RockStarPeach

Title: Crowded Lonely Night

Pairing: J2

Rating: PG

Word count: 3700

Summary: Jensen is an elf at the North Pole. He works as part of the Elf on a Shelf program to determine who is naughty and who is nice. Jared is one of his charges and as Jared grows, Jensen's feelings for him change. One snowy winter night Santa offers Jensen the chance to go after what he's always wanted, but there's a catch. He has to get Jared to love him back by New Years.


***

It's creepy as fuck, is what Jensen thinks.

For some reason it's different when Santa does it, when he closes his eyes and concentrates and just knows if a kid's been naughty or nice. Whoever invented Elf on a Shelf is some kind of sadist. Jensen has been plotting his revenge since his third year on the job.

He gets it, he supposes. There are a shit tonne of kids out there, these days and Santa can only go into his 'have you been a good little boy or girl' trance for so many hours out of the day. He's got a toy factory to run, after all. It makes sense for him to outsource.

So Jensen, as well as about a thousand other junior elves are stuck on 'List duty'. Sounds like a good thing, right? List duty. As in The List, the list that tells Santa who gets an ipad and who gets the shaft.

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

Jensen yawns and rubs his tired eyes, dry from hours upon hours of staring at a wall made up of dozens of computer monitors. Six-year-old Jane Kirkpatrick kisses her daddy goodnight and goes to bed on time. Jensen looks her up; Nice List. No change. Scott Mason, aged 8, steals his little brother's candy cane and blames it on the dog. Jensen opens up his file and moves him over to 'Naughty'.

He scans through all the images on the wall in front of him, then clicks over to the next set. Then the next one and the next after that and at the end of the day he's nearly finished his ten month long project, he's checked in on all his charges, peeked through all his little Elves on Shelves to the children on the other side.

It's Hell.

What Jensen wouldn't give to be working the toy line, or answering letters. Shit, he'd even take mucking out the reindeer stalls over perving on strangers. He can't even tell you how many times he's accidentally tuned in on 'Mommy kissing Santa Claus', if you catch his drift.

Jensen started this job when he was ten. He got his sexual education early. And vividly.

Jensen checks the clock.

Almost midnight. Almost midnight on December 23rd.

Which means that in just over four minutes he gets to shut this down. He gets to turn off his monitors and get some sleep. He gets to eat and hang out with his friends and maybe let Matt (who works in R&D and okay, maybe Jensen is using him because that is the most coveted department in all of the North Pole and Jensen would just about kill to marry out of his current job) blow him.

He's got a full two weeks free and he can hardly wait.

Matt sends him an instant message, so do Misha and Cindy and Jensen smiles as he replies, telling them he'll meet them at Vixen's in a few.

He's almost done for the day but he before he signs off he switches the monitors all over to one image. The image of a sleeping recent college graduate, legs tangled up in his Spongebob bedsheets and Jensen smiles. Twenty years Jensen's been at this job. Twenty years he's been checking in on Jared Padelecki, seven-times on the Nice List and the rest of the time just being nice.

Elves on Shelves get passed around. They get handed from sister to brother, from mother to daughter, from uncle to nephew. It's Jensen's job to follow those Elves down the line, watch the new generation. But the Elf in the Padelecki household never got handed off. Jared kept him, even after he stopped believing in Santa. He kept him even after Christmas had come and gone. He'd kept that elf on the shelf in his room, next to his basketball trophies and his school books. He took it with him when he moved, and he always smiled good morning and whispered goodnight and told that little stuffed elf – told Jensen – all his secrets.

Told him about how he wanted an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas when he was seven, about his first date with a boy named Osric when he was fourteen. About how scared he was when he put a scratch on his daddy's brand new car and about how excited he was to start university and how he swore he was never drinking again after his first kegger.

Jensen's watched Jared grow, spied on his entire life through that damn toy. At first he was just like any other kid. Three years old, sweet and playful and bright-eyed and as he grew, so did Jensen's interest. He was funny, smart, he talked to Jensen, told him stories, jokes. He treated Jensen like a friend and he quickly became Jensen's favourite charge.

He's not sure when that changed.

No, that's not true.

He remembers in great detail, the way Jared had looked the morning of his nineteenth birthday. Straight from the shower with a towel wrapped around his tiny waist and water dripping from the ends of his messy hair down over his shoulders. Jensen's mouth had gone dry, he'd leaned a little closer to the monitor – and then Jared had lost the towel completely as he bent over his dresser reaching for something to wear and Jensen had nearly tripped over himself trying to slap the 'off' button on the control panel.

It was wrong. He knew that. Spying at all like this was wrong and especially on the more... personal aspects of people's lives. Especially people that made Jensen feel... Anyway, yeah. Wrong. Jensen had a boyfriend, Jared had a boyfriend and even if he didn't Jared was under the impression that the Elf on his Shelf was nothing but a toy and elves like Jensen were nothing but bedtime stories made up by parents trying to get their kids to eat their veggies.

It wasn't that day that Jensen fell in love.

That came later, came more slowly. It snuck up on him over the past few years and it's no less wrong than it ever was, but now Jensen's got the feed from Jared's elf routed to his phone, where he can sneak a peak when he's having a rough day. Or when he misses Jared. Which he does all the time.

He sighs as he watches Jared heave in a loud snore and roll over onto his side, before he shuts the screens down.

***

Vixen's is not actually run by Vixen.

It's the local watering hole, owned and operated by an elf named Samantha and Jensen waves at her when he steps inside. He spots his friends at a table in the corner and heads over to join them, motioning for the waitress to bring them another round on his way.

Matt puts his hand on Jensen's knee as soon as he sits down and Jensen smiles at him, moving a little closer. It's not that he doesn't like Matt – he does. He's a good friend and he's pretty hot and he sucks dick better than anyone else Jensen's ever had, but Jensen's heart just isn't in it, these days. His heart is somewhere else, stubbornly stuck where it doesn't belong, with no hope of reciprocation.

Jensen smiles and nods along with the conversation at the table, drinks his beer and then the shots of tequila Misha orders for them all. They're all pleasantly buzzed, Matt leaning close so his head is on Jensen's shoulder and his leg is hooked over Jensen's.

“I was thinking,” he whispers into Jensen's ear and Jensen shivers at the warm breath. “I picked up some candy cane lube from the workshop today...”

Jensen goes still and blinks down at Matt. They've only ever tried anal once and Matt spent the next four days bitching about how sore he was so Jensen had just assumed that was off the table. If that's changed, he can get on board.

He opens his mouth to answer but he shuts it again when he hears someone clear their throat and follows the sound to see none other than Kim Rhodes standing next to their table.

“Ackles,” she says calmly, through a slight smile.

“What did you do now?” Misha teases, even as Jensen's chest feels full and light with nerves. His cell phone with that illegal software, with that 24-7 feed of Jared is burning a hole in his pocket and he swallows as he fakes a smile.

“Sheriff,” he answers. “What can I do for you?”

“Big guy wants to see you,” she tells him and jaws drop not only at their table, but all around the bar.

“Santa?” he squeaks out. Santa doesn't often summon elves and when he does, it's for something big. Fuck, Jensen is dead. “Now?”

Kim just raises an eyebrow and Jensen stands, slowly and makes his way out of the bar to vague murmurs of gossip and pats on the shoulder.

***

He's got a week.

It's fucking crazy.

A week to get the love of his life to fall in love with him right back and that's... that's impossible. Nobody falls in love in a week. Jensen's had twenty years to fall in love with Jared.

But according to Santa (who's actually a pretty chill dude) it's possible. It's happened before. He's not the first elf to fall in love with a human, not the first to have been given human form and a New Year's deadline. If Jared doesn't love him back by then, Jensen goes home. If he does, Jensen can stay.

Stay in Texas, in his ungainly new body in a one bedroom apartment across the hall from Jared Padalecki.

His fridge is stocked, his dresser is full. He's got a television and a laptop and driver's licence and a loaded bank account. Someone went to a lot of trouble. Someone appears to be banking on his success.

He looks around the room, shrugs. Now or never, he figures and he goes across the hall.

Jared answers his door after only a few knocks and when he does Jensen's eyes go so wide he's surprised they don't fall right out.

“You...” he starts. “You're big.” Because he is. He's a human, so obviously he's big, but he's big even for that. Big in a way that Jensen's monitors never properly conveyed.

Jared laughs, maybe a little uncomfortable but the look he gives Jensen, up and down his body with careful, covetous eyes speaks volumes.

“You're pretty big yourself,” he answers.

Jensen frowns, but then looks down. He looks back up at Jared, takes in their relative heights. Not that different, really. He looks back down at his chest, his arms and legs and... wow. Okay, so he was always on the big side as far as elves went but Jared's right. He's got muscles, he's long and he's wide and he's almost as big as Jared.

He doesn't know how he feels about that. He'd kind of prefer Jared to be little, like him instead of the other way around. Oh well.

“Sorry,” Jensen says, looking appropriately bashful. He wants to make a move, but he doesn't want to lie. He doesn't want to tell the truth either, not yet. “I'm uh... new in town. You want to show me a good place to eat? My treat.”

Jared smiles wide back at him and invites him inside.

“Jensen,” he says, reaching out to grab Jared's hand.

“Jared,” Jared answers. “Best place in the neighbourhood is Gino's. Pizza. They deliver.”

“Sounds good,” Jensen answers, following Jared inside.

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a couple beers from the fridge. I'll call for food.”

Jensen does, wanders around Jared's apartment. Sees the bed in the corner, the couch in front of the television. The desk along the far wall. He opens the fridge and pulls out two bottles of beer, opens them both and hands one to Jared when he's off the phone.

“Thanks,” Jensen says and Jared laughs again.

“Don't thank me, you're paying for dinner.”

Jensen smiles at him, stepping closer. It's instinct, sick, uncontrollable instinct and he's leaning in, so fucking close and he's about to kiss Jared right now, after only officially meeting him two minutes ago. He's going to freak Jared out and scare him off and he wants to stop but he can't.

Not until he catches sight of Jared's bookshelf as he tilts his head and then he's backing off quickly, scrambling over to the shelf.

Jared's frowning at him, like Jensen's done something confusing, something Jared's not entirely happy with and Jensen swallows down a whoop of glee because he knows those signs and they all point to Jared being disappointed. Jared wanted Jensen to kiss him. He's still a complete stranger as far as Jared's concerned but Jared had wanted that kiss.

“What...?” Jared asks, shaking his head and Jensen spares him a quick smile before he grabs the Elf on Jared's Shelf and turns him around, so he's facing the wall.

“Sorry,” he says. “These guys kind of freak me out.”

Jared's frown deepens for merely a second and then he's full-on laughing again.

“So,” Jared says once he's calmed down a little. “Jensen. Tell me all about you.”

***

Jensen had told him as much as he could get away with. He's been in the same IT job for as long as he can remember, moved away to chase his dreams.

“I don't know if I have dreams,” Jared confesses the next day. “I'm pretty happy with my life, I like my job, I've got a great family. I don't know that I'd want anything I don't already have.”

Lucky you, Jensen thinks.

Out loud, he's bolder.

“What about love?”

“Huh?” Jared asks, but by the way his eyes skitter and the way he jerks just slightly out of Jensen's proprietary hand on his shoulder, Jared knows exactly what he means.

Jensen doesn't have time to dick around.

“Let me take you on a date,” he says. “Because I'm pretty happy, too but there's one thing I'm missing.”

“Little old me?” Jared teases, batting his eyes.

Jensen keeps on looking at him, eyes serious. “Yeah,” he admits. “Little old you.”

Jared blushes and Jensen bites his lip.

***

It's five days into Jensen's little experiment and he's more in love than ever.

Turns out, Jared's all the more alluring in person and Jensen feels weak, feels more and more upside-down and weightless the closer they get.

“I feel like I've known you my whole life,” Jared says, words whispered into Jensen's ear. They're lying side by side, naked on Jared's bed, slick cooling between their bodies. It's like nothing Jensen has ever experienced and he wants to hold onto it, forever. “I know it's silly, but...”

“It's not,” Jensen insists. “It's not silly at all. I feel the same way.”

Jared hums happily and hefts Jensen on top of him, wraps his legs around Jensen's so they're stuck together. Jensen's heart leaps in his chest and he manages to tamp down the undignified yelp that threatens to escape.

I love you, he wants to say. I love you and I've been spying on you since you were in diapers.

Of course, he says nothing.

***

They've spent the past two days just like the six before them. They walk around the neighbourhood, they stop to eat or get a drink, they see a movie. They go home to Jared's house and they talk. They talk and Jensen learns more and more about Jared, more than he ever told his Elf and Jensen opens himself up to Jared just as much.

“I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year,” Jared tells him, halfway into their second bottle of wine as they watch the countdown on TV. “Before you.”

“I...” Jensen starts. He's halfway to telling Jared all about Matt, who up until a week ago thought they were pretty hot and heavy but then Jensen realises that it doesn't matter. This is it. “I love you.”

Jared tilts his head, lifts his glass to clink against Jensen's.

“I love you, too. Crazy, right? We've only known each other a week.”

Jensen can feel himself changing, he can feel his body tingling and solidifying and he stands up abruptly.

“No,” he hisses, shaking his head. “No, stop.” He can't let this happen, not when Jared doesn't know.

His body still tingles.

“What did I do?” Jared asks. Jensen smiles at him, lopsided.

“Not you. Jared I... I need to tell you something.”

***

“So you... saw all those times I wet my bed?” Jared asks. “Dude, that's horrifying.”

Jensen's eyes widen. “That's your problem with this? That I saw you piss yourself when you were five?”

“Once when I was ten,” Jared mumbles. “And yes! God, you saw me lip sync to New Kids On The Block and cry when I got kicked off the football team. You saw... my first vibrator.”

“I didn't,” Jensen assures, right away. “Anytime your clothes came off, I swear I didn't watch. But that's because... I've been in love with you so long, and I always kind of imagined I'd get to look at you for real. I didn't want to... intrude, I guess. Fuck, that sounds stupid. I know I crossed a line – Hell, crossed a dozen of them – but I'd never have done... that. I'd never have spied on you like that.”

“What does it say about me that I wouldn't have minded?” Jared asks, smile tilted.

Jensen's mouth goes dry for a moment and then a smile curls up his teeth.

“You like to be watched?”

Jared shrugs. “Kind of. I mean, depends on who's doing the watching. And the idea that you saw some of the things you could have seen... Yeah. Yeah, I kind of like that.”

“Oh, I'm more than happy to make up for everything I didn't see, over the years,” Jensen swears. “Can you seriously...? I mean, you really want... me?”

“I still feel like I'm crazy,” Jared says. “I'm crazy, but yeah. I'll go anywhere with you.”

“You don't need to go anywhere,” Jared tells him. “I'll turn human, for good. I'll stay here with you.”

“What about your family?” Jared asks. “Your friends?”

Jensen shrugs. “They'll come visit. It's not like I'll never see them again.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jared's face is pulled into a tight line and Jensen frowns. “I just... What if I went with you?”

“You want to move to the North Pole?”

“Who wouldn't?!” Jared asks. “Seriously, why wouldn't I want that? My family can visit, right?” At Jensen's nod, he goes on. “Great! So why would I not want to give up my boring accounting job to work with freakin' Santa Claus!?”

“And me,” Jensen grumbles.

Jared laughs. “Yeah, baby. And you. So?”

Jensen laughs out loud, vaguely hears the television in the background where the crowd has begun counting down from ten.

He spares a distant thought for his family, for his friends, for Santa, for Matt. They'll understand. They'll be happy he's come back home, that he's brought another elf to help out.

They'll love Jared. Who wouldn't?

“I'll take you anywhere you want to go,” Jensen promises, as he presses his lips over Jared's.

The crowd on the television reaches 'one' and their cheers are loud and boisterous and they fade to a pleasant background hum as his arms close around Jared, pull him near.

“Anywhere,” he vows again and they start to tingle, the world turns black.

They're going home.

END