“They have to be flexible,” Richard is saying as Jensen opens the bathroom door and heads down the hall to the living room. “But I’m telling you, if you can pull it off, it’s fucking amazing.”

“Totally,” Jensen hears Mark agree. “I tried it was Cynthia last week and dude. Holy fuck. You should try it sometime. For real.”

“Yeah,” Richard snorts. “If he can ever pry Jensen’s legs apart, I’m sure he’ll get right on that. Seriously, how long are you gonna wait this guy out? Does he have, like, chocolate flavoured come, or something? Because you’ve put in more than enough time, my friend.”

And that, of course, is exactly when Jensen rounds the corner and stops, while all three of the other guys look up at him. Richard’s mouth snaps shut and Misha turns to look at him and narrows his eyes.

“You’re an asshole, Richard,” he says as he stands, shooting his roommate a glare as he crosses the living room to stop in front of Jensen. He smiles softly at him and presses a kiss to his lips but Jensen is sort of frozen and doesn’t respond. He feels like an idiot. Richard’s right, is the thing. He knows Misha wants sex. He’s been ready for a while now but he’s been waiting patiently, never once pressured Jensen and Jensen has no doubt that he’d wait forever if that’s what Jensen wanted.

They’re intimate in a lot of other ways, Misha says, and he never has any complaints about their sex life. They do pretty much everything else, and they’re both more than satisfied.

“Let’s head to bed,” Misha murmurs against his mouth and places a hand on the small of Jensen’s back to steer him towards his bedroom.

He ignores Richard’s call of “Misha” as they walk, even ignores him when he says “Fuck, Jensen, I’m sorry.” Jensen looks back though and offers Richard a strained smile before he follows Misha into his room and closes the door behind them.

“Richard’s an asshole,” Misha says again, as his arms slide around Jensen’s waist and he noses the crook of Jensen’s neck.

“No he’s not,” Jensen says. “He’s just fucking around. And he’s right; it’s a little weird that we haven’t done it yet.”

“It’s not,” Misha tells him, pulls back so he can look at Jensen’s face. “You know I don’t care about that, right? I’m happy with things exactly as they are.”

Jensen smiles and leans forward to kiss Misha again. “I know.” He does know, but he’d be lying if he said that he hasn’t been thinking about taking it further. He wants to, has for a while but every time they’ve fucked around recently they’ve gotten off with hands or mouths or rubbing up against each other before Jensen could make his move.

Tonight though, seems like it might be his chance, now that they’re already talking about it and all.

“Bed?” he suggests and he can feel Misha’s heart beat harder against his chest, hear the hitch in his breath as he lets Jensen walk him backwards.

Jensen kisses him slowly, works his lips over Misha’s neck and his jaw, stops to slide his shirt up over his head and then trails his mouth down Misha’s bare chest. He swirls his tongue over the dip of Misha’s stomach, into his bellybutton as he works his pants open and down.

Misha’s panting and writhing under him by the time he’s mouthed his way down Misha’s right leg and up his left and he lets out a completely adorable squeak when Jensen bites down hard on a hipbone.

“What about you?” Misha asks him breathlessly. Jensen smiles down at him and he sits back to quickly strip himself. He’ll never get tired of looking at Misha like this, naked and spread out and needy. He’s perfect. Fucking perfect and sometimes Jensen can’t believe he’s this lucky. Can’t believe that Misha is his.

As soon as he’s naked he gets back on the bed and settles himself between Misha’s legs, wraps his fingers around Misha’s cock and he groans when he feels it jump in his hand and hears Misha suck in a sharp breath.

“Fuck,” Misha breathes out, bucks up into Jensen’s fist as Jensen starts to stroke faster. “Jensen, yes. Don’t stop.”

And Jensen would normally never stop, not when Misha asks him like that, not when he can feel every touch mirrored in his own cock when he rocks it up against the inside of Misha’s thigh. But this time he wants more.

So he stops. He takes a deep breath, summons his nerve and lets his hand slip, palm cupping Misha’s balls while the tip of his middle finger slides into Misha’s crack. He’s a little nervous, because they’ve never done this before, but he knows Misha has a vibrator that he uses on himself when he masturbates so he’s pretty sure Misha won’t mind.

“Do uh… do you have any condoms?” he asks, licking over Misha’s collar bone.

“No,” Misha says, face scrunched up, confused. “Why would I…” And then his eyes go wide as Jensen’s finger becomes more insistent and his hands still on Jensen’s sides, clenching tightly. “Seriously?”

Jensen smiles and ducks his head to hide his blush. It’s stupid he knows, since Misha knows it’s there anyway. “Yeah. I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s okay, but…”

“No,” Misha cuts him off, so quickly Jensen actually laughs. “No, I want to. Jesus, Jensen, I’ve been wanting to for a couple of years now, but. But you don’t have to do this just because my friends don’t know when to shut up.”

“No,” Jensen agrees. “I don’t. But I do have to do it because you drive me so fucking crazy that I might actually burst if we wait any longer. Plus,” he adds, leaning forward to nuzzle behind Misha’s ear to hide his smirk. “I’m graduating in a couple of months, and what kind of loser goes off to college a virgin?”

Misha throws his head back and laughs at that, kicks his leg forward and twists his body to spin them around and pin Jensen down on the mattress underneath him.

“I love you,” he tells Jensen, leans down to suck Jensen’s lower lip into his mouth, bites down on it gently before he lets go. “I don’t have condoms though. I really didn’t expect this. I can ask Richard, I guess, but…”

“No,” Jensen cuts him off, sliding his hand over Misha’s hip to cup his ass. “Fuck, no. I’m okay without. If you are.”

Misha blinks down at him and then a lazy smile spreads over his face as he reaches into the bedside table for the lube he keeps there.

“I love you,” he says again as he takes one of Jensen’s hands and holds it palm up, tips the bottle and pours some of the slick over Jensen’s fingers. “I’m good without. More than.”

“Shit,” Jensen curses when Misha leans forward, arches his back so his ass is sticking out and guides Jensen’s hand between his legs. Jensen’s slick fingers slide between Misha’s cheeks and Misha spread his legs wider, feet pressed lightly to the outsides of Jensen’s legs.

“Mmmm,” Misha moans in approval when Jensen’s fingers start to move back and forth over his hole, each tip sliding just barely in with every pass. Jensen’s not sure exactly what to do here – he’s never even done this to himself and he doesn’t want to hurt Misha – but he wants pretty much nothing at this point more than he wants to stuff his whole fucking hand inside his boyfriend.

It’s not his fault. Misha’s so tight and warm and all Jensen can think about is what he’s going to feel like around him. Around his fingers, around his cock. So, he pushes in a little more.

Three different fingers he works with, one at a time and Misha makes soft, encouraging noises from above him, starts out sucking a deep bruise into Jensen’s neck. But by the time Jensen’s worked up to getting two fingers inside Misha at once, Misha’s mostly just panting and breathing wetly against the hollow of his throat.

“Yes,” Misha gasps. “Jensen, yes. More.”

Jensen licks his lips and carefully, oh so carefully he slides the third finger inside. Misha is so tight, soft and warm and wet and Jensen pushes as much as he can, stills when Misha tenses above him.

“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. Fuck, did I hurt you?”

Misha doesn’t answer, just places a hand on Jensen’s chest and uses it to push himself back so that he’s sitting upright straddling Jensen. He looks down at Jensen with hooded eyes, slowly starts to raise and lower his hips so that he’s fucking himself on Jensen’s fingers and Jensen groans, closes his eyes tightly and slams his head back against the pillow.

Misha’s at it for a good five minutes and Jensen’s managed to force his eyes open to watch, take it all in as Misha moves his hips, as his breath catches and his eyes flutter when Jensen brushes his prostate. Jensen has no first hand experience with that kind of thing, but he’s read some stuff, so he figures that’s what it must be.

It’s so fucking beautiful that it’s almost too much.

“Not fair, baby,” he tells Misha as his cock twitches and dribbles pre-come against his own stomach. “Gonna come before we even get to the main event if you keep being so hot.”

Misha pauses then, eases forward so that Jensen’s fingers slip free and he reaches down to take Jensen’s cock in his hand. He angles it back, presses the head to his loosened hole and moves a hand forward to cup Jensen’s cheek.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispers, leaving that final step up to Jensen.

And Jensen is going to grab that step by the balls and fucking take it.

He rolls suddenly to put Misha underneath him again, uses his momentary shock to flip him onto his belly and pull him up so his knees are bent and Jensen is behind him. Misha freezes for a split second but then relaxes, closes his eyes and rests his head on the pillow, angles his hips back toward Jensen.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Misha says again and Jensen places the head of his cock against Misha’s pucker, just rests it there as he leans forward and covers Misha’s back with his front.

“I love you,” Jensen whispers into Misha’s ear, licks the curve and then bites the lobe. “I love you so fucking much.” This is more than just getting off, this is Jensen losing his virginity, Misha doing the same. This is the next logical step, long overdue.

Jensen’s known for a damn long time that Misha is it for him, that they’ll be together forever and he needs for Misha to know the same thing. Needs to fuck him just right, so he knows the same thing.

Misha’s hand crosses his chest, grasps Jensen’s shoulder where it’s resting over Misha’s and he opens his eyes and smiles.

“From the second I saw you,” Misha tells him, pushing his hips back so the head of Jensen’s cock just barely slips inside and they both gasp. “I knew.”

He doesn’t tell Jensen what he knew, but Jensen thinks he gets it anyway.

Misha comes first, hard and dirty and screaming out underneath Jensen. Jensen follows soon after, vision blurring as he falls forward and squashes Misha to the bed underneath him.

“Oh my God,” Jensen manages, in between shaky breaths. “How the fuck did I wait so long for that?”

Misha doesn’t answer, just turns so Jensen pulls out, falls to the side and wraps a lazy arm around Misha.

“So…” Jensen hesitantly offers, not sure why he feels different. Nothing’s different, not really.

“So much for that safe sex talk your parents gave us a couple of years ago,” Misha says and Jensen can’t help but laugh.

“I’d say waiting until we’ve been together for almost three years and never being with anyone else is pretty damn safe,” Jensen counters.

“Yeah,” Misha agrees, rolls away from Jensen only enough to put himself flat on his stomach. He locks his eyes on Jensen’s as he raises his hips, wiggles them slightly and says, “let’s be safe some more.”

Jensen can’t help but oblige.

***

The first time Jensen proposes marriage is on Misha’s twenty-first birthday, and Misha responds by laughing at him and handing him another beer. They hadn’t bothered to move home for the summer, now that they’re together full time and they share the master bedroom, the room that Misha’s been in since the start of his second year.

Sure, he’s plastered and Misha has just very successfully sucked his brain out through his cock, but that doesn’t mean he’s not completely serious.

“No, I mean it,” Jensen says, squinting his eyes so that the two images of Misha become one. When that fails, he just decides to focus on the one on the right. That always works. “Let’s get hitched. I mean, we already live together,” he reasons, “and you love the fuck out of me, man. You’re never going anywhere, so we might as well make it official. Get, like, tax breaks and health benefits and shit. Right?”

“Well, we’d need jobs that earn us enough money for the tax breaks to matter and we’d need for those jobs to offer medical coverage, but you do make it sound very romantic,” Misha tells him and Jensen frowns because he gets the distinct impression Misha is fucking with him.

He can’t be sure though, since he only heard about half of what Misha just said, so he lets it go.

“Whatever. So is that a yes?”

“I think we might be missed,” Misha says, cocking his head towards their closed bedroom door, and the party going on in the rest of the apartment.

Jensen sighs and rolls his eyes. “I didn’t mean right now, jackass. We’ll… you know. Take some time to plan or whatever. Do it in the fall and order a cake. Coconut, or maybe pumpkin. Fuck, I’m hungry. Wanna get some pizza?”

Misha laughs and tucks Jensen’s softened dick back in his pants before he climbs up the bed and kisses him.

“Pizza as a wedding cake has potential. I like the way you think, Ackles.”

“No, I meant pizza now, wedding later. Wait, maybe you shouldn’t be eating pizza. Don’t you want to slim down so you look good in your dress?”

“Are you calling me fat?” Misha asks and Jensen curses and sits up and puts his beer down on the table next to the bed, takes Misha’s face between his hands and kisses him. Well, he tries to kiss him. He’s not so coordinated though, so mostly he just slobbers all over his lips.

“You’re perfect,” he says. “Don’t think you have to change anything about yourself for me, because I love you exactly as you are. And you’re hot as fuck, sure, but I love you for what’s inside. I promise.” It’s important Misha knows that. He loves him more than he can ever imagine loving anything and he’s sure Misha’s going to look perfect in his dress, no matter what.

“That’s good to know,” Misha tells him and Jensen’s heart sort of flips over when Misha’s smile reaches his eyes. Fuck, he’s gorgeous.

Jensen sighs in relief and adjusts himself on the bed, slouching down so that he’s almost horizontal.

“I think you’ll look good in white.” Jensen closes his eyes and wraps his arm around Misha, pulling him in closer. Whoever invented snuggling was a fucking genius. “All pretty and pure and innocent.”

“I am all those things,” Misha agrees easily.

Jensen nods decisively, and tugs Misha tighter, presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“And don’t worry,” he says gravely, seriously. “I won’t tell anyone you beg for my cock every night like a ten dollar whore.” He figures it’s really important people don’t know that, because then Misha might have to wear pink or something and pink is so not his colour.

Misha laughs at that, throws his head back and lets out a deep belly laugh and Jensen pouts, because he thought that was pretty damn considerate of him. Misha shouldn’t be laughing at him, he should be thanking him.

“Baby, I really wish I had a tape recorder right now, because there’s a chance you won’t actually believe me when I tell you about this tomorrow.”

“Fine, whatever,” Jensen scowls. “If you really want to wear pink, that’s up to you. But you’re gonna look like a fuckin’ idiot.” Jensen rolls over, faces away from Misha and lets his face fall into the pillow.

“Okay, champ,” Misha says, low and quiet and right into Jensen’s ear. It makes him shiver, makes him warm and happy and sleepy. “Time for bed.”

Jensen’s already in bed, but before he can point that out Misha’s hands are on him, stripping him out of his pants and his shirt and then he’s curling up behind him and pulling up the covers. Misha’s arm curls around his middle and Jensen promptly falls asleep, Misha’s whispered “I love you” following into his dreams.

***

The first time Jensen lays eyes on someone that gives him that same down-low tingle that Misha does, that same light in his heart and that same need driving through his veins, he ignores it.

Because it’s nothing.

Because him and Misha are forever and cute, young freshman with bodies to die for and smiles even worse don’t mean a thing.

He hopes.

He really, really hopes.

The first time Jensen thinks he’s wrong about that, he doesn’t tell Misha. What would be the point? Nothing has happened and nothing ever will, no matter how much Jensen might have to pretend he doesn’t want it.

Right?

END

Sequel HERE