RockStarPeach

Title: Glittering Prizes and Endless Compromises
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/Others (both graphic and implied, include: Jensen/Misha, Jensen/JDM, Jensen/Jake Abel, Jensen/Mark Sheppard, Jensen/Lauren Cohan)
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 45000
Summary: Jared's in love with Jensen. The only problem is, Jensen's a hooker and Jared can't really afford him. It's a good thing he's so darn cute, because despite Jared's meagre finances, they strike up a business relationship that was only ever an excuse to become more than that. They're head over heels for each other, so it should be their happily ever after, right? Turns out it's harder than Jared expected, having a hooker for a boyfriend. Jensen on the other hand, saw this coming.

MASTERPOST





It’s hard. Harder than Jared thought it would be, watching Jensen work, watching him disappear with so many other men while Jared's saving up every last penny for a few stolen moments. It's harder than it should be when Jeff shows up – the man with the Cadillac and the paddle who's greeted with Jensen's smiling face. It's even harder still when Jensen doesn't go off with anybody at all, when he walks away from the corner with Misha, passing a cigarette back and forth, shoulders brushing.

Jared takes a deep breath, Jared always takes a deep breath and he reminds himself that this is Jensen's job. Jensen needs the money and this is all just his job. Jared is different, even if Jensen won't say so out loud.

***

It's Wednesday again. Jared watches, because it's Wednesday.

Jared watches and Jensen puts on a show, pets the kid’s head, nice and gentle until the kid gets impatient, hands on Jensen’s hips encouraging him to move faster and harder and Jensen does it. Of course he does. It’s his job, to give some seventeen year old closet case what he wants. And what he wants is to be down on his knees in a dirty alley, choking on cock.

At least, Jared assumes that's what he wants. Jared just assumes he's a seventeen year old closet case, too, but they look like pretty fair assumptions. The kid asks Jensen for the same thing every single week, something he can't get from the pretty little girls at school. He asks Jensen to fuck his face. That's it, only ever that.

So Jensen fucks his face. Usually slow, easy but this time it's hard and fast and his eyes never leave Jared’s and Jared’s hands never leave his pants. He usually comes like that, when Jensen does, and Jared can almost imagine that it’s him there in front of Jensen, swallowing down his orgasm or getting a face full of spunk, depending on Jensen’s mood.

It’s not though. Jared's never had the privilege. In all their time together, Jensen's never let Jared do that. It grates that this guy gets that, that he gets to pleasure Jensen that way, when Jared knows that most of the time, most of the time with him even, it's Jensen doing the pleasuring.

And they kiss, when it's over.

They didn't used to. Six months ago, back when Jared first stumbled over this show the kid didn't even try. But soon after he started looking for it and soon after that Jensen started to allow it. Now, he turns his head into it, expects it and smiles when it's finished.

The kid leaves, Jensen adjusts his pants. He looks up to Jared to share their customary wink, but Jared surprises them both by coming out the back door of the store. It's half closed in by boxes on the inside, trash cans on the outside but he weaves through them and marches right up to Jensen.

“What's his name?” he asks, handing Jensen a ten dollar bill.

“You know I can't tell you that. Not for a ten spot,” Jensen says, smiling even though Jared's eyebrows are narrowed and he's leaning menacingly into Jensen's space. Jensen is full of shit, Jared is well aware of that. He does care about confidentiality, but he's let things slip to Jared before. So has Misha, for that matter.

“I'm serious, Jensen,” Jared growls. He knows he's pushing it, knows he's asking for things he shouldn't ask for, but he can't help himself. He's jealous. Jealousy makes people do ugly things.

Jensen stills, then pushes Jared back with a hand on his chest and frowns while he tugs the wrinkles out of his shirt.

“So am I,” he says. “You can't just...” he breaks off and gestures between them and it's not like Jared can't fill in the blanks, but Jensen continues anyway. “You watching is bad enough. I shouldn't even let you do that, I should have picked a different place for this the first time I saw you looking. But Jared, you can't come crashing up to me like it's any of your business, asking for personal details about my clients.”

“Clients,” Jared snorts. “You like him.”

“Again, not any of your business,” Jensen grits out. “You want to have fun?” he asks, holding up the money Jared just gave him, “We'll have some fun. If not, you're kind of cramping my style. I don't know what your problem is lately, but you need to take a step back and get your head on straight about this. I like spending time with you, Jared, but I'm a hooker. And you're not my boyfriend.”

Jared tenses, puffs himself up ready for an argument but he looks at Jensen, poised to actually leave him there without another thought and the fight goes out of him.

He sighs and steps closer again, closes his eyes briefly.

“Sorry. You're right, sorry. I want... I want to blow you.”

“Like he did,” Jensen rolls his eyes and grabs Jared by the elbow, yanks him in so that he's pressed tight to Jensen's front. He kisses Jared, then.

It's slow and sweet, which is surprising, given the tense atmosphere. It's long, gentle at first and it grows in intensity, lots of tongue and teeth and wandering hands. Jensen has Jared pinned to the wall behind him and their chests are pressed together, Jensen's thigh shoved up between Jared's legs so he gets sweet, sweet pressure against his aching cock, but no friction. It's delicious, it's torture and it goes on for about half an hour, like they're high school kids making out in their parents' basement. By the time it's over Jared's so dizzy and awestruck that his entire body feels like jelly.

“Now go home,” Jensen says, stroking his thumb across Jared's cheek bone and Jared leans into it.

Jared can't really argue, because he's more than certain that make-out session used up his ten bucks and then some, but it went by way too fast, sent his head spinning and he needs more. This can't be all he gets of Jensen until he can save up a few more dollars. Fuck, Jared knows Jensen said he doesn't date, but he needs to try again, ask again. The money Jared pays him is next to nothing, just for appearances, really. They're practically dating already, he'll argue.

“Go home,” Jensen says, again. “What we just did? That's more than anybody else has ever gotten.”

Jared sighs, but he nods in agreement. Now's not the right time for that discussion. Jensen doesn't owe him anything, not yet so he does what Jensen says. He goes home, determined to get his head on straight.

***

It's another three weeks before Jared comes to him again. It's been strained when they've passed each other on the street, when Jared's stopped to say hello on the way to work or when Jensen's stopped into the store for a box of condoms.

Jensen's almost started to think that it was over between them, almost started to think that was for the best.

“Sorry,” Jared says, flagging Jensen down outside the video store. Jensen shouldn't be there. He has no reason to be there except that he's been hoping to catch a glimpse of Jared, watch his cheeks dimple and his hair fall over his eyes, even just through the window. “I was kind of strapped the past couple weeks.” He gives Jensen a twenty dollar bill, presses it against Jensen's palm, digs it in harder when he won't immediately take it. “And I was kind of a dick. You're right, whatever you do isn't my business. I'm sorry I crossed a line.”

Jensen steps back, he's quiet for a minute, considers the note in his hand before he slips it in his pocket. If Jared wants to forget all the weirdness and get back to normal, that's fine by Jensen. Jared says he's over it and while Jensen doesn't quite believe that, the last thing he wants to do is talk about it. He's more a man of action.

“Wanna head to my place?” he asks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that,” Jared smiles. He follows behind as Jensen grabs his hand and walks them home.

“I want to ride you,” Jared says, once they're inside the apartment. It's an interesting change, this version of Jared that knows what he wants and asks for it, straight up. Jensen likes it, but he also likes the shy version, the one who'd taken months to work up the courage to talk to him.

But Jensen lets Jared have what he wants, he takes his pants off and he sits down on the ratty old sofa and he rolls on a condom and he lets Jared sit in his lap, lets him sink down on Jensen's cock and lets him get them both off.

It's bliss, pure and simple, just like every other time with Jared. Jensen fucks a lot. He fucks a lot of people and he fucks them often and he usually has a reasonably alright time. He wouldn't still be working this gig if he didn't. But with Jared it's... it's like sex used to be, before he became a prostitute.

It's warm and it's perfect when Jared leans down and kisses him, takes Jensen's lips against his own and Jensen never wants it to end. Here, like this, with Jared bouncing up and down on his cock is the only thing he ever wants to feel, ever again. It's stupid, stupid to feel this way but he can't help it. He wants Jared, wants him for real, without any of this 'pretending it's business' bullshit. He's completely and utterly screwed.

Jared cups his hand around the back of Jensen's neck, squeezes and rolls his hips and then he's whimpering, moaning, they both are. Jensen fills the condom and Jared comes all over Jensen's belly. He doesn't move after, doesn't leave Jensen's lap, just curls up against his chest with a loose fist resting over Jensen's heart.

Jensen can't lie to himself any more. He can't lie to himself and more importantly he can't lie to Jared. He deserves more than what Jensen's been letting him have. He can't give Jared everything he wants; that's impossible. He can give him one thing, though. Something Jensen's been thinking about since the first time Jared put money in his hand.

He moves his hands so they rest on Jared's hips, lifts him up and off and to the side. Jared makes an unhappy sound of protest, grabbing at Jensen as he stands, but Jensen smiles down at him.

“Be right back,” he says, walking across the room to where the bed is. He opens the bottom drawer on the bedside table, takes out the cash that's been piling up for the past few months. He hasn't spent any of it, not a penny. He doesn't need to; it's chump change to Jensen, but to Jared it means groceries and electricity and calling home to talk to his mother.

He sits back down next to Jared and presses the scattered bills into Jared's palm.

“What's this?” Jared asks, frowning.

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like...” Jared spreads the bills out, counts them in his head. Two hundred, three hundred, forty-seven.... “Looks like money.”

“Your money,” Jensen tells him. “All the money you ever paid me. Take it.”

“Jensen, I can't take this,” Jared protests. “I really, really can't take this. I'm not...” He hiccups a breath and clenches his teeth, squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them. “I'm not done with you. You can't... Please don't tell me this is over. I want you, still.”

“And you can have me,” Jensen tells him. “That's not what this is, I'm not...” Breaking up with you sounds both epically stupid and inappropriate. “I'm not ending this. But please, take your money back.”

“No. You need it. It's way less than I should be giving you, but... you need it. Jensen, the only thing you have in your kitchen cupboard is a can of Pringles and a box of condoms. Go... buy a loaf of bread, or something!”

Jensen smiles at that. Jared's got a very distorted view of what Jensen's life actually looks like. Jared still thinks this is where Jensen lives. He should tell him. He will tell him, but not right now. “I do alright,” he settles on. “Seriously, Jared. Take your money. We both know that's never what this was really about.”

Jared stares down at the cash for a moment and then a small smile breaks across his face as he grabs his pants off the floor and stuffs most of the money into one of the pockets.

“Here,” he says, handing some of it back.

“What...? No.”

“It's just some of it,” Jared says.

“I don't want any of it. It's never been about the money.”

“Maybe not,” Jared tells him. “But please. I want you to keep this. It's eighty-three bucks. It's the first eighty-three bucks. If it wasn't for that, we'd never have started. So that's... yours.”

Jensen smiles and pulls Jared in, nips slightly at his lower lip.

“Does this mean we're dating?” he asks, teasingly, when Jensen lets him go.

Jensen scowls, but it's only for show.

“I don't date.”

“Right,” Jared says, still smiling. “Sweetie.”

“Don't,” Jensen warns, but Jared just keeps smiling at him.

“Sorry. Honey.”

“Jared...” He hates pet names, he really does, but Jared's smile is infectious, always has been.

“Okay, okay,” Jared relents. He takes Jensen's hand and stands, giving it a tug. “Let's go to bed.”

Jensen stands and kisses Jared. “Yes,” he answers. “God, I'm beat.” Emotional vulnerability never used to be so exhausting. “You want some water?”

Jared nods and lets go of Jensen's hand, so he can walk to the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Jared says, when Jensen passes him a glass. “Pookie bear.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, but doesn't comment.

Yup. Entirely and completely fucked.

***

“No, mom,” Jared says into the receiver. “Yes, I... Yes, I know. I will. I am. I love you, too.”

He chuckles and puts the receiver back down. Jared loves his mom, he really does, but she's crazy overprotective. She actually cried when he left home six months ago, threw her arms around Jared's shoulders, even though she's the one that told him to go. She hugged him tight and wept like he was going off to war instead of just two towns over. Twenty-eight blocks from where his big sister and brother-in-law live.

She'd wanted him to stay home though, go to college and football games and get a job as a city planner or an architect. And he still might, but he'd needed a change, even for just a little while. He'd wanted some space, some adventure, an opportunity to find himself a little. Still, he's got family just down the road to fall back on and maybe when he gets tired enough of canned tuna and ramen, he'll throw in the towel, go back home.

Maybe, he thinks but then he thinks of Jensen and thinks maybe not.

“Jared!” his sister Beth calls, from the other room. “You done yappin' to mom yet? Supper's ready.”

“Yeah, coming,” he answers.

Supper is meatloaf and mashed potatoes and green beans, not fancy but it's damn delicious. Jared eats everything on his plate, has seconds and takes some home with him, to heat up tomorrow. He swipes a bottle of vodka from her cupboard before he leaves and she lets him, even as she tuts and shakes her head, because he's only nineteen years old.

When he gets home that night he swings by the store to see if Jensen's on the corner. He's not and Jared's a little disappointed but he's not surprised. It's still relatively early so he calls Chad over and they drink the entire bottle of vodka and fall asleep on the floor.

It's possible Jared goes into a little too much detail at some point, about Jensen's fingers and his lips and the things he can do with them. It's also possible Chad punches him in the arm and runs to the bathroom to throw up because he doesn't 'need to hear shit like that about those parts of your body, man, gross'.

Whatever. Jared's in love and he doesn't care what Chad thinks.

***

“See you later,” Jensen says, leaning across the gear shift to press a kiss to Jeff's lips.

Jeff's eyes smoulder, he looks like he wants to pull Jensen back in, open his mouth wide and eat him alive, but instead he swipes his thumb over Jensen's bottom lip, wiping away a tiny streak of saliva.

“Oh, hey, we still on for Sunday?” Jensen's been looking forward to it. He finally dug his old baseball glove out of his folks' basement last month. He hasn't played in years and he's missed it. He'd been a little surprised when Jeff invited him to play with his beer league team on the weekend, but Jensen accepted anyway.

“Count on it,” Jeff says. “Oh, and wear tight pants. Just because it's not play time, doesn't mean I don't want a nice view.” He smacks Jensen's ass as he's getting out of the car and Jensen jumps, turns around and scowls.

“Watch it, asshole,” He tells him. “I'm still a little raw.”

“I know,” Jeff winks and he drives away as soon as Jensen slams the door shut.

Jensen snorts as he walks back up to the corner, shaking his head and wincing a little as his jeans chafe against the reddened skin of his upper thighs. Jeff's a pretty okay guy, Jensen really does like him and he's actually good in bed. Jensen doesn't have to pretend with him as much as he does with some of the others but Jensen could seriously do without the paddle.

Oh well. Jeff pays him enough that he could probably take the rest of the week off, if he really wanted to.

“Have a good time?” Misha asks, when he walks to where him and Matt and Julie are standing. Misha smacks him on the ass, too and laughs when Jensen sucks in a sharp breath.

“Prick,” Jensen says, elbowing him in the ribs. “Some of us actually need to go out and make money. Speaking of which, do you even work here, anymore?”

He's joking, mostly, but the fact is, Misha doesn't work all that often. He hangs out on the corner with Jensen a lot of the time, but he very rarely takes anybody home to fuck them. Steve, the Chinese delivery guy and DJ (Jensen doesn't really know what DJ does, but he's always on his Blackberry and he's always got cash) are two of Misha's regulars, but Jensen hasn't seen him take on a client other than those two in a damn long time.

Which makes sense, Jensen supposes. He's been doing this almost two years. He's probably bored.

“Hey,” Matt butts in, nodding to where Jeff had just driven off. “If you ever want me to take him off your hands...”

“You wish,” Jensen says and Matt 'hmm's dreamily. Jeff is handsome and wealthy. They'd all wanted a piece of him when he first starting coming by, but he picked Jensen and Jensen doesn't plan on letting his best paying client get away, not while he's still working the street.

“He into girls, too?” Julie asks.

“Vultures,” Jensen grumbles.

It's still pretty early, but Jared's working tonight, Jensen saw him. He waved and smiled on his way into the store and Jensen smiled back briefly before he started flirting with a john who was clearly there to pick up Genevieve.

Jensen's not proud of it, but he's not really ready to face Jared at the moment. He's more than a little freaked out by what's been going on, by what happened last time, especially. He's getting attached. That's the last thing he needs right now.

So he takes the coward’s way out and tells them, “I think I'm gonna take off.”

“I'll come with,” Misha says.

“Sounds good.” It does sound good. Some beer, some Wave Racer and some head sounds really fuckin' good.

They say their goodbyes and walk to the grocery store to get a cab, and Jensen doesn't look back to see if Jared's watching through the store window when they leave.

“Another?” Misha asks him, an hour later when they're parked in front of their television and on their fifth round of video games. He grabs a beer out of the fridge and waves it at Jensen.

“Thanks,” Jensen says and Misha tosses the bottle across the room, right into Jensen's raised hand.

“So,” Misha says, sitting back down. “You wanna blow me now, or..?”

“Best of nine,” Jensen says, even though he's already lost four in a row. All he's doing is putting off the inevitable, he knows, but his head's just not in the game tonight. It's stuck back on the corner, back at Star Convenience where Jared's selling beer and milk and scratch tickets and cigarettes. Where Jared's smiling at people and cleaning the windows and probably wondering where Jensen is.

Fuck. He knows Jared was never just business. He's always known that, they both have right from the beginning. It's why he gave Jared his money back. But now he's gone and said it out loud, now it's out there, now he can't take it back, can't pretend anymore.

Jared's more than just business but he doesn't know what Jared is exactly. He's still about ninety percent sure that starting a relationship right now is a bad, bad idea, but he's hoping he's wrong. After all, Jensen dated a hooker, for a while. And he was pretty okay with it.


“You're a hooker?” Jensen asks, screwing his face up and tilting his head to the side, like he looks at Misha from a different angle that would make any kind of sense at all. No joy. “But... you're loaded!”

It's their sixth date. They fucked for the first time on their second, and every time since. As far as Jensen's concerned they're exclusive.

Up until this point Jensen had been thinking that Misha was happily unemployed, living off his parents' generosity. They bought stock in Microsoft back in the day and it's payed off in spades. Now they spend their days travelling the world and sending Misha cheques and Misha mostly goofs off. Sure, he keeps himself busy enough. He has a part-time job, actually walks some neighbourhood dogs in the afternoons. That's how they met, after a particularly feisty German Shepherd under Misha's care bounded up to an unsuspecting Jensen at the dog park and tackled him to the ground.

Jensen doesn't have a dog, hasn't had one since he left his parents' house for college four years ago but he loves dogs, misses having one around. Going to the park makes him feel a little less lonely sometimes, when he's feeling down. He's just graduated, he's fifty grand in debt and he's got job prospects, sure but he doesn't want to work for a bank or a hotel chain or an electronics manufacturer. He wants his shop, the shop he's been dreaming about since he was a teenager. But that's going to cost even more money, money Jensen's pretty sure he's never going to manage to save.

But the dog park helps clear his head, lighten his mood, no matter what. Because come on – who could possibly be in a bad mood after hanging out with a dozen puppies? He usually makes some four-legged friends there, but Pixie was definitely more forward about it than most.

Jensen hadn't mind at all, really. Especially when Misha was very thorough, checking Jensen over for injuries afterwards and when he made up for it by taking Jensen out for the best pizza in town.

The point is, Misha doesn't just sit around eating Cheetos, he's got hobbies: he paints – he's actually really good at it – and he volunteers building houses. He goes out with his friends a lot – museums and movies and clubs – and apparently, he whores.

“I'm also a dog walker,” Misha points out. “I don't do it for the money. I don't keep the money.”

“Then why do you do it?” Because Jensen can't imagine any situation where he'd be willing to sell himself like that, especially if he didn't have to. Oddly, it's not a problem for him at the moment that Misha does, but maybe it will be when it sinks in a little.

“Honestly?”

Duh, Jensen thinks as he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, honestly. I'm not gonna make a scene and storm out or anything,” he says, “if that's what you're worried about. I just... I'm dating a hooker. That's a new one for me and I'd kind of like to... I don't know. Understand it?”

Misha looks surprised by that, like maybe he's had this conversation before and he was expecting a different outcome.

“At first, it was... uh...” He stops then and blushes, ducks his head shrugs a little before he looks back up at Jensen. He's embarrassed. After all the fucked up shit he's wanted Jensen to do to him in the bedroom the past two weeks, he's embarrassed to talk about this. That's kind of hilarious. “It was kind of an accident. The guy thought I was selling it and I just kind of went with it, because why not, right?”

Jensen snorts a laugh. He can think of a few reasons, but it doesn't surprise him at all that Misha just rolled with those punches.

“Anyway, I got off on it, got off on the idea. You know I like... Well, you know what I like, sometimes.”

Yeah, Misha likes to be used, sometimes. He likes to be bossed around, told what to do, held down and treated like a toy. He likes for Jensen to take his pleasure and leave Misha begging and needy and then maybe, if Misha's good, he likes for Jensen to let him come. Not that Jensen had complained, but mostly he likes it the regular way, with two active and equal participants.

“But you could get that from anybody,” Jensen points out. “Go to a gay club and point.”

“But this was real,” Misha tells him. “And I liked it, so I did it again. After a while, I... Well, now I still like it, sometimes, but mostly I like what I do for them. I don't pick up the douchebags anymore. The guys I see, they're lonely. They can't connect with someone for real, for whatever reason and I like to try to help. I'm a therapist and a fantasy, all rolled into one. I like feeling like I did good.”

“Sex therapy?” Jensen asks, quirking his lips. “Like a community service?”

Misha smiles back, and takes Jensen's hand.

“Something like that, yeah.”


“Nah, fuck it,” he says, changing his mind. He tosses his controller down on the coffee table, puts his beer down next to it. “Take your pants off.”

“Jensen...” Misha starts, makes no move to do as Jensen says. “Are you alright?”

He breathes out, long and slow, shakes off his ridiculous melancholy and puts on a smile.

“Yeah,” he says and finds that he means that. Yeah, he is alright. Nothing's really changed, now that he thinks about it. Jared knows what he is, knows what he does and knows that Jensen is very much not looking for a relationship. If Jared still wants to hang out sometimes, fuck sometimes, Jensen can do that.

It doesn't mean they're dating, it doesn't mean anything between them has to change.

Famous last words, he knows and it might all go to shit tomorrow or the next day or the day after, but right now things are good. He's not going to mope over something that hasn't happened yet.

“Yeah, I'm good. So, you gonna take it out, or what? Can't suck it through your jeans, man.”

Misha chuckles and pops the button on his fly.

Honestly, Jensen doesn't mind losing these bets as much as he pretends he does. He likes to give head, when he gets to do it his way, when there isn't somebody with a handful of cash and a long list of twisted kinks calling the shots.

Plus, it's Misha. It's pretty incredible, because it's Misha. Sex between them always has been, but lately, since Jensen started whoring, it's turned into a pale shadow of what it once was. They go through the motions these days and every single time Jensen is reminded of what they had, the relationship he thought would last through anything and then fell apart, crumbled at their feet under the barrage of insecurity and uncertainty.

No, he reminds himself as he pulls back to jerk Misha through his climax, he's ninety-nine percent sure that a relationship is a bad idea right now.

***

“So. What's good?” a voice asks, right into Jared's ear as he's putting away a handful of video tapes back on to the 'New Releases' shelf. He jumps forward a step and nearly drops the movies he's holding as he turns, smiling when he sees who it is. It's late Tuesday night, he hasn't even seen Jensen in days and he sure wasn't expecting a workplace visit. It's a pleasant surprise.

“Depends on what you're in the mood for,” Jared answers, teasing lilt to his voice as he leans in closer again.

“You guys have any porn here?” Jensen asks, completely straight-faced and Jared stammers and blushes. He looks around furtively, but nobody seems to have overheard him.

“Uh. No, no we... Um... there's an adult store around the corner, that...”

Jensen starts to smile, wider and wider the more Jared stammers until he realises that Jensen was joking.

“Relax,” he says. “I don't have a VCR, anyway.” Not at the shithole apartment he and Misha rent out to fuck in. “Seriously though, what time do you get outta here? You want to come over? I kind of... there's something I want to talk to you about. Tell you about, really.”

“Tell me about?” Jared asks, mind racing to a dozen different places, a hundred different things Jensen might say to him. Everything from 'I'm thinking of switching from Durex to Trojan' to 'I need you to help me hide a body'.

“It's nothing bad,” Jensen assures him. “It's about the apartment, actually. It's... So can you come by, or what? I just... wanted to see you.”

Wow, Jensen missed him. Jared's face lights up, he smiles so his dimples are showing and he ducks his head, trying to hide them.

“Sure, yeah. We close at midnight, clean-up and cash-out usually takes half an hour or so. I could be there, say... 12:45?”

“Sounds good,” Jensen says, then he surprises Jared for the second time that night.

He tilts his face up and presses a gentle kiss to Jared's lips, right there in the middle of the video store. Just because he can. They can do that, kiss each other, whenever they like now. Jensen doesn't have to wait for Jared to pay him, because they don't have a business relationship anymore, they have... something else.

“Cute shirt by the way,” Jensen tells him, with a wink. “I like the little collar. And the name tag.”

Jared can only nod after him and when the bell above the door rings, signalling Jensen's exit, Jared reaches up to touch the tips of his fingers to his lips, where they tingle from Jensen's kiss.

“So that was loverboy, huh?” Chad says, coming from nowhere and slapping Jared on the back.

Jared shouts and does indeed finally drop his armful of videos.

“Jesus!” he hisses. “Don't sneak up on people, man.”

Chad raises an eyebrow and stoops to help Jared pick up the movies. Saving Private Ryan, The Wedding Singer, The Truman Show and Blade. Jared's seen them all about half a dozen times each. They play the new releases on a loop on the store televisions when they come out. The only one Jared never got sick of was The Truman Show. It still makes him cry. Shut up.

“Dude, I called your name, twice.”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I was...”

“Drooling all over yourself? Yeah, I noticed.”

“Screw you.”

“Ah, come on. He's a pretty good-lookin' guy, I'll give you that. Still think you're asking for trouble, though.”

“Maybe,” he concedes, but Jared doesn't care. Right at this moment, Jared so very much doesn't care. He doesn't care because Jensen likes him, Jensen wants him to come over and it's not business, they're not even pretending anymore and Jared wants to jump, literally jump and hoot and call his folks and tell them he's getting married.

It's only after Chad takes the remaining videos out of his hand and smacks him on the arm that he realises he's zoned out and he wipes the ridiculous, glazed-over smile off his face.

“Huh?”

Chad rolls his eyes and gives him a shove toward the back room.

“Go,” he says. “Take off early. I'll cover for you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, sure. I've got a date with Alona on Friday, so you can repay the favour then.”

“Deal!” Jared says, sprinting off to the backroom to change.

He quickly grabs a bag of popcorn on his way out and he manages to catch Jensen before he's gotten too far.

“Hey, Jensen!” he calls, as he sees him start to round the corner that leads to his building. “Wait up!”

Jensen turns and frowns, but then he smiles as Jared jogs up to him. His hand moves forward, his fingertips touch the back of Jensen's hand. He wants to hold it, he does but it feels a little awkward when Jensen flinches slightly and he quickly draws back.

“Hey. Chad – uh, that's the guy I was working with tonight, my best friend actually – he's covering for me, so I took off early. That okay?”

“More than.” Jensen smiles and eases Jared forward with a gentle, barely-there hand pressed to his lower back. Jared feels instantly more relaxed, welcome and wanted as Jensen leads him home.

Misha's leaving the building when they get there, with a scrawny, dweeby-looking young man hanging all over him and Jared frowns over at Jensen, but Jensen just nods, greets with Misha with a passing 'Hey' and ushers Jared in through the door that's sandwiched between a Chinese restaurant and a tattoo parlour.

He hadn't noticed a stairway continuing up from where Jensen's apartment is, but there is a third floor to the building, so it's possible Jared just missed it.

Jared looks back, past Jensen to where Misha's alone now, and he looks at Jared like he knows something, like Jared's missing something and gives him a little wave. Jared nods shortly in response and follows Jensen up the stairs. He's still not Misha's biggest fan, but the animosity is lessening.

“Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge,” Jensen tells him when they're inside.

Jared does, pulls out a can of Pepsi and pops the top while Jensen starts to change the sheets on his bed.

That's... odd, Jared thinks. Why would he... Then it hits him. Does Misha...

“Dude! Does Misha use your place for... for work?” Oh God, he's been having sex with Jensen on a bed, a couch, a kitchen table where Misha... He shudders, makes a face like something smells bad. Yeah, that thing about disliking Misha less? Forget about that.

Jensen freezes, halfway through pulling up the top sheet and looks at Jared, eyes wide and bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“Uh, about that...” Jensen cringes. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and Jared's preparing himself for the worst, for Jensen to tell him that him and Misha are actually lovers and they live here together.

“What?!” he barks, after much too long a silence that doesn't actually last very long at all.

“That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I was going to tell you, before now. I planned on it, but... I don't know. It was never the right moment, I guess. And I felt like telling you would make this... us more real. I was kind of scared of that, before now.”

“Telling me what?”

“I don't live here,” Jensen breathes out, in a rush. “I can afford better than this, but I keep it – Misha and I, we keep it together – for work. We don't want johns knowing where we actually live and it's cheaper and easier than renting a hotel room every time, so...”

“So you guys both...” Jared breaks off and gestures feebly around the room. He doesn't even know what he wants to say to that.

“Uh... yes? I mean, sometimes. When I'm not here, he... I changed the sheets.”

Jared cracks a smile, small at first.

“I always change the sheets, after every...” Jensen pauses then, seems to think it through and decides that sentence doesn't need to be finished out loud. Jared's grateful and his smile grows. “I have a lot of sheets.”

Jared's smile falls, after a few seconds. Jensen lives somewhere else. He can afford not one, but two apartments.

“You're... not broke.”

Jensen snorts. “No. No, I'm really not. I'm sorry I mislead you, but I'm just so used to keeping all my personal details to myself. I... I do okay.”

“You can afford this place... and somewhere that you actually live?” It doesn't make sense. It doesn't. If Jensen has all this disposal income, what the fuck is he doing selling himself?

“I split it with Misha,” Jensen is quick to remind him. “But... yeah. It's a cost of living. It's money that I need to spend, to keep up what I do, so...” He shrugs again, his fingers playing over the frayed edges of the pockets of his jeans.

Jared hates that. He balls up his hands into fists at his sides and he looks down at the bed, the clean sheets and thinks about how Misha was fucking someone here just a few minutes ago and how Jensen is going to fuck someone here tomorrow and how he's going home later, home to somewhere nicer than this because he can afford it and Jared hates that.

Is he angry? Maybe. Hurt? Probably. Jensen's been hiding who he is, this whole time. Jared's been putting himself out there and Jensen's been hiding.

“It's a lie,” he says, stupidly.

“No...” Jensen says, frowning. “My real apartment is across town. I'll take you there, if...”

“No,” Jared cuts him off. “I don't mean... I mean. Your life. It's a lie. You act coy and meek, you put yourself on the line and make these guys think that you need them. You make me think... that you're desperate for the money, like you don't... don't have a choice, but.” He stops and takes a breath.

Jensen just looks at him, hand still clenching the corner of one pillow case.

“Everything you do with them is a lie.”

“I'm a hooker, Jared,” Jensen tells him. “Of course it is.”

“Everything you've done with me...” Jared can't finish that, doesn't want to think about how true it is. How everything he thought he knew about Jensen was wrong, false. Jensen gave that money back because he doesn't need it like Jared does, because he really doesn't need it. He's playing a part. He's acting, he's not some desperate, struggling waif, he's a conniving, devious, calculating entrepreneur. He sets his sights on people, people like Jared and he does whatever he has to to reel them in, to get whatever he can out of them.

Jared's been played, it suddenly strikes him. Well and truly played.

“Fuck you!”

“Whao!” Jensen says, hands up as he takes a step back. “Jared, calm down.”

“No. No, don't tell me to... You played me, you son of a bitch!”

Jensen's jaw drops a little and he looks at Jared he's got two heads.

“What? How? How do you think I played you?”

“It's all a lie!” Jared shouts, because apparently that needs repeating. “Everything I know about you is a lie!”

“It's not,” Jensen says, shaking his head. “Jared, I... I lie for work. I have to. Nobody wants to pay to hear all about how I've got another john coming in an hour and I'd like to get this over with so I can get home to watch the hockey game. They want to hear how much I need them, how amazing they are and yeah, a lot of them feel like big men when they can throw a little extra cash around. I take advantage.”

You took advantage of me Jared wants to say, but he doesn't. It's not really true, he knows that. He just feels like a fool because he let himself fall so hard for someone who really didn't return his feelings, at least at first.

“But I do need them, Jared. As much as I don't need any one in particular, I do need to keep my client base or I'd be out of a job. And I need my job. I need my rent and my groceries and my savings account.”

Fair enough, Jared thinks. He needs his jobs, too.

“And me?” Jared asks. “You lied to me, too. What did you get out of that?”

“It's my job,” Jensen tells him, helplessly. “I didn't... You came at me with money. I tried to treat you the same way I'd treat anyone else. But don't... please don't think that's all it was. You know better.”

Jared does, is the thing. He does and he's pissed as fuck anyway, because he thought he was special enough for Jensen not to want to treat him the same as everybody else. It's stupid, he knows that. Jensen's right, Jared payed him. Jared could have just asked him out on a date in the first place, but he didn't. He was afraid of rejection so he went with the sure thing: money. Of course Jensen wanted him at a distance.

Before now Jensen didn't really owe him any answers. And now... Now Jensen's telling him the truth. At least some of it.

“What else don't I know about you?” he asks. He's not really expecting Jensen to answer him. He's making a point, though.

“I wet the bed until I was six.”

Jared laughs then; he can't help it.

“Right,” Jensen says. His cheeks are turning a deep pink and he fumbles as he smooths the pillows down. “So... You wanna?”

Jared laughs harder.

“Wow. Where did your game go?” he wonders out loud, but honestly he likes it. It's nice to see Jensen bumbling a little, nice to know he's not always the perfect seducer Jared first met. Oh, he likes that Jensen as well, he fell for that Jensen in the first place but there's something about Jensen being a bit less than completely sure of his victory that makes this more real.

Jensen opens his mouth to answer, but when none immediately comes out, Jared takes pity on him.

“It's okay. I'm a sure thing.”

He strips his shirt off over his head, lets it fall to the floor at his feet. He starts to work on his pants as well, but Jensen stops him.

“No,” he says. “Wait. Let me.”

Jared stops with his fingers poised over his open button, pinched around the zipper. He doesn't pull it down, lets his hands fall to his sides and his breath catches, his heart beats double and a tingle starts in his toes and works it's way up to his belly button when Jensen crosses to him and gracefully falls to his knees.

Jensen takes over where Jared left off, slowly slides the zipper down so the teeth come apart, one by one and when that's finished he tugs gently, just enough so that Jared's pants slip down lower on his hips. Jensen leans in then, his hands slide up over the outside of Jared's covered thighs and they make their way past Jared's belt loops.

The first touch of Jensen's fingertips over the bare skin covering Jared's hipbones sends a jolt through him, sharp enough that he bucks and cries out, his cock growing harder, harder so the head swells and brushes up against the elastic waistband of his boxers. He's fast forgetting about why he was pissed at Jensen to begin with. Damn him.

Jensen chuckles at his feet and his fingers grip harder, pull Jared forward so he's ever so slightly off balance and he inches closer, brushes his nose against the soft skin of Jared's lower belly. Jared whimpers and his knees wobble and Jensen pulls back just enough to hook his thumbs around the waist of Jared's pants, his underwear and slip them down, over his hips and his ass and his legs, all the way to the ground.

Jared doesn't step out of them, Jensen doesn't let him. He's got his fingers digging into Jared's hips again, then back so the nails press into the soft flesh of Jared's ass and then Jensen opens his mouth, swallows Jared down all at once.

Jared keens, his hips slam forward and his hands scramble, grab at Jensen's short hair as if he'll be able to hold on, to keep from falling. Jensen rides out Jared's first two, three brutal thrusts like it's nothing at all, but Jared manages to calm himself, to slow and eventually still and when his hands have come to rest as well, draped over Jensen's shoulders, Jensen puts his considerable talents to work.

Jensen sucks, hard and then harder and then he eases up, pulls back and suckles at just the head. He dips back down again, brings a hand from Jared's hip to the underside, slides it back so his palm is cupping Jared's sac and his fingers trace further back, into his crack.

He swallows, swallows again and licks his way up the shaft, thumb pressing at the large vein on the underside and Jared's toes curl, his shoulders hunch and his mouth drops open. He's on the edge, right on the edge, but Jensen doesn't take him over, not yet. On and on it goes, minutes, hours, Jared has no idea until finally, finally Jensen opens his mouth wide, points the tip of Jared's aching, leaking erection so it's resting on his tongue and he jerks him, hand a pulsing fist around his shaft.

God. Fucking god it's one of the hottest things – no, the hottest thing – Jared has ever seen and then it's over, he's done. He's coming, hard, intense, like a shot through his groin and it's landing inside Jensen, on his tongue, the roof of his mouth and over his teeth.

Jared can't possibly stand up anymore, once it's finished. Hell, his knees give out during but Jensen holds him up so he can catch all of it, all of Jared's spunk in his mouth and then he gently lowers Jared to the floor. He helps him out of his jeans, pets the side of his face and lets him catch his breath.

“Fuck,” Jared pants. “That was... wow.”

Jensen gives him this look. This look that says 'I'm not finished with you, yet', but he doesn't talk, doesn't open his mouth and then he's lifting Jared up. Actually lifting him up and wow, Jensen's a lot stronger than Jared gave him credit for and then Jared's on the bed, face down with his knees bent and his ass in the air.

Jensen's hand is on his hip again, smooth fingers tracing the jut of bone and then there's a thumb between his ass cheeks, two and he's being pulled open. His cheeks are eased apart and then there's a blunt pressure at his hole.

“Jensen, what...” he starts, but he cuts off with a yelp and he jerks forward, away when the blunt pressure turns wet and he realises that's Jensen's tongue. Jensen's tongue is in his ass and it's wriggling around and... and wow, that's even wetter and it's his come. Jensen is pushing Jared's own come back inside him and it's gross, it should be disgusting but it feels so fucking good.

Nobody's ever done this for Jared before. He's never asked and nobody's offered and Jared was more than okay with that because nobody should have to do this. Nobody should have to taste what that tastes like, should put their face there. Nobody should be so up close and personal with that much of him except that it feels so good, better than the blow job even, almost.

He whimpers again when Jensen pets his flank, tongue digging deeper, making circles inside him and then out again, to slick up the rim.

“Easy,” Jensen commands and Jared's shoulders lose some of their tension. He tries to relax, tries to steady his breaths and Jensen's tongue just keeps on moving, thumbs joining in now to stretch him further.

Before Jared knows it he's pushing back, pushing his wide open ass right into Jensen's face and he groans, embarrassed and ducks his face into his arms.

“Relax, Jared,” Jensen tells him. “Nothing to be ashamed of, okay? I love you like this, love it when you get so crazy. And I'm gonna make you crazy, Jared. I'm gonna make you insane, play with your hole 'til you're hard again, 'til you're wet and sloppy and ready for me and then I'm gonna fuck you. Fuck you so hard, so long you go crazy all over again, fuck you 'til you're begging me to let you come.”

The noise Jared makes next is a wrecked, ruined, garbled mess of vowels and consonants, a pathetic, needy, whimpering moan and it only gets worse, better maybe when Jensen makes good on his promise.

Fuck, listening to Jensen talk like that does things to him and he's hard again before Jensen's even finished talking but he's got to hand it to Jensen, he can more than back it up. The next little while (again, he loses track of time) is a blur, Jensen inflicting pleasure after pleasure on him until Jared's being filled, stuffed so full (because Jensen's kind of huge, really) and Jensen's stroking Jared's cock in time.

Jensen whispers into his ear from behind, whispers about how good he feels, how hot and tight and perfect, and thank you.

Jensen thanks him for this and Jared whimpers, weak at first, then softer when Jensen moves just right.

“Please!” he whisper-shouts suddenly, when Jensen nails his prostate. Then softer again, “Please. Please.”

And then Jensen moves faster, thrusts faster inside and tilts his hips a little. His thumb strokes over the head of Jared's cock, he hits his prostate one more time and Jared's gone, coming again, this time into Jensen's fist, while Jensen roars behind him, bites down on Jared's shoulder and fills the condom.
Jensen gives him a few minutes, maybe takes them for himself, Jared isn't sure. Then Jensen is easing out and Jared feels the bed dip and shake as Jensen steps out of it. He'd call out for Jensen, tell him to stay, but he's too lazy, too fucked out to bother.

Besides, it's Jensen's apartment. It's not like he's going too far. Jared's eyes drift shut, he doesn't fall asleep, not quite but he jumps all the same when a warm washcloth touches between his legs, wipes him gently clean.

Jensen rolls him after, tucks Jared up underneath his arm and holds him, tight.

Jared must have been this happy, at some point in his life. He must have, but if that's true, he can't remember right now.

“Fuck, Jared, that was... I think I blacked out for a minute there. That was intense.”

“Mmmhmm,” Jared sleepily agrees and then he's quiet for a while, basking, enjoying that floating feeling, the steady pulse and tingle through his body that comes with bone-deep satisfaction.

“Hey, Jensen?” he asks, after a few more minutes. He asks, because he can't not, because he knows he feels it, he knows that it's real and he can't keep it inside anymore, even if this isn't the right time. But hell, just after spectacular sex is pretty much the right time for anything, isn't it? “Have you been in love before?”

Jensen pulls back to look at him, answers honestly. “Sure. Couple of times.’

Jared’s eyes widen. He doesn't know why he's surprised. There's no reason Jensen shouldn't have been, but Jensen doesn't date, he told Jared himself and Jared had just kind of figured that hookers don't get attached. Stupid thing to think, he knows, because look at the two of them.

Plus, he has no reason to think that Jensen's always been a hooker. He sure as hell wasn't born that way. He'd probably fallen in love before all this. High school, maybe, or someone he'd met at the grocery store. The cute guy who works in canned goods, Jared thinks. He's young and sweet and he blushes when Jared asks about the tomato sauce that's on special while he points to the stack at the back of the store.

Tall and awkward and adorable without even trying.

He's just Jensen's type.

“What, you haven’t?” Jensen looks just as surprised as Jared.

Jared smiles and he can feel his face heat up even before he answers, but he has to answer. That's kind of the whole point.

“Not 'til I saw you.”

Jensen laughs, full and throaty and it wraps around Jared like Jensen's arms, fills him up, makes him warm.

“I’m gonna have to be careful, Jared,” Jensen tells him and though he’s still smiling, Jared has the feeling he’s being entirely serious. “Or I’ll be in love with you right back before I know it.”

***

Jensen wakes up early, a week later.

He hates waking up early, thinks it's inhuman, cruel and unusual punishment to have to open his eyes before ten, but his shift at Trader Joe's starts at half past seven. Fuck, he hates Ty (not really, but at ass o'clock in the morning he pretty much hates everybody) and he hates getting up early. He's not a big fan of stacking produce, either, of counting boxes that come off trucks and telling customer's 'sorry, it's the hothouse tomatoes that are on sale this week, not the vine ripened ones'.

No, he'd much rather stick to fucking for a living at the moment, but one or two shifts a month won't kill him, he figures. He's had the job since his second year in university and he still needs it, even if he doesn't want it. And Ty appreciates it, too.

It's nowhere near as good as the job Jensen used to have back in high school, clipping nails and combing fur up into cute little bows on the tops of yorkies' heads at the Happy Tails Dog Spa back where his folks live, but it's a mutually benificial arrangement. Jensen shows up on short notice when someone calls in sick and Ty Olsson: Store Manager is always happy to take a call when a potential future employer or landlord or educational facility asks about Jensen Ackles. He's happy to say 'Yeah, Jensen? One of our best, He works fifty hours a week, responsible, dedicated, shows up on time every time. Couldn't live without him.'

Ty's great. He hooks Jensen up with company health insurance, too. Friends in mediocre places, is what Jensen has. Shit, he really misses those dogs. One day, he thinks.

Work's really not so bad, once he gets there. It never is. He's downed three cups of coffee already and he only has to put in about four hours before Ty tells him he found someone to cover the second half of the shift that Kenny called in sick for in the first place.

Which means he gets to go back home and sleep for a few hours before he heads out tonight.

Misha's asleep on the couch when he gets there, the lazy asshole and Jensen smacks him in the face with a throw pillow on the way to his room.

Part 3