RockStarPeach

Title:  Through the Rift

Fandom:  Angel/Torchwood/SPN

Characters/Pairings:  Spike/Ianto, Dean/Sam, references to Jack/Ianto, Jack/John, Spike/Angel, Owen/Tosh, Gwen/Rhys.  With super extra special bonus appearance by Cas.

Rating:  Light R, I’d say, for language and non-graphic sex.

Word count:  5,300

Summary:  The rift is acting up.  Spike ends up at Torchwood.  So do Dean and Sam.  Crack ensues.  Cas saves the day.  This is just meant as a bit of goofy fun.  Everybody is more or less a parody of themselves, so don’t take it too seriously! 

A/N:  Written for my darling edenskye, as a mod challenge over at nekid_spike, who asked for Spike meeting the Torchwood gang, and he wouldn’t mind if the wincest – sorry Winchesters – showed up.

***

 

“Ugh, leave off, Angel,” Spike grumbled, and batted away the hand that was trailing soft fingers across his forehead and down his face.  “It can’t be morning already, and you can kiss my ass if you think you’re havin’ another go now.  ‘M still sore from last time.  Besides, ‘m feelin’ a bit peckish, and we’re not goin’ again until you get me some Weetabix.”

 

“Is that all it takes?” A deep, playful voice asked him.  A voice that most certainly did not belong to Angel, and Spike’s eyes shot open, and he jerked back.  “For a handsome thing like you, that can be arranged.  Though I have to say, you’re a cheap date.” 

 

Spike sat bolt upright in the bed, not Angel’s bed, he was suddenly very aware, and not in Angel’s room.  He pulled the thin sheet up to cover as much of his very naked body as he possibly could, but it was tucked tight into the bottom corners of the bed, stupid military style bed-making, and it barely made it around his hips. 

 

“Where the bloody hell am I?” he demanded, scowling at the smiling face of the man sitting on the edge of the very tiny bed, in the very tiny room.  Not bad looking, Spike thought, and since the man was shirtless Spike could see he had a pretty decent body, too.

 

Not that Spike was even thinking about having sex with him.  He didn’t even know who the guy was.  For all Spike knew, despite the lazy grin and kind face, he could be part of some Evil Incorporated master plan to bring on the end of the world.  Still, Spike was always one to appreciate a nice view…

 

“And who the bloody hell are you?!” he snapped, slightly embarrassed when he realised that his gaze had been trailing down the man’s bare chest.

 

“Captain Jack Harkness,” Jack told him, smiling broadly and sticking out his hand for the man to shake.  He ignored it, looked at Jack like he had two heads, and Jack just shrugged, and pulled his hand back.  He looked steadily at the blond, and thought, not for the first time in the last ten minutes, since he’d shown out of nowhere, and ended up in his bed, how very much he looked like… like someone Jack wasn’t thinking about.  Not anymore.

 

Jack had panicked at first, actually gotten up out of bed, gotten dressed and gotten his gun, but it didn’t take more than a cursory once over to realise that he wasn’t who Jack had initially thought he was.

 

It was actually creepy, the resemblance, but hey, Jack dealt with a lot of creepy in his line of work.

 

He didn’t have the same scars, didn’t have any scars, except the one right over his eyebrow.  He was in better shape, not to say that John had exactly let himself go lately, but he was getting older, and this man in his bed had a quality about him, a strange sense of eternal youth, much like Jack himself, and he had a quiet strength, a barely concealed danger.

 

He’d been cold when Jack touched his forehead, which made sense considering he was naked, and he was so damn sexy looking that it had almost pained Jack to cover him up with even his flimsy sheet.

 

Whoever this ‘Angel’ was that he’d apparently been with before he’d shown up here, was one lucky guy.

 

“Hey, Jack,” Ianto’s voice sounded from upstairs, even as Jack saw his feet emerge from above, climbing down the ladder to his tomb of a bedroom.  “You down here?  Tosh wants to talk to you.  Something about a spike in rift activity.  She says…”

 

Ianto trailed off when he’d reached the floor, head tilted suspiciously at Jack, and the naked man on his bed.  “Oh.  Hello,” he said, even polite.  Jack smiled, because Ianto could walk in on Jack sleeping with his sister, while sacrificing a puppy to pagan gods, and Ianto would still be polite.

 

“Jack?” he asked, looking for an explanation.

 

Jack’s smile broadened, and he stood, took a few steps toward his lover.  “Relax Ianto,” he said, and draped a lazy arm around his shoulders.  “It’s not what it looks like.”

 

“Yeah,” the man on the bed mumbled, and leaned forward a few inches, so that his face was visible in the strip of light coming in from upstairs.  “Though in his defence, it’s not for lack of trying.”

 

“Jack,” Ianto gasped, and went stiff at his side, eyes wide and staring at the bed.  “Is that..?”  Jack’s arm tightened around him, firm and reassuring, and his hand cupped the side of Ianto’s head.

 

“No.  Looks like him though, doesn’t it?  But no.  I don’t know who he is.  Just showed up here a few minutes ago.”

 

Ianto sighed, and shrugged out of Jack’s half-embrace.  Jack could tell he wasn’t upset though, not beyond the initial shock of seeing a naked man in his boyfriend’s bed, anyway.  Pretty soon, Ianto would start to loosen up, Jack hoped, not be so uptight about the whole monogamy thing.  And then maybe they could start to have some real fun.  “Rift?” he asked.

 

“Looks like.”

 

“Right.  Let’s bring him upstairs.  Let Tosh take a look at him.  I’ll call Owen to give him the once over.”

 

“Hey now!” Spike protested.  “I don’t need anyone giving me any kind of ‘once over’, thanks ever so.  ‘Cept maybe you.”  He added, leering in the younger man’s direction.  “…Ianto, was it?”  He was cute, and Spike had always had a thing for the shy ones.  And the outgoing ones, and all the ones in between, really, but it was always fun bringing the shy ones out of their shell.

 

Ianto blushed, and looked away, but Spike could hear the quickening of his heart, saw the tightness in his shoulders that sent a shudder down his body, and smelled the faint scent of lust wafting off him.  Interesting.  Pretty little boy liked the attention.  That was good to know.

 

Jack laughed as Ianto started to climb the ladder, and smacked him playfully on the ass on the way up.  “Only if you let me watch, boys!” he called up after him, and stopped to rummage through one of his drawers and pulled out an old pair of pants and a t-shirt for the blond man to wear.

 

He couldn’t exactly let him walk around naked.  Well, he could, it wasn’t like everyone wouldn’t appreciate the view, but he really shouldn’t.

 

Spike caught the handful of clothing tossed his way, and looked pointedly at Jack, until the man shot him a wink and climbed upstairs.  Spike finally stood, and slid into the clothes.  They were two sizes too big, but at least his pecker wasn’t hanging out, so that was a plus.

 

He climbed up after the other two, having flashbacks of being back in his crypt.  Did real people actually live like this?  But when he got upstairs, his jaw dropped.  It was nothing like his crypt.  It was so effing cool, it put Angel’s fancy Wolfram and Hart digs to shame.  It was something straight of one of Xander’s lame sci-fi shows, and… was that a bloody pterodactyl? 

 

There were three other people waiting for him when he got upstairs, one bloke, kind of nerdy looking, but cute, and Spike guessed that was probably the doctor Ianto had mentioned, ‘Owen’.  Two girls, both hot little numbers, and Spike gave them both his most charming smile.  It also happened to be his most come hither smile, but hey, it looked good on him, and you worked with what you were given.

 

Two mouths dropped open in unison, and both girls took a step back.

 

One of them actually gasped, and her eyes went wide, and she licked her lips, before she managed to speak.  “Is that…” she asked, quietly, shaking her head.

 

“No,” Jack and Ianto answered together, Jack sounding amused, and Ianto relieved.

 

“But he looks exactly like…”  The other one, this time, one hand working furiously over a computer keyboard, as she glanced at the screen out of the corner of her eye.

 

“I know, but trust me, it’s not him.”

 

“Then who is he?”  The doctor now, Spike was sure of it, because he’d thrown a stethoscope around his neck, and he was pointing some futuristic looking gadget at Spike, beeping and blinking at the end.

 

Jack and Ianto frowned, as they realised that they hadn’t found out, and looked at each other, before looking at their mystery guest.  He hadn’t answered when Jack had first asked, and Ianto hadn’t cared much about the answer beyond ‘not John’. 

 

The mystery man rolled his eyes, and settled his gaze on Tosh, smiling softly at her.  Tosh had that effect on people.  “Spike,” he answered, simply.

 

Tosh frowned, and her face pulled in that cute little rumpled way.  “He’s our rift spike?”

 

‘Spike’ looked at her like she was crazy, cocking his head to the side to try to get a better look at her monitor.  He obviously had no idea what the rift was, but that wasn’t surprising.  Most people had no idea.  “Uh... no, love.  Spike.  It’s my name.”

 

“And yes,” Jack added.  “He’s also our rift Spike.  We think.  Just showed up in my bed this morning.”

 

“Yeah, about that,” Spike said, the fact that he’d woken up in a strange bed, in God knows where, starting to piss him off, more than confuse him.  “Wanna get to the explaining bit?”

 

Jack took a deep breath, and got ready to give Spike the short version.  “There’s a rift through space and time that runs permanently through Cardiff.  The other end is… open.  Grabs people from anywhere and everywhere, any time, any place, and brings them here.  Takes people away too.  And we think it took you.  To uh… my bed.”

 

Owen coughed into his hand and looked down at the floor, mumbled, with a grin.  “Wouldn’t be the first time a strange man showed up in your bed, would it Jack?”

 

“All the same.” Jack said pointedly, ending that line of the conversation, but still wearing his ever-present smile.  “Owen, I want you to check him out.  Tosh, check your brilliant little program there, and let me know where and when he’s from, see if we can send him back.”

 

“Or,” Spike suggested, exasperated, and sick and tired of being treated like he wasn’t even in the room.  He got enough of that back in LA, thanks.  “You could just ask me.  Then again,” he paused, and waggled his eyebrows at Tosh.  “If you want to check me out instead, I couldn’t say I’d mind too terribly much.”

 

Tosh blushed, much like Ianto had, but it was obvious that she was just embarrassed, not even remotely interested.  Which didn’t make much sense, considering Spike had seen her checking him out.  She thought he was cute, that much was clear.  “Pass, thanks,” she said, and smiled tightly, eyes drifting over Owen, as she looked away.  Spike raised an eyebrow and looked at Owen too, watched how he shuffled uncomfortably, and looked back at the beeping little gadget pointed at Spike’s torso.  Ah, so that was how it was.

 

Well, at least Ianto was still an option.  And Jack, of course, but for some reason, Spike didn’t feel like trying out yet another overly large man with a boss complex.

 

“He’s worse than you,” Ianto mumbled to Jack, and went to stand next to Tosh, seeming to find the results of whatever she was working on her computer very interesting.

 

“Hey!” Jack and Spike said at the same time, but they were both smart enough to realise that ‘hey’ was pretty much their only defence.

 

There was more key-punching from Tosh’s direction, and more beeping and flashing from Owen’s, a few pads stuck to him, something wrapped around a finger, and something else shoved in his ear.  All in all, it could have been worse, but he’d still rather have woken up on Angel’s king-sized bed, slept until noon, and then filled his tummy with blood and Scotch, and played video games until it was dark enough to go out and kill something.

 

“‘M from LA,” Spike told them, after a few seconds too long of silence.  He’d never really been one for the quiet.

 

“When?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“When are you from?”

 

“Uh… ‘bout twenty minutes ago?”

 

“No,” Jack smiled.  “I mean… What date?  What was the date before you disappeared?

 

Spike looked at him funny, but before he could answer, Tosh interrupted.  “January 17^th, 2004,” she said.  Four years ago.  Hmm…” she trailed off, and hit a few more buttons, and Ianto moved to the computer station next to hers, hitting a few of his own.  “I’m not sure we’ll be able to get him back, Jack.  I can try, but…  Time as well as space travel makes things more difficult.  I wouldn’t count on it.”

 

“Bugger that!” Spike protested.  “You lot brought me here, you’re gettin’ me back home!”

 

“We’ll do our best,” Jack assured him, and then put a hand on the small of Spike’s back, figuring it was maybe time to introduce him to the gang.  If they couldn’t get him back, and they probably couldn’t, they’d be useful people to know.

 

“Toshiko Sato,” he boomed, smiling brightly at her, and she looked up briefly and offered a polite nod and smile back, before she got back to work.  “Computer genius.  Owen Harper,” he continued, nodding at Owen, who was currently scanning Spike with a thermometer.  “Resident doctor.”  Owen ignored them but for a grunt, and Spike seemed happy to let him.  “Gwen Cooper.  Sorry – Williams.  Heart and soul of the team.  The… human aspect, if you will.”

 

“Hello,” Gwen said, straight-faced, and Spike grinned at her.

 

“And last but certainly not least,” he said, and looked at Ianto, winking.  “Ianto Jones.”  Jack took a breath to explain Ianto’s function, but Spike snickered, cutting him off.

 

“Yeah, think I can figure what he’s for,” he said, and Jack and Gwen both stifled laughs.  “Can’t say I blame you, either.”

 

“Like I said,” Jack told him, and Spike couldn’t tell whether or not he was kidding.  “Just so long as you let me watch.”

 

“Well,” Owen said, starting to pack up his kit and put his gear away after a few minutes.  “I can tell you two things.  One, yes, he definitely came through the rift.”

 

“And two?” Jack asked.

 

“Two, he’s a vampire.”

 

Tosh sucked in a breath and bit her lip, looked up and her fingers stilled over her keyboard for a moment.

 

“Relax, cutie,” Spike told her, smirking.  “I won’t bite.  Not unless you want me to.”

 

“Nice of you to offer, mate,” Owen said, and Spike knew a ‘back off’ when he heard one from a not-quite-boyfriend.  “But I think…”

 

And then there was a brilliant flash of light, an electric spark through the air that sent everyone’s hair standing on end briefly, and when everyone had regained their vision, and equilibrium, there were two more people in the room.

 

Two more people, lying flat on the floor, the freakishly tall one apparently in pain, and winded.  Probably because the just plain tall one, with his hand down the first one’s pants, had just fallen on top of him.

 

“Sorry,” the one on top said to the other, and after a smirk, and some movement underneath the pants, the freakishly tall one made a face, and pushed at the other.  They both looked around then, seeming to realise they were no longer where they had been, and jumped up quickly, starting to survey their new surroundings.  It was something they were used to, Jack could tell, getting the lay of the land, looking for potential points of attack, and possible exits, and it made him wonder about them.

 

The just plain tall one smiled, winked and it made Spike’s cock twitch with interest.  “There uh…” he said, and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, almost like he was embarrassed, which was bloody adorable.  And completely an act.  “There was a wall there, a minute ago.”

 

“Dean,” the other one hissed, and smacked ‘Dean’ on the arm.  “Flirt later maybe?  First, let’s, I don’t know, find out where we are, and what the hell we’re doing here?”

 

“Cas?” Dean asked, turning to his brother and shrugging.  Sam pulled a face, so Dean rolled his eyes.  “Okay, Zach?  I don’t know, Sam.  But I figure ‘angels’ is a pretty good explanation for being one place one second, and another the next.”

 

Spike stiffened at the mention of Angel.  “Really don’t think he’s got anything to do with this,” he said, because Angel could be a dick sometimes, but he’d have told Spike if there were any plans to start magically transporting people through time and space.

 

He frowned.  Probably.

 

“Who, Zach?” Dean asked, frowning, because how the hell did this guy know Zach? 

 

“Uh, no,” Spike said, giving Dean his ‘are you high’ face.  “Angel.”

 

“Which angel?”

 

“Well, this conversation is getting us nowhere,” Tosh said, and stepped out slightly from behind her station, to get a better view of the two new men.  “What’s the date?” she asked, looking from one to the other.

 

“Usually?  A twelve pack and a motel room, but for you I think I could rustle up something a bit nicer,” Dean told her, smiling his perfect smile, and winking when she looked up at him.  She blushed, which was adorable, and Dean cocked his head, pursed his lips and wondered if he’d have time to get her alone for a while before they figured out what the hell had happened, and how the hell they were going to get back. 

 

Fuck, who was he kidding?  He knew he wouldn’t actually touch her, even if he got the chance.  Sam could get so uppity about shit like that.

 

“I wouldn’t bother,” Spike said, and pushed up from where he’d been leaning against Gwen’s desk, and shot Owen an impressed look.  “That one’s taken.”

 

“So’s this one,” Sam ground out, and elbowed Dean in the side.

 

“Ow!” Dean complained, rubbing exaggeratedly at his ribs.  “Dude, what the fuck?”

 

“I meant,” Tosh continued, sighing and rolling her eyes.  She was hiding a smile though, so Dean could tell she was flattered.  Job well done, then.  “What’s the date?  Year, month, day.”

 

“Uh…” Dean said, and looked over his shoulder to Sam, who was still standing about a foot behind him.  Crap.  This definitely sounded like angels.  “November 8^th, 2009.”

 

“Hmm.”  Tosh nodded absently, and got back to her computer.  “Yes, that makes sense,” she added, seconds later.

 

“Well, I’m glad it does to you, sweetheart,” Dean told her.  “You maybe want to fill us in?”

 

“Where are you from?” she asked, ignoring him in favour of grabbing one of the scanners out of Owen’s bag, and waving it around the men.

 

“And what are your names,” Jack asked, waggling his eyebrows, and not bothering to hide his leer.  Spike snickered, and Ianto rolled his eyes.

 

Sam shifted uncomfortably.

 

Jack stood up straight, pulling himself to his full, impressive stature, and stepped closer the men.  He figured introducing himself and the gang first might put the obviously apprehensive men at ease.  Especially the really tall one.  He seemed… twitchy.

 

“Jack Harkness,” he said, indicating himself, and then made the rest of the introductions quickly, with the sweep of a hand.  “Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Gwen Williams, and… Spike.”

 

“Charmed,” Spike grinned at them.  That Dean was pretty hot, but the Sam bloke he was with looked like the type to get bitchy about other people touching his stuff.  Probably wouldn’t be worth it.

 

“I’m Sam, and this is Dean.  Winchester,” Sam told Tosh, with an apologetic smile.  “We were in Arizona when we, uh…” he trailed off, and blushed, remembering exactly what they’d been doing, what they’d been about to be doing, when they’d suddenly shown up here.  Wherever ‘here’ was.

 

“Ooo, how long have you been married?” Gwen asked, excitedly, her hand instinctively going to her ring finger, twisting her brand new wedding band.  She’d only just gotten back from her honeymoon a few days ago, and she was still in blushing bride mode.

 

“Excuse me?!” Dean sputtered, almost choking on his own tongue.  “Married?”

 

“Or… I’m sorry,” Gwen said, frowning.  “Are you allowed to get married in Arizona?”  She wasn’t sure what the laws were, over there.  “Just… the last name… I assumed…”

 

“Yes!” Sam answered, a little too enthusiastically, his arm going easily around Dean’s shoulder.  “Yes, married.  It just… It seems like forever.  Doesn’t it, Dean?”  His smile was tight, and his arm around Dean was tighter.  He could have just told these people that they were brothers, but given the way they’d found them, that probably wasn’t the best idea.  He didn’t want to look like a freak, and he hoped Dean would back him up on this, even if it would almost certainly eliminate his chances of scoring with the hot computer nerd.

 

Which really, was even better.  Sam thought it might be a good idea to always tell people they were married, wherever they went.

 

Dean snorted, and shrugged out of Sam’s hold.  “Yeah.  Longer,” he said, and Jack shot Dean an amused look.

 

“So, seriously,” Dean continued, when Tosh had put her little gadget away, and told Owen to take over for her.  “Anyone want to tell us where we are?”

 

“Or when we are?” Sam added.

 

“March 10^th, 2008,” Jack answered.  “Cardiff, Wales.”

 

“Back in time?” Dean wondered.

 

“And half way across the world?” Sam asked.  “That doesn’t make any sense.  What’s here?  Why would anyone want us to see this?”

 

“There’s a rift,” Owen offered with a heavy sigh, shoving a thermometer in Sam’s ear.  “Runs through space and time, blah blah…  Took you from your nice, cozy… wall,” he said, with a smirk, “and dropped you off here, in the middle of a secret not-quite-government base, designed to monitor activity, and protect the planet from alien threats.”

 

Sam screwed up his face, and pulled back unintentionally from the crazy man.  “Uh, okay…”

 

“Dude, there’s no such thing as aliens,” said Dean.  There wasn’t.  Was there?  No, Cas would have told them.

 

“So, wait,” Sam said, as Owen continued to poke at Dean with various instruments, and Dean tried ineffectually to bat him away.  “The angels really didn’t bring us here?”

 

“Who’s this Angel guy?” Jack wondered out loud, and then wondered why Spike hadn’t said something about it.  Or, for that matter, why he hadn’t heard him say anything in a couple of minutes.  “And where is Spike?” he asked, looking around and realising that he wasn’t in the room anymore.

 

“Not ‘Angel’,” Sam corrected.  “Angels.  You know, asshole messengers of God, with enormous egos?”

 

“Hey,” Dean frowned.  “They’re not all assholes.”  He shrugged and smiled a little.  “Cas is okay.”

 

“Oh my God, would you shut up about Cas already?  If you love him so much, why don’t you…”

 

“Uh, Jack?” Tosh’s voice interrupted whatever Sam had been about to say, which Dean would be forever grateful for.  He loved his brother, he really did, but sometimes his voice started to grate.  “I found Spike…”

 

She swivelled her monitor around so that the rest of the room could see the CCTV feed, from one of the holding cells in the lower level.  In the cell three down from Janet, strategically placed so that the camera had the best possible view of the action, was Spike. 

 

Pants down around his thighs and smirking up at the camera, Ianto in front of him on his knees, face buried in Spike’s crotch.

 

Gwen bit her lip, sneaking a nervous glance at Jack, worried about how he would respond to seeing his boyfriend with another man.  Owen snickered, and shook his head.  Dean craned his neck to get a better view, because Spike was hot.  And it looked like Ianto really knew what he was doing.  Sam smacked Dean in the back of the head.

 

“Aww,” Dean cooed, grinning teasingly at Sam.  “Don’t be jealous, baby.  You’re hotter.”

 

And then Jack laughed.  Loud and jolly, and turned up the volume.  “I did tell them they had to let me watch,” he smirked, and leaned back against a desk, crossing his arms and ankles in front of him, to enjoy the show.  Ianto looked good on his knees.  Jack had always thought so.

 

“Well, they’re human,” Owen announced, waving at Dean and Sam, and putting his stuff back away in his case, closing it up.

 

“What else would we be?” Dean and Sam asked, in unison.

 

“That’s adorable!” Gwen gushed.

 

“That’s annoying,” Owen disagreed. 

 

“Aliens,” Jack told them.  “That’s typically what comes through the rift.”

 

“Spike’s a vampire,” Tosh offered helpfully, nodding.

 

“What?!” Sam asked, mouth dropping open, and reaching down to grab the knife that was strapped to his ankle.

 

“And you’re just letting him..?” Dean trailed off, waving his hand at the computer screen, where Spike was now up against the wall, his legs wrapped around Ianto’s hips, both their pants fallen to the ground around their ankles.

 

“What?” Jack asked.  “He’s not gonna hurt anyone.”

 

“Oh, so he’s one of those fuzzy, cuddly vampires then, is he?”

 

Jack cocked his head toward the screen, and licked his.  “I don’t know about fuzzy…”

 

“Fuck, he’s not that hot,” Sam bitched, but he didn’t complain when Dean took his hand, threading their fingers together.

 

Dean and Jack both studied the screen appreciatively, watched as Spike threw his head back against the wall and moaned, low and loud while Ianto thrust into him, hard.  “Yes, he is,” they both said, imagining it was them in Ianto’s place.

 

“God, Dean, do you ever…”

 

“There you are,” a voice came from behind the brothers, cutting Sam off, and everyone turned to find the source.

 

“Cas,” Dean said, breathing a sigh of relief.  He hadn’t been worried, exactly, but when you were lost in time, it was always good to have an angel nearby, just in case.

 

Tosh frowned at her computer, punched a few buttons, and frowned again.  “Jack, I’m not showing any signs of rift activity.  I don’t know where he came from, but it wasn’t the rift, that’s for sure.”

 

“What happened to you two?” Cas asked, frowning at Dean, like he was scolding him for showing up late for supper.  “I’ve been looking for you for weeks.”

 

“We just got here, like ten minutes ago,” Dean said, defensive.  “And it wasn’t our faults.  We just kinda… showed up here.”

 

Owen heaved a sigh, and prepared to explain.  Again.  “Rift through space and time….” He started, rushing his words, but Cas cut him off.

 

“Ah.  Yes.  Torchwood, Cardiff.”

 

“You’ve heard of us?” Jack asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.  Whoever this guy was, was clearly a threat, if he knew about them, and could just show up in the middle of their heavily locked base of operations whenever he wanted to.

 

Cas nodded.  “I’ve heard of everything.”

 

“Relax,” Dean told Jack, sensing his apprehension.  “This is Cas.  Castiel.”

 

“I am an angel of the Lord,” Cas told the room in general, with decisive jutting of his jaw. 

 

“Owen?” Jack asked, and immediately Owen was in front of Cas, taking out his equipment once again, ready to examine him. 

 

“I swear, I’m looking for a new job,” he muttered, and pointed a scanner at Castiel, to find out what he really was.  It wasn’t an angel, that was for damn sure.  There were no angels, there was no God.  And Owen should know.  He was dead.

 

Castiel looked at the instrument, scrutinizing it for a moment, and then ignored it.  “Let’s go,” he told Dean, and then glanced at Sam, nodding.  “There is work to be done.”

 

“Wait, where are you going?” Jack asked.  “You don’t belong in this time.  We need to make sure you’re hidden, that you don’t do anything that might alter…”

 

“We’re not staying in this time,” Castiel told him, screwing up his face and looking at Jack as if he were particularly slow.  “I will bring them back where they belong.”

 

“You can do that?”

 

Cas gave Jack a look that was close as he ever came saying ‘duh’.  “I am an angel of the Lord,” he reminded him.

 

“Looks human to me,” Owen said, checking the read-out on his instruments.

 

“We don’t have time for this,” Castiel said, reached his hands out, ready to place two fingers on Sam and Dean’s foreheads.

 

“Heh,” Dean said.  “Actually, we kind of do.  That’s the upside to time travel.”

 

“Dean, shut up,” Sam grumbled, eager to get out of there, and back to their motel as quickly as possible.

 

“Right,” Cas nodded, and started to raise his hands again.

 

“Wait!” Jack nearly shouted, stopping them again.  “Spike?”

 

“What?” Castiel asked, pulling his face tight, and getting seriously annoyed.  For an angel.

 

“Oh, uh…” Dean said, and pointed at Tosh’s screen.  It was no longer facing the room, because she’d been working on it since Cas showed up, but she hit a few buttons and spun it back around.

 

And there they were, Spike and Ianto, still in the same position against the wall they’d been in two minutes ago. 

 

“The blond one.  He uh… he’s not… from here, either.”

 

Castiel tilted his head, and studied the screen.  “He looks… busy,” he said.

 

Dean smirked.  “We could wait.  It’s kind of a good show.”

 

Sam scowled, and Cas frowned, then sighed, so light that nobody except Dean noticed, and then he was gone.  He showed up on the monitor a half second later, touched Spike on the shoulder, and then a half second after that, the two of them were upstairs again, with everyone else.

 

Everyone else, except for Ianto, who was bracing himself against the wall and looking from side to side, clearly wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

“What the…” Spike sputtered, trying to catch his balance under the firm grip of… whoever the bloody hell was currently holding onto his arm, and trying to hike his pants up.  “Bit rude, mate.  Was kind of a private moment, yeah?”

 

Dean snickered, and eyed the screen, where Ianto was now fastening up his own pants.  “Not really all that private, buddy.”

 

“Which, I’m guess you planned on,” Jack added, grinning.  “Anyway, time for you to head home.  Though feel free to stop by in your own time.  I’ll be here,” he told him, leaning in close, his voice pitched low and suggestive.

 

“What is that?” Castiel asked, voice rough and eyes narrowed on the computer screen.  The view had changed, and the other half naked man was no longer visible.  It was… something else.

 

“That?” Jack said.  “That’s Janet.  She’s an alien.  We call them Weevils.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cas told him, and gathered Dean, Sam and Spike next to him, touching all three of them, ready to bring them home.  “There’s no such thing as aliens.”

 

Spike didn’t have any idea what they were talking about, and he didn’t really care.  All he knew, before everything went white, and he was suddenly back in Angel’s penthouse with a killer erection that was still half sticking out of his pants, was that he was waking the giant pouf up.  And they were so going again.

 

END