RockStarPeach

Title: Glittering Prizes and Endless Compromises
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/Others (both graphic and implied, include: Jensen/Misha, Jensen/JDM, Jensen/Jake Abel, Jensen/Mark Sheppard, Jensen/Lauren Cohan)
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 45000
Summary: Jared's in love with Jensen. The only problem is, Jensen's a hooker and Jared can't really afford him. It's a good thing he's so darn cute, because despite Jared's meagre finances, they strike up a business relationship that was only ever an excuse to become more than that. They're head over heels for each other, so it should be their happily ever after, right? Turns out it's harder than Jared expected, having a hooker for a boyfriend. Jensen on the other hand, saw this coming.

MASTERPOST




Jensen walks by the alley every Wednesday night, half expecting Jake to show. He doesn't. For three weeks he doesn't and Jensen's glad. It's good, that the kid's moving on, good that he's given up on Jensen, on chasing something he can't have. Maybe he'll find something real, but Jensen's not counting on it.

For three weeks Jensen's glad, but on the fourth week, Jake is there, waiting behind the store as Jensen peeks around the corner. Jake gives him a shy wave and Jensen's eyes go a little wide, but he smiles and heads over.

“Long time no see,” he says, low and sultry. He stops in front of Jake and angles his hips forward, brushes slightly against Jake's side. He really can't turn it off, not when he's working. It's natural, now.

“Yeah, sorry. I came as soon as I.... I have a thousand. That's what you said, right? A thousand?”

Jensen looks at him, eyes focused and calculating and Jake squirms slightly under the intensity.

“Are you sure, absolutely sure this is what you want?”

Jake swallows and his eyes don't leave Jensen's when he nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.”

“Come on then,” Jensen says, putting an arm on Jake's elbow to turn him in the right direction. He glances back at the store window and there's Jared, watching as always. “I've got a place nearby.”

It's nice. Jake is lovely and responsive and his openness and vulnerability really are incredibly beautiful. Jensen does his job. He does the best he can to make this a good experience for Jake, takes him slow and sweet until Jake is whimpering and incoherent. Jensen does his job, he gets hard and he stays hard and he does all the work, but he doesn't come.

He fakes it, disposes of the condom before Jake can see that it's empty and he tells Jake how wonderful it was, how wonderful he was.

Then he tells Jake not to come back.

By the way Jake smiles at him, bittersweet and resigned, he suspects he didn't have to.

***

Jared's startled when his phone rings at a quarter to one on Thursday morning.

He wasn't sleeping, even though he's been home since eleven. He wasn't even working tonight, just hanging out at the store shooting the shit with Travis and watching for Jensen. He took off shortly after Jensen left with the kid.

Since then, he's been working on the crossword puzzles from all of last week's newspapers that he found in the recycling bin in the back of his building.

He picks up the phone on the second ring, getting his leg tangled in the cord as he hauls the phone over from the other side of the couch.

“Want some company?” It's Jensen. Of course it is, not that Jensen actually calls him very much. But other people call him even less, especially in the middle of the night.

Jared does want some company and even if he didn't, he'd always want Jensen.

Twenty minutes later Jensen's knocking at his door and five minutes after that they're both stripped down to their underwear, snuggled up in Jared's bed and reading through an old TV Guide. Not that Jared has cable, not that he even has a television, but he sometimes takes some of the old magazines Craig throws out. He likes to read about what's happening on shows he's never even seen, and the ones he used to watch when he lived with his parents. Make note of any shows he wants to check out and go to his sister's house, or Jensen's, to watch them.



“You okay?” Jared asks, after a few minutes. He's read the entirety of the Monday night programming line-up out loud to Jensen and Jensen hasn't so much as commented. He's too busy holding Jared close, tracing patterns over Jared's bare stomach with the tips of his fingers.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, fine. Sorry, just... Sorry, I'm good.” He smiles and kisses Jared's shoulder, to make his point.

“You want to talk about it?” Jared asks. Jensen makes a face and opens his mouth but Jared cuts off any protest. “I don't mean... I'm not asking for details. I'm just offering to listen, if you want. You look like... I don't know. Sad?”

Jensen's body shakes against his slightly with mild laughter and he leans down to brush his nose along Jared's collar bone.

“No,” he says. “No, I'm the opposite of sad. It was fine. Tonight was fine. Jake... that's his name, the kid.” Jensen huffs out a breath through his nose. “Kid. He's eighteen, you know. Only a year younger than you. Anyway. He got what he needed, I think. I don't expect to be seeing him again.”

That's a surprise. The kid – Jake – has been coming to Jensen for longer than Jared's been in town. He was a constant, someone Jared had just kind of figured would always be there, even when Jared wished he would go away.

“Did something happen? Are you okay?” Then Jared surprises himself by asking, “Is he okay?”

Jensen shakes his head, ducks so he can take Jared's lips with his, slots Jared's top lip between his own, bites gently and licks over the imaginary mark.

“Everything's fine. I swear,” he says when he pulls back. “Nobody got hurt. Like I said. He got what he needed out of me. He's moving on, that's all.”

Jared thinks about it for a minute, pulls Jensen closer. There's only one explanation.

“You took his virginity.”

“Well,” Jensen hedges. “I didn't take it so much as he threw it at me, but... yeah.”

“Do you do that a lot?” Jared asks. “De-virginise people?”

“I don't exactly make a habit of asking, but I'd guess no. How 'bout you?” Jensen catches under Jared's chin with his forefinger and tilts his face up so he can place a soft kiss on Jared's nose. “You ever pop anyone's cherry?”

“Trying to change the subject?” Jared asks, smiling. “And yeah, once. What about your first time?”

Jensen half-shrugs, as well as he can with Jared half on top of him. “Same as most people, I think. I was fifteen, so was she.”

“She?”

“Yeah, that was before I knew I liked guys. Or... before I admitted it to myself, anyway.” That's not something that Jared can really relate to. He's been out and proud since he was about twelve, since he had his first wet dream about Keanu Reeves and realised what his dick was for.

“So she was your girlfriend?” he prompts. He wants to hear the rest of the story. He wants to hear all of Jensen's stories.

“We dated for about six months. A lifetime, back then. And she was pretty and we got along great and my dick got hard, though I suspect we were both pretty terrible at it. We thought it was true love. We broke up two weeks later, when she went away to Spain with her family for summer vacation. Like I said, pretty typical.”

“Your first time with a guy?”

Jensen laughs a little, rests his chin on the top of Jared's head. “It was a week after that. I got drunk at a party at my buddy's house. Well, it was his older brother's party. There were a bunch of college kids there and I let one of them blow me in the tool shed, out back.” Jensen pauses, laughs again. “I was so fucking freaked out, I spent the rest of the summer locked in my room, sneaking looks at the single copy of Playgirl I found in the trash outside the movie theatre.”

Jared smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. He knows Jensen is embarrassed by that but it only makes this better for Jared. He loves knowing that about Jensen. Loves that these kinds of details make him a part of Jensen's past.

“What about you?” Jensen asks. “How'd you get your V-card punched?”

Jared takes a breath and his smile turns from giddy to content. It's a good memory and he doesn't mind sharing it with Jensen.


It's prom night.

It's a giant fucking cliche but Jared doesn't give a shit, because it's beautiful and romantic and everything about the night is nothing short of magical.

He and his date are dressed in complimenting black tuxes with auburn cummerbunds and corsages. Their entire circles of friends had a table together and shared a limo and now they're back at Tammy's cottage – where her parents said it was okay to party after, so long as they're responsible, don't drink too much and don't wreck anything.

They share another bottle of champagne and play a few rounds of charades and Jared remembers laughing, a lot of laughing and falling down into Max's lap and a hand snaking around his waist.

He's not dating Max, they'd just gone to prom together because they were the only two gay kids at the high school but Max's hand feels good, really good when it slips even lower and Jared tilts his face up, smiles a goofy smile and gets rewarded with a mouthful of Max's lips.

He opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out into Max's and then everything is a drunken, wonderful blur and the next thing he knows he's face down and ass up on Tammy's parents' bed.

Max is slow with him, soft and easy even though Jared doesn't want him to be. It's Max's first time too, though so Jared cuts him a little slack. Neither of them really knows what they're doing but they fumble through and by the end of the night, Jared's pretty sure he's in love.

He wakes up the next morning with cotton in his mouth and a drum beat in his head.

He rolls to his side and sees Max, half-awake beside him and Jared laughs, even though it hurts.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I hate tequila,” Max answers. The words are nothing more than a pathetic growl and Jared wants nothing more than to kiss him better. He does, kisses Max's shoulder and Max squirms a little, claws at the pillow. “Ugh. Did you pop my cherry last night? I distinctly remember I was a virgin before you got your hands on me.”

Jared laughs harder and his head throbs.

“Something like that.”

And today, looking down at his good friend Max, Jared knows that it wasn't actually love he felt last night at all. It was affection, adoration, unbelievable contentment. But not love. Still. Not a bad way to become a man.

“Were you gentle?” Max asks and Jared laughs so hard his stomach hurts worse than his head.

They're still friends after that. They still hang out with the gang at Tammy's and they still go to the arcade and they still sit around down at the beach when it's hot, but there's always something between them, this slight strain that doesn't go away, not until a year later when Jared leaves town.


“Typical,” Jared says. “It was prom night. He was handsome. There was booze.”

“That's all I get?” Jensen asks. “After I bared my soul?”

“I hardly think you bared your soul,” Jared smiles. “But if it makes you feel better, his name was Max. And he wasn't my boyfriend, just my date. I had a boyfriend, before. I had one for almost a year, at the Catholic high school across town but we didn't actually do anything. We broke up when we each decided we wanted to fuck, just... not each other. Max and I, we're still friends.”

Sort of. Jared doesn't talk to his high school friends all that much these days. Most of them are off at college and they might get together when they all go home to see their folks at Christmas and thanksgiving, but that's about it. He should probably try a little harder to keep in touch, but they're all growing up and that usually means growing apart.

Jensen must sense the slight turn in Jared's mood because he grabs the TV Guide out of Jared's hand and tosses it on the floor before he crawls over top of him, pinning him in place. He works his way between Jared's legs and kisses his way up Jared's neck and says “No more talking,” and Jared wholeheartedly agrees.

***

Jensen's thought this over. The fucked up thing is that he's actually thought this over and this is the conclusion he's come to.

Jared hasn't been pestering him, not really. No, not at all. He's been hinting though, comments and looks here and there, ever since he first asked if he could watch him fuck Jeff.

And Jared's been good. Hasn't been acting crazy or jealous or like he wants to lock Jensen in a room to protect him. Jensen thinks a lot of it probably has to do with Jake not being around anymore which is probably seriously unhealthy, but he'll take what he can get. Jared really does have nothing to worry about. Jensen's not going anywhere.

Still, Jared is curious. Thinks it will give him peace of mind, bring them closer together and hey, he used to watch him with Jake all the time, so what's the difference?

There's a huge difference, but Jensen can't say that without making Jared even more anxious, so he strokes Jared's hip and sucks a deep purple bruise to the surface of Jared's neck and tells him, “Nothing. You're right, nothing.”

So yeah, Jensen's thought this through and he still finds himself here, standing next to Matt and Julie and Jared, watching Jeff's car pull up to the curb, flabbergasted at his own poor decision making.

Jensen walks over, sticks his head in the window and smiles.

“Get in,” Jeff orders and Jensen gathers his resolve. If he's going to well and truly fuck himself, he'll need courage.

“Sure thing,” Jensen answers, tapping at the car door with his thumb. “You mind if we have an audience today?”

Jeff’s eyebrow goes up but he smiles. Of course he doesn’t mind. He’s paid extra a couple of times for the pleasure of having someone watch him beat Jensen’s ass red. That’s how Misha knows first hand about Jeff's fucked up daddy kink.

“How much is that gonna cost me?” Jeff asks, not that he cares. Jeff over pays him every single time anyway. The guy can afford it and it makes him feel good, like he’s helping Jensen out and Jensen sure as fuck isn’t gonna turn it down.

Jensen laughs and shakes his head. “On the house, man. You’d be doin’ me a favour. Jared’s been… curious.”

“Jared?” Jeff asks and his eyes widen. “Your boyfriend, Jared? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“No,” Jensen answers. He’s actually pretty certain it’s not a good idea, but. “I think he’s starting to get a little insecure and he’s got it in his head that if he sees for himself that I'm not going to fall in love and run off to Canada to get hitched, he'll feel better.”

Jeff shakes his head, like he believes that about as much as Jensen does, but he nods in assent and Jensen waves Jared over. Jensen gets in the front seat, where Jeff likes him and Jared climbs in the back.

They go to a hotel. Jeff always takes him to a hotel, doesn't like to fuck where Jensen fucks other people. It's possessive, a little bit, but it's not delusional. Jeff asked Jensen to run away with him, once. Jensen turned him down and Jeff accepted that, so he's not worried Jeff's going to go all Fatal Attraction on him. And hey, the rooms are usually pretty nice and Jensen gets to spend the night there if he feels like it, order room service and pay-per-view and raid the mini bar on Jeff's tab.

It's a pretty sweet deal.

Once they're there Jensen makes short work of stripping, helping Jeff out of his own clothes while Jared sits in the chair in the corner and watches. Watches while Jeff sucks on Jensen's nipples and jerks his cock until it's hard, watches while he folds Jensen onto his hands and knees on the bed, roots through his duffle bag for his paddle.

It's smooth wood, similar in size and shape to a ping-pong paddle but it lacks the rough face and it's prettier. Jensen's used to it by now, so it's not that difficult for him to relax, drop his shoulders and scream for daddy to do it harder, spank his boy. He breathes through it when the wood collides with his flesh, again and again until his skin is red and raw and his blood feels like fire through his veins.

He's soft again, his eyes are watering from the pain but the second his breath hitches in just the wrong way, Jeff stops. He throws the paddle aside and folds himself over Jensen, wraps his arms around Jensen's middles and kisses the back of his neck.

Jeff likes him beaten, but not broken.

“You ready, baby boy?” Jeff asks? “You had enough of the paddle? Ready for daddy's cock?”

“Please,” Jensen grunts. It's rough and shaky, spit out through gritted teeth and Jeff chuckles as he slips the condom on and slides inside.

It's the same as it always is. The spanking was the same and so is the fucking and he asks for daddy to fuck him deeper and faster, to make him scream, make him feel it. Jeff complies, fucks until the cheeks of Jensen's ass feel like they've been flayed, skin torn off from the force and the friction. Inside it's not so bad. Jeff's cock feels kind of good and after a while Jensen's hard again, like he's supposed to be.

He feels Jeff's thrusts change, just a little and he knows what that means, knows his cue.

“Please daddy,” Jensen begs, hands clenching tight in the sheet while he hangs his head low between his shoulders and balances on shaky arms. “Please let me come.”

He hears Jared shift on the chair, hears the way his breathing changes and he has to fight not to look.

“Mmmm,” Jeff hums behind him, pitches his hips so his cock slides against Jensen’s prostate and he lets out a high-pitched cry. It's only half-fake. “Not just yet, baby boy. You know the rules. Daddy first.”

“God. Please, Daddy. Feels so fucking good.” His eyes are screwed shut tight and his breath is shallow and he’s only mostly acting. Jeff is a great fuck and Jensen really does get off with him (unlike most of the guys he’s with where he has to pretend), though he could seriously do without all the ‘Daddy’ bullshit. Jeff’s the one with the money though, so he makes the rules.

“That’s it baby boy,” Jeff coos and Jensen’s glad his eyes are shut. That way when he rolls them Jeff won’t be able to see in the mirror. Fuck. Baby boy. That’s even worse than Daddy. “Just a little longer. Doing so well. Daddy’s almost there.”

Jensen gives a sharp twist of his hips and Jeff cries out, starts to pump faster.

“Oh yeah. Such a good boy. Daddy’s so close. Where do you want it? Want Daddy to come inside you? Want to feel Daddy’s huge cock let loose inside that tight little hole?”

Jensen barely holds back a laugh because his hole is neither tight nor little, not after Jeff’s finished with it anyway and besides, talk like that always sounds so stupid to him. He takes a second to make sure his voice is going to sound appropriately strained and desperate before he shakes his head tightly and answers.

“Face,” he says lifting his head and catching Jeff’s eyes in the mirror. He sees Jared’s reflection too, off to the side where he sits and watches, and he's watching Jensen's face, not anything else. Jensen can’t really read his expression, but that’s okay. They can talk about this later, when Jensen’s not on the clock. “Get my face, Daddy.”

Jeff groans and quickly pulls out, strips the condom off and hauls Jensen around so that he’s kneeling on the floor between Jeff’s spread thighs.

“Anything for you, baby boy,” Jeff whispers. “Such a good boy deserves a treat.” He gives two or three fast pulls on his cock and his mouth falls open on a soft “Oh,” as he shoots his load. He cups the back of Jensen’s head to keep him in place as globs of slippery white come land across his face. Some on his lips, some over his forehead and into his hair. Some gets in his eye and it stings like a motherfucker but he just tries to blink it out. Jeff hates it when he breaks character right in the middle of things.

“Daddy,” Jensen whispers when he can open his eyes fully again, the come dripping down his skin, over his eyelashes. He thrusts his hips forward because he knows he’s not allowed to touch his cock, not at all, unless Jeff says so. Honestly, he’d be cool if Jeff just took off now without getting Jensen off at all, but Jeff likes for Jensen to have a good time, too and again, it’s his dime.

“Yeah, baby boy,” Jeff says and reaches across the bed to grab another condom from the box. He smiles as he tosses it at Jensen and then lies back, spreads his legs wider and hooks his hands under his knees, pulling them back to make his intentions clear. “Come on.”

Jensen carefully doesn’t raise a surprised eyebrow, just quickly opens up the condom and slides it down over his hard-on, giving it a few tugs as he stands. He’s not as close to coming as he pretended he was, but he tries to get himself to that edge as quickly as possible. Jeff likes it when he’s desperate.

He pushes Jeff up the bed a little as he settles over him, makes enough room so he can climb on, too. He knees at the edge so he can get enough grip and he pushes inside Jeff in one hard thrust. Jeff can take it. He loves it. Especially when he’s all boneless and sated from a spectacular orgasm.

Jensen just hadn’t expected Jeff to want this with someone else watching. He loves taking cock as much as the next queer but he’s a bossy bastard and Jensen’s surprised that he wants to lie back and take it with Jared sitting five feet away. Maybe he’s showing off. In any case, Jensen’s glad that he’s not hiding anything from Jared. That was the whole point of this voyeuristic bullshit in the first place and maybe Jeff gets that. Jensen makes a note to say ‘thanks’ later.

“Yeah!” Jeff growls, his face scrunching up as he grinds his teeth. He's not going to get hard again, not for an hour, at least and even then, he doesn't like to. He just likes to ride out the afterglow with a hard dick inside him. Hey, Jensen can relate. “Harder, baby boy. Fuck Daddy good.”

Jensen does as he’s told, wraps his hands around Jeff’s shoulders for leverage and ploughs into him as hard as he can. His face is buried in Jeff’s shoulder and he’s grunting, trying to ignore the disgusting slide of come and sweat over his skin, still in his eye and down his chin now, while Jeff cants his hips up, taking Jensen in deeper.

“Mmm, that’s it baby,” Jeff babbles, wraps his legs around Jensen’s waist and rubs his hands soothingly over his back. He's enjoying himself, there's no doubt about that but what he really wants is to see Jensen fall apart. “Give it to me. Make Daddy scream.”

Jensen clenches his teeth harder and snaps his hips forward, driving himself closer to the edge. His dull fingernails dig into Jeff’s skin as he pulls back and slams in and Jeff does scream. Jensen has to admit, it’s pretty hot. It’s loud, low and manly and it sounds more like Jeff’s just been stabbed in the shoulder than like he’s getting fucked hard and loving it.

“Please,” Jensen begs again, because this time he really is close. Plus, he kind of wants to get this over with so him and Jared can talk this fucked up shit out.

“Do it, baby,” Jeff says, hand slapping down on Jensen’s reddened ass and pulling him in closer. “Come. Fill Daddy up.”

Jensen hisses at the sting, takes a deep breath, then holds it as he feels his orgasm creep up on him. It slams through him and he lets out a hitched cry as he fills up the condom, like he's told.

“Good boy,” Jeff praises, as Jensen goes limp on top of him. Jeff unwraps his legs from around Jensen’s waist and lets them fall to the bed, bottom half of his calves and his feet dangling off the side. “Such a good boy for Daddy.”

It’s not long, just a few seconds later when Jensen feels Jeff’s body shaking softly underneath him in a quiet laugh. He kisses Jensen’s temple as he gently pushes at his shoulder and Jensen goes with it and climbs off him. He can be lazy on his own time, Jeff told him once.

“Thanks Jensen,” Jeff says with a smile and just like that, they’re done.

Jensen lets out a breath of relief and scrambles across the bed to grab the box of tissues from the table. He doesn’t even bother to take the condom off yet, just lets his shrinking cock slip away from the latex while it starts to fall off under the weight of his come as he scrubs at his face.

“Fuck,” Jensen curses when he’s relatively clean, but still dabbing at the corner of his right eye.

“You okay?” Jeff asks, and when Jensen cracks his good eye open and looks over at him he’s already got his pants on and he’s working on his shirt.

“You got jizz in my eye, asshole,” Jensen scowls, but there’s not much heat behind it. He pushes his eyelid up a little and blots the tissue across the underside. It still stings like a bitch, but it’s getting better. “I think my contacts are fucked.”

Jeff just snorts a little and shakes his head as he heads to the washroom. “If you’re fishing for a bigger pay day, forget it.”

Jensen wants to answer that Jeff’s full of shit, because he’ll give Jensen pretty much anything he wants, but he’s cut off when the faucet turns on in the bathroom and he knows Jeff can’t hear him.

He turns around and looks at Jared for the first time since he started to take his clothes off and offers his boyfriend a shy smile. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower. I’ll be right back.”

Jared just nods at him, his face a little pale. Jensen worries again that this was a stupid fucking idea, but Jared’s not yelling at him and he hasn’t left yet, so Jensen just smiles again, tries for comforting but lands somewhere in the vicinity of apologetic and he goes into the bathroom, where Jeff's washing his face.

“No shower?” he asks.

“You offering?” Jeff returns, smirking. “Nah, I've got to get home. I like my own soaps and my lotions, and my new shower head is too good to me. I can't cheat.”

“Dude, if there was ever a question that you were gay...”

“Hey, how's your ass feelin'?” Jeff teases back, snapping the towel out to hit against Jensen's raw flesh.

“Son of a bitch!” he shouts, hopping out of the way a second too late, from where he'd been bent over the tub to turn the shower on. “Not cool. Plus, my eye's still bloodshot. I want an extra grand.”

Jeff snickers, but he pulls out his wallet and counts out four thousand dollars, leaves it on the bathroom counter and kisses Jensen's forehead before he grabs his coat and slips on his shoes.

“Take care, Jensen. See you soon, alright?” he calls, with the hotel room door half open.

Jensen doesn't even want to think about what's going on right now between Jared and Jeff, what kind of looks they're exchanging, what Jared's thinking about all this.

“Yeah, see ya!” Jensen calls back. He's already in the shower so he has to shout to be heard over the spray. He washes himself, deep and thorough and then he does it all again. One more time, after that because Jared is waiting outside for him and it's not like he feels guilty, like he has to wash what he did off himself, but he really doesn't want to be covered in some other guy's spunk when he talks with his boyfriend.

He dries off and dresses and when he makes his way back into the room, Jared's still sitting there in that chair. He's looking at the bed, at the mess of tangled sheets with his eyes unfocused but when Jensen calls his name he starts, blinks and turns his head.

“Hey.” That's it, just 'hey'. Jensen doesn't know what he expected, but it was probably a little more than 'hey'.

“You okay?” he asks. “All that stuff... You know that was all fake, right?”

“God, I hope so!” Jared practically squeals. And okay, at least it's a reaction. “Daddy? Baby boy? He doesn't have kids, does he? Because that's just... wrong.”

Jensen throws his head back and laughs out loud. It takes a minute for him to be able to straighten his face out again, cheeks sore from grinning and he wants to take Jared's hand, but he doesn't know if he's allowed.

“It's a pretty common kink, Jared. Pretty tame, too.”

“So... with other people, you do... other stuff? Weirder stuff?” Jared sounds a little bit judgemental, a little bit jealous. Not in any way like seeing it for himself has made anything better.

Fucking fuck. Jensen knew it.

“Don't, Jared. You saw for yourself, like you wanted, but that's it. We're not gonna do this every time and you've got to stop asking about it.”

“No, I... You're right. I don't even really care about that. It's just. The things Jeff wanted you to do, the way you were with him... It didn't seem like you, not the you I know.”

“That's because that was work. What you just saw, that was work, it wasn't really me. You get that, don't you?”

“I do,” Jared says. “I know. But the way you touched him. It was like you were... I don't know. Super into him. You don't... you don't touch me that way.”

“Jared, don't. Nobody touches anybody that way, not for real. Nobody is actually that needy or desperate. I sell a fantasy, that's all. You're the one I touch, for real. You get that, right? I mean... that's what this was all about.”

“No, yeah,” Jared says, contradicting himself. “No, I get it. I just don't... I think I'm just gonna go home.”

Jensen knows better than to stop him.

“I'll walk you,” he offers.

“No, that's okay. I think I need some time to process.”

Jensen nods, because Jared's entitled to his space, but fuck fuck fuck, he knew this was a stupid idea.

Jensen calls him a cab, gives him enough money to cover it and asks Jared to please, please call him tomorrow.

Part 5