rockstarpeach: (Cas)
Add MemoryShare This Entry
Here we go again. Anything to do with Cas, right into the void. I miss you, my fellow Cas fans (*waves* at the three of you left), and I hope you like, [livejournal.com profile] snogged, my love!

Title: Surely To The Sea
Pairing: Sam/Cas, background Dean/Lisa, unrequited Dean/Cas
Rating: PG
Word count: 2300
Summary: It's Sam's brother's wedding and Sam's happy for him, he is. Especially when he gets talking to the best man.


Sam's been to a lot of weddings.

He's been stable for a while now, good job, nice apartment, graduated from law school almost a decade ago and over the years he's watched his friends meet people, pair off, get hitched. Not Sam, though. Not because he doesn't want that – he does. He wants the husband and the kids and the 'how was your day, honey?' as much as the next person, he just hasn't found it yet.

He's dated, a couple of guys pretty seriously for, a while but whenever the time comes for that inevitable conversation, that choice, the decision to make a commitment to a life together or go their separate ways Sam always finds himself alone at the end of it.

He used to like weddings.

He should like this one, too. There's music and booze and family and friends, people are laughing and dancing and they're dressed up in their finest dresses and suits. They're drunk and they're with their loved ones and they're happy.

Sam should be happy, too. It's his brother's wedding, for Christ's sake. And he is, he's happy for Dean. He hasn't seen his brother in a while, doesn't see him very often at all. Two or three times a year, maybe in the past fifteen years, since he moved half way across the country for school.

They still talk, of course. Dean uses his computer as little as possible and he refuses to learn how to video call, but he calls Sam on the regular old telephone every Tuesday night. They're not as close as they were when they were kids, but he still loves Dean every bit as much as he ever did.

Watching his brother smile like that, watching him promise himself to another person, forever. Watching the way his face lights up when she smiles back, the way he looks at her like she's all he'll ever need. Watching him kiss her, dance with her while everything around them fades and all they see is each other... Sam's happy. He's happy because Dean's happy.

But Sam is miserable.

He doesn't want to take away from his brother's day, though. He doesn't want to sulk and stomp his foot and wonder 'Why isn't it me? Why can't I find someone? Am I going to be alone forever?' so he pastes a smile of his face sits back in his chair and laughs, as Dean dips his new bride on the dance floor a little too deeply and they both nearly land on their asses.

They wobble back up again and share a sickeningly inappropriate kiss and Sam's smile fads as he scans the room. About half the guests are sitting at tables at this point, the rest on the dance floor or at the bar or in the courtyard outside.

Dean's side is a little thin – only one table for family members to Lisa's five – but there are four tables in the back for friends. Sam recognises one group – Dean's buddies from high school, Jo and Ash and Andy and Bela – but the rest he doesn't know. Maybe they're Lisa's friends, maybe Dean's from college. Sam feels a little bad that he doesn't know. He's Dean's brother, he should know the important people in his life.

Hell, he'd never even met the best man, before the rehearsal yesterday.

Speaking of which; there he is.

Cas. Odd name, but that's how Dean introduced him. Sam doesn't even know if it's short for something, or what his last name is. Just... Cas.

Sam didn't really get the chance to talk to him last night. They did a quick run through of where everyone stands and what everyone says and then Cas had made his apologies and practically ran out the door before they even made it to dinner.

Which was a damn shame, really. Because Cas seems a little odd, a little stiff, a little too intense but he's also a little adorable. He's spent more than enough time side-eyeing the happy couple over the last two days and he hesitated a fraction before he handed over the rings during the ceremony today, he flinched just a bit before his face went blank and curious again and Sam's not an idiot.

He might be Dean's best friend, but that was – that is, when Sam watches Cas watch them dancing – the face of someone who knows the love of his life will never again love him back.

And Sam's not into straight guys.

Still, misery loves company so Sam picks up his half drunk beer and walks across the room.

“So,” he says, sitting down in the empty seat next to Dean's best man. He feels a slight twinge of... regret, maybe guilt that he doesn't even know Dean's best friend, but people grow apart as they grow up, a thousand miles apart. That's just what happens. Besides, Sam's planning on moving back to Kansas soon. Dean doesn't know that yet. Sam's going to tell him tomorrow. It's one of his wedding presents. That and a waffle iron.

“We didn't get to talk much, yesterday. Sorry I couldn't make it to the bachelor party, man. I was in court right up until two days ago. I heard you guys had a uh... a pretty good time.”

'Pretty good time' is a nice way of saying that Dean spent the first half of the night with a stripper in his lap and a whisky in his hand and then sang bad karaoke until he was too drunk to stand and Ash had to help carry him home. And Sam feels like he's going to owe Ash his first born, for some of those videos he took. That's little brother blackmail gold, he's got there.

“Yes,” Cas answers. He stiffens up even more, sits a little straighter in his chair. “Dean seemed to enjoy himself.”

Sam frowns at that. Huh. It's possible Cas is a little extra surly because the guy who's supposed to (and does) cherish Lisa above all others was getting a little grind action from a couple of half-naked strangers two days ago. Dean's a short-sighted hedonist, but he's not a cheater, never will be so Sam feels like he has to step up here and defend his brother's honour. Or something.

“Look, you know Dean doesn't mean anything by... My brother likes strippers. And he likes porn. But he loves Lisa. That was all just goofing off, you know that, right? He wouldn't actually... He'd never do anything to hurt her.”

“Yes,” Cas says again, but this time his body sags a little, his shoulders slump forward only slightly. “He will be good to her. He loves her.”

“Oh,” Sam says, brows wrinkling in confusion for a moment. He turns his bottle around on the table and pokes at the label before he takes a firmer grip, but before he lifts it to his mouth it hits him. He gets it. “Oh. You're not into Lisa. You're into Dean.”

That's good news, because Cas isn't straight anymore and he's still absolutely adorable.

Too bad for Sam, he's not into rebounds, either. Especially guys rebounding from his brother.

“But... Dean's not...” Sam starts to ask, half to himself and half out loud as Dean leads Lisa off the dance floor and to a table of Lisa's cousins.

“He isn't,” Cas confirms. “And I'm not. Into him, I mean. I am gay.”

Sam stifles a laugh and claps a hand down on Cas' shoulder. He doesn't believe him for a second. About the Dean thing. Cas being gay? Yeah, he can get on board with that.

“Well that's good news,” Sam tells him. When Cas turns so that he's looking straight at Sam for the first time, Sam swallows and drops his hand from Cas' shoulder. Wow, yeah. There's that intensity Sam was finding so attractive just ten minutes ago. It's even more attractive now that he knows Cas swings his way. “Because I'd like to buy you a drink and it might get awkward if you were pining away for my brother.”

Okay, so screw not going for rebounds.

Cas is hot and he looks like he could take Sam apart with just one finger, looks like he could make Sam get down on his knees and beg, make him cry and scream and yell for more around a mouthful of pillow.

Slight and unassuming and deadly sexy. Just Sam's type.

Dean is clearly not any kind of competition and Cas has this way of looking at you like... Like you just want to say yes. To anything. So, Sam might be fighting the urge to take Cas up to his hotel room and offer himself up in penance for every single thing he's ever done wrong in his life. Whatever. Don't judge.

“It's an open bar,” Cas says.

Sam can't read him, so he laughs a little awkwardly and twirls his bottle one more time before he takes a drink.

“No, I know. That was...”

Cas sits up straighter, his head cocks.

“You wish to... get to know me better,” he says and Sam chokes on his drink a little, coughs but before he can confirm or deny (confirm all the way, for the record) Cas nods. “I've had sex before. Several times. I would like to try it again.”

Sam full on coughs, now even though he's already swallowed the last of his beer.

“You... Okay. I honestly just wanted to get to know you a little better.”

Cas stares at him for a second, a few seconds more and then he blinks.

“Apologies,” he says. “I assumed. I'm happy to tell you about myself.” He pauses and tilts his head the other way. Sam shivers and sighs and he swears to God he's got moons in his eyes, Cas is that fucking alluring. Dean is an idiot. Even if he's not gay, Dean is an idiot because Cas is perfect. “I'd like to hear about you, as well.”

So, Sam listens. He listens and he tells, hears about how Cas grew up, with a brother and a sister and a private high school. Tells Cas all the things Dean hasn't, like how much he looks up to his big brother and how hard law school actually was, even though Sam tried to make it look easy. How lonely he is now and how he's afraid his family won't welcome him back like he imagines when he tells them he's moving back home. Cas listens right back and he doesn't quite smile and before Sam knows it, the lights are coming up and people are starting to file out of ballroom.

“Sam!” Dean calls, from the other side of the room where workers are packing up. “Cas!” He's smiling so wide as he heads over to them, stands between them and puts his open palms on the backs of their necks. He squeezes and shakes them and he's practically bouncing.

“I'm married,” he tells them, breathless and wondering. “Can you believe it?”

Sam almost can't. Dean's never seemed the type, not until he met Lisa.

“Congrats, Dean,” he says. “You're a lucky man.”

“That I am, Sammy,” Dean agrees, “that I am.”

“I wish you a lifetime of happiness, Dean,” Cas says, looking up at Sam's brother. His face is level, hard to read like it always is. Sam doesn't know if he means that or not.

“You guys are both staying here tonight, yeah?” Dean asks. “We'll see you for breakfast, right?”

“Of course, Dean,” Cas answers. Dean smiles and runs off before Sam gets the chance to agree, but that's okay. Sam plans on sticking around.

“Still want to... get to know me better?” Sam asks, when Dean has left the room. “No pressure, I just. I'm attracted to you. I like you. I want to see where it goes. As long as you're, you know. Available.”

“I let your brother go,” Cas says, looking straight at Sam as the lights return to full power and the staff starts to pile the tables up in the corner. “If that's what you're worred about. I let him go a long time ago. He never returned my feelings, fully and I... am over it. If I... have sex with you, I'd like you to know that it's not because of Dean. I think you're beautiful. You're warm and you're entertaining and I'm attracted. To you.”

Sam blushes.

He's not proud of it, but he does. He's flattered that someone like Cas – sweet and straightforward and nearly intolerably innocent – wants someone like him. Not that Sam's a bad person, just. He fell in with a bad crowd a while back and he's not proud of some of the stuff he's done.

“This probably isn't a good idea,” Sam tells him. It's not. Cas, no matter what he says, is probably still hung up on Dean and even if he wasn't, Sam lives a twenty hour car ride away. At least for another two months.

“You wish to give yourself to me,” Cas counters. “I wish to take you. That seems like... A good idea, to me.”

“It would be, if I didn't think you'd be thinking about my brother the whole time.”

“As I said,” Cas says, standing calmly. He holds out a hand and Sam can't help but take it, stand also. He goes, when Cas tugs him, toward the elevators. “I let him go. I'd rather not do the same of you.”

“No,” Sam agrees. “No, me neither.”

“Shall we?” Cas offers. He doesn't wait for an answer, just starts walking, pulling Sam along behind him.

Sam's okay with that.

He's still not sure he believes Cas is entirely open and available, but he's willing to give Sam a shot. A shot is all Sam needs. Give him one night, one week and if Cas hasn't forgotten about his misguided crush on Dean by then, Sam will walk away.

He will.

And he might have some explaining to do to his brother in the morning, when he watches them step down to breakfast together but as he follows Cas into the elevator and down the hall toward his room, Sam thinks the looks and the teasing might be worth it.

They could have something, here.

Sam's been to a lot of weddings. He's even hooked up at a few.

And the wedding of Dean Winchester to Lisa Breaden is far and away his favourite.

END

counter free hit unique web
There are 24 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] dreamsofspike.livejournal.com at 05:50am on 09/10/2014
Oooooh I love this. <3

I am so into Sam/Cas right now, and this is just lovely. Very good characterizations, especially for an AU, and sweet without being saccharine.

Just loved it! :)
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:34pm on 10/10/2014
Yeah, Sam and Cas are kind of adorable together :)

Thanks!
 
posted by [identity profile] amberdreams.livejournal.com at 08:57am on 09/10/2014
Aw, so romantic!
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:35pm on 10/10/2014
:)
 
posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com at 01:38pm on 09/10/2014
I loved this! There's so little Sam/Cas out there and it's always a pleasure when a story pops up. I liked this slow, winding build up to maybe more. I believe Cas when he says he let Dean go--this doesn't seem like a Cas who could lie. :) Still, I bet it hurt a little to have to be so central to losing a part of your past. I'm sure Sam will help to make it all better.
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:37pm on 10/10/2014
Thanks, baby! Sam/Cas is starting to grow on me :)
 
posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com at 08:47pm on 10/10/2014
In a writing it kind of way, I hope!
 
posted by [identity profile] snogged.livejournal.com at 03:18am on 10/10/2014
I loved this so hard!

You made Cas perfectly hot and yet still awkward. You made Sam perfectly yummy.
And Dean/Lisa was a nice touch. I'm on season 6 right now and I must admit that I do appreciate that pairing.
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:41pm on 10/10/2014
Yay!! Thanks hon :)

I love Dean/Lisa, so so much. My heart has still not recovered from how all that shit went down.
 
posted by [identity profile] aerynsun5.livejournal.com at 04:50am on 11/10/2014
Lovely! Sam/Cas is very nice.

OK, now I'm going to go back and try to comment on the others. Just know, though, that every time I try to comment on something that has multiple parts, something goes wrong, they don't show up where they're supposed to, and a couple of months later, someone forwards them back to me and says "um, I don't think you meant this for me." That's why I never comments on memes anymore. Fingers crossed, because I loved the others.

Also, Lisa is one of the awesomest of all awesome characters. I'm very sorry things ended that way, also.

 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:34am on 14/10/2014
Yeah, LJ sucks sometimes.

Thanks honey! And agreed, Lisa was fantastic!
 
posted by [identity profile] aerynsun5.livejournal.com at 02:19pm on 14/10/2014
While it is true that LJ sucks, I think the stupid thing about my comments going into space is entirely due to me. :)
 
posted by (anonymous) at 07:20am on 11/10/2014
Sam/Cas: Thank you so very much. I think there should be more Sam/Cas, especially since they both have Dean in common. Such a starting point for bonding over. I enjoyed how your story took advantage of that.

AwesomO
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:35am on 14/10/2014
Thanks :)

I'm not a huge Sam/Cas fan, but the pairing is starting to grow on me.
 
posted by [identity profile] cappy712.livejournal.com at 07:16pm on 12/10/2014
How sweet!!!!

thank you for sharing.
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:35am on 14/10/2014
Glad you liked, thanks hon :)
 
posted by [identity profile] sotobow.livejournal.com at 12:33pm on 14/10/2014
I always liked the Sam and Cas scenes in Supernatural (I though they had good screen chemistry). And I also, when I find the right fic, really enjoy a story about them. This is definitely one of those!

I had so much fun reading this! It left me wanting more. :D
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 02:06am on 15/10/2014
I feel like they could have great chemistry, but often don't. Hopefully we'll get some good stuff this season :)

Thanks!
 
posted by [identity profile] sotobow.livejournal.com at 03:30am on 15/10/2014
Please no one shoot me, but that's exactly how I felt about Dean and Cas: They could have good screen chemistry, but often don't (sadly, since there is a ton of Cas/Dean fic out there that is probably awesome but interests me not at all...). I realize I'm in the teeny tiny minority here.

I always had more fun when Cas and Sam were in scenes together.
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 03:39am on 15/10/2014
I feel that way about Dean and Cas lately. I think they've purposefully tried to write out some of that chemistry between them in recent years, but back in S4 and S5 they were absolutely scorching.

And you're not in the minority, I don't think. Plenty of people dislike Cas, so I'd imagine they don't see any chemistry at all.
 
posted by [identity profile] sotobow.livejournal.com at 01:51pm on 15/10/2014
I've never felt the chemistry between him and Dean, not even in earlier seasons. Which as I said, is a shame for me. But I actually love Cas - I think he's so awesome! <3

Anyway, your story is awesome and I had a lot of fun reading it. :-)
(deleted comment)
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 09:38pm on 04/12/2014
Sam/Cas has its moments :)

I agree, I'm not a fan of everything that happens with the Angels (I find I actually enjoy rather little of it) but I think the overall idea is pretty cool. And of course I'll always love Cas :)

Thanks!
 
posted by [identity profile] ayrdaomei.livejournal.com at 12:35pm on 25/05/2015
This was terrifically cute. I usually avoid AUs with a ten foot pole because the characterizations seem so off (particularly with respect to Cas), but you nailed the particular slightly odd aspect of him perfectly. Lots of great lines in this that I could just hear Cas saying ;) I wish *them* every happiness!

(the bit about Dean never returning Cas' feelings *fully* was an interesting nugget to drop in there :P If things ever did kick off between Sam and Cas, I would just hope that didn't end up being a problem)

(yes, I am worrying about the future of a couple that didn't even kiss in your fic :P)
 
posted by [identity profile] rockstarpeach.livejournal.com at 04:03am on 26/05/2015
Thanks! I love AUs, but that everyone is kept relatively in character is incredibly important. I'm glad you liked this one :)

January

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23 24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31