RockStarPeach

Uh... Okay, here it is.  The final final chapter.  I'm kind of nervous about it, hope it's good enough, and sad to see it go.

It's been a blast, and thank you everyone for all the feedback, even if most of you were pissed off most of the time!  But I'm really hoping this is a satisfactory ending, while I realise that probably not everyone will be happy about it.




Title:  Helping Hand

Pairing:  Lindsey/Wes, Spike/Wes

Rating:  Adult

Summary:  Completely AU.  College roommates Lindsey and Wes have to work together to help Lindsey with Wrestling practice.  Then Spike shows up and Wesley gets distracted...

And since it's the end, I want to share again all the manips/banners that my darlings angelstoy and zoesmith have been generous enough to share with us all, that have inspired this story and pushed it along. If I've forgotten any, please let me know!













Also thanks to ash_carpenter for the idea that launched this whole thing, and to stangelove for sending me a very naughty wrestling video that I wish I could share with you, but I can't post videos here.  If you want to see it IM or email me, I'll send it along.


Previous Parts
 

 

Part 12 b

A couple of days after bowling night, Charles called and invited Wesley out for a drink with his new girlfriend.  Anne wasn’t exactly new new, not to their little circle of friends, but she was more a friend of a friend, and she and Charles had only gotten together over the past couple of weeks.

Now that they were official, Charles wanted Wesley to get to know her better, and Wesley looked forward to it, even as he hoped that soon he would be able to do the same with Lindsey.  He felt like Lindsey was a damn good catch and wanted to show him off, wanted to be able to tell Charles, ‘Sure, I’d love to come over.  Do you mind if I bring my boyfriend?’. 

He was willing to wait until Lindsey was ready, and he really was appreciating all of his efforts thus far.  He knew it must be hard for the other man, and he felt so guilty every time he made Lindsey feel bad about their secret, but it hurt that Lindsey wanted to keep him hidden.

Of course Wesley asked Lindsey to tag along that night; they were always doing that these days and it seemed second nature at this point for them to make most of their plans together.  As the four of them sat together in the frat house living room, drinking beer and playing euchre and chit chatting about random things, Wesley made a decision.

He waited for a sufficient lull in the conversation and as he took his turn shuffling and began to deal, he blurted, seemingly out of nowhere, “I’m bisexual.”

He continued to deal out the hands and didn’t even pause in flipping up the last card on the pile in front of him as Anne spluttered and squeaked, “What?”

“I’m bisexual,” he repeated casually, picking up his cards and glancing down at the upturned one on the table.  “I’ve been seeing someone.  A boy.  But it didn’t work out.”  He decided it was probably in good taste not to mention that he’d been seeing two boys, and he was careful not to look at Lindsey; it wasn’t really fair to ‘out’ his intended before he was ready, after all.

Charles barely even glanced at him, not bothering to look up from his hand of cards.  He and Lindsey were only two points away from winning, and Wesley’s statement wasn’t really all that big a deal.  Once he had adjusted his cards into a workable order he picked up his bottle of beer and took a sip.  “Cool,” he said with a small shrug, and that, apparently was that.

Wesley looked at Lindsey then, over his cards, and raised a challenging eyebrow.  The meaning was clear.  See, it’s just that easy.

 

***

 

But it wasn’t that easy.  Not for Lindsey.  He thought about what Wesley said; that Angel already knew about them, and that should have made it easy to come clean, but he was still hesitant to take that final plunge.  He knew he couldn’t do it.  Not like Wesley had, anyway.  Just coming right out and saying to his best friend that he liked to take it up the ass was not something he could imagine doing, in any kind of bizarro world.  Of course, those weren’t Wesley’s exact words, but the point was the same.

Still, he really did need to make more of an effort on this, because he was really starting to miss Wes, even though they spent most of every day together, and indulged in the occasional innocent grope.  He wanted more.  He wanted to be able to touch him, kiss him, make love to him and sleep next to him. 

And it wasn’t even just about getting back into Wesley’s pants.  Yes, that was part of it.  A pretty significant part, and he was still kind of irked that Wesley was acting like a big girl, not putting out until you told all your friends you loved them.  But he got it.  He really did. 

Wesley had absolutely no problems coming out to his friends, and probably his family and the whole damned town if they asked, but Lindsey did.  And because Wesley didn’t have the same social insecurities, he didn’t understand Lindsey’s; probably thought that Lindsey was ashamed of him, as a person, and didn’t want to admit to all his cool jock buddies that he was fucking the dorky foreign student with the A+ average.

But that wasn’t the case.  He really wanted to be able to go out in public with him and sit too close and hold his hand, not hide the fact that he liked a guy, because that guy was pretty fuckin’ cool.

So once he’d finally decided that that was more important than his fear or his image, that’s what he did.

 

***

 

“Angel’s having a party tonight,” Lindsey mentioned casually on Saturday morning while they were munching loudly on cereal and watching cartoons.

“Yes, I’m not surprised.  The day does end in ‘y’, doesn’t it?”

“Funny,” Lindsey said.  “No, he broke up with Cordy.  Party’s a good way to met people.  Anyway, wanna come?”

“Sure,” Wesley answered, taking a drink of his orange juice.  “Sounds like fun.”  He was really starting to like Lindsey’s friends, and it sounded like the same kind of hanging out with the gang that they’d been doing for the last two weeks, so Wesley didn’t see any reason to find any sort of significance in the offer. 

And of course, he couldn’t be expected to realise that Lindsey meant anything more by it than he did on any of the other times they’d gotten together.  Not until they got to Angel’s place, anyway.

 

***

 

When Angel opened the door to them, smiling brightly and already half in the bag, Lindsey escorted Wesley through first, hand at the small of his back and not pretending it hadn’t been there when he took Wesley’s coat from him and went to toss in on the floor in Angel’s bedroom.

It didn’t seem really all that odd, only an innocent sort of touch that Wesley was used to from Lindsey, so it went largely unnoticed.  By the two of them anyway.  Tipsy as he was, Angel was having a hard time noticing anything else.

Most of the people there had already met Wesley, at least in passing, and those that hadn’t were only introduced to ‘my roommate’, because really that’s all Wesley was, at least for immediate moment.  But when they stood together in a group of people, talking and laughing and making fun of the music, Lindsey stood much too close to Wesley to be considered accidental.

Again this sort of contact only registered in a far off place in Wesley’s periphery and he might have vaguely considered moving away from him, concerned for his image, but the nearness felt too good, and he only moved fractionally closer.  People noticed; of course they did.  But nobody said anything, most of them to drunk to care, not they really would have without the alcohol, but they might have been surprised.

At some point Wesley found himself talking with a very pretty girl named Winifred.  She called herself ‘Fred’ and it seemed a bit odd to him at first, but anybody with eyes like that deserved to be called whatever they damned well liked.  They were sitting alone on the set of about 5 steps that divided the dining room from the sunken living room, and Wesley could have happily spent the rest of the night right there.

She was on the second step to the bottom, knees tight together with her feet on the living room floor, and he was sitting on the step second to the top with legs all gangly and awkward, stretching out over the entire set of stairs as his feet sat next to hers on the ground.

“…And he didn’t even know what I meant by ‘quantum tunnelling’, even though I tried to explain it to him like, a bagillion times, and so he just thought the joke was stupid.”

He was trying to pay attention to her, really he was, but even though he was registering nothing but her voice, sweet and beautiful though it was, he couldn’t for the life of him understand a word she was saying. 

It wasn’t the science; he got that.  Just… she was incredible, and all he could possibly wrap his head around was the desire to reach out and run his fingers across her bare thigh that the miniskirt she was wearing was doing nothing to hide.  And then maybe after they’d gotten down and dirty on the staircase he’d want to hear all about Heisenbergian quantum mechanics.  Not that he wasn’t well aware of it himself, but it would be nice to hear it in her voice.

“Yes,” he answered, indulging her somewhat.  “What a complete buffoon.”  Not that he was that much better; he could totally see why the other guy hadn’t been paying much attention.

“Yeah,” she said to him, half irritated that Jonathon hadn’t had a clue what she was talking about, but half hopeful that Wesley would get it, and not look at her like a freak, because he was so cute!  “But, you know, I’m sure you’re smart enough to get it.”

Wesley almost yelled out and jumped back as she moved one of her legs slightly to bring their calves into contact.  Fuck!  He thought she was attractive, sure, wanted to have sex with her, in that abstract way of course, wanted to marry her and wanted to see her have his babies a little more than he’d like to say after less than half an hour of acquaintance, but he just could not go there.

He was here with Lindsey.  He wanted to be here with Lindsey.  He wanted… Lindsey.  But the girl continued to rub her leg against his, continued to smile at him seductively, continued to bat her eyelashes and speak in that same sexy southern drawl that Lindsey had and he was pretty sure he was about to ruin everything by taking advantage of what she was clearly offering.

He sat up a bit straighter and she pressed her leg more firmly against his.  He leaned forward a tiny bit, elbows on the landing behind him serving to help push closer to her and she smiled and let one of her hands drift down to land on his knee. 

He pushed himself even further forward, arms coming up completely from the stairs behind him, and Fred leaned a bit further forward herself, and Wesley almost held his breath, unable to believe he was about to do what he was about to do, but almost powerless to stop himself… when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, heart catching in his throat, as he turned around to see Lindsey looking at him from behind.

He looked up at him, expression that of a dear caught in headlights, but Lindsey didn’t seem to notice.  Didn’t seem to notice how close he was sitting with Fred, or how much the two of them seemed to be touching, or how guilty Wesley looked and how irritated at the interruption Fred looked.

Lindsey sat down on the landing behind Wesley, legs on either side of him, moving slightly in and out, and touching the outside of Wesley’s legs with each cycle.  Not that either of them minded.

“Fred,” he nodded at her pleasantly, and reached across Wesley to take her hand in his, kissing the back of it and offering her a wink.  She giggled and took her hand back, but left her leg where it was, against the inside of Wesley’s.  “Always a pleasure.”

“Keepin’ my roommate warm for me?” he asked as his one of his legs made more than incidental contact with Wesley’s and he placed a hand on Wesley’s arm in a soft touch that lasted just long enough that Fred couldn’t have mistaken it for something innocent.

Her eyes grew wide as she backed her leg up, and placed her feet firmly together and underneath her, where they were in no danger of getting too close to anyone.  Why were all the hot ones gay? she wondered, as she looked at them again and despite herself, grinned at the cuteness of the couple they made.

“No!” She protested.  She didn’t want Lindsey to think she had been hording in on his territory… even she had been.  But she didn’t know the hot new guy was Lindsey’s!  It wasn’t her fault.  “No, I only…  We were just talkin’.”  Okay, that was conceivable.  Talking with the underlying notion of having sex… but so far just talking.

“Course you were, darlin’,” Lindsey told her, knowing full well that she was hoping it would have turned into more than that.

“Right,” she said, standing up and looking around.  “So, my friend over there needs some help, or else she’s going to make a huge mistake.”  It was really very convenient that she had caught Willow making out with Warren or she wouldn’t have had any real excuse to dismiss herself.

“Wes,” she said with a coy smile and a look of longing.  Sure, she couldn’t have him, but that didn’t stop her from wanting him.

“Fred,” he said, with a goofy smile of his own, but completely content with Lindsey at his back.

“You know what she thought, don’t you?” Wesley asked once she’d nodded at them both and worked her way through the crowd to Willow.

“That she could seduce you?” Lindsey offered, backing off a little and turning around so that he was leaning up against the wall next to Wesley, the two no longer touching.  He smiled into his bottle of beer as he continued.  “I can’t really blame her for wanting to, but I had to interrupt.  Didn’t want you getting two getting too cozy.”

The sexy tone that Lindsey was speaking in was almost too much for Wesley, but he shook his head and elbowed Lindsey lightly in the ribs.  “No, you moron.  Not that… well, yes.  Okay, she was hitting on me.”  He couldn’t deny that he was reciprocating, but Lindsey hadn’t asked about that.  Besides, he knew it wouldn’t have gone anywhere anyway.

“But when you got here, the way you behaved, the way she looked at us… she could see what was going on.  She could see that… well…”  He didn’t quite know how to end that statement.

“She could see I wanted you, and I was marking my territory?”

Wesley was thrown by the bluntness of Lindsey’s admission, but couldn’t deny the truth of it.  “Yes… That doesn’t bother you?”

”Of course it bothers me, Wes,” Lindsey told him, taking a drink of his beer and nodding to a friend of his who’d waved at him from across the room. 

“Facing up to our relationship bothers me, because I’m worried about how everyone will react, but it doesn’t bother me enough to let somebody else have you, just to keep my secret.  Besides, it was just Fred.  She won’t say anything.  Not unless I want her to.”  Lindsey realised that was kind of a backhanded admission, but it was the truth.  He was going to try to put his fear second to his desire, even if he wasn’t very good at it, and he hoped that Wesley appreciated that.  He knew he deserved it.

“Lindsey,” Wesley told him seriously, heart breaking a little that the other man might think that Wesley sleeping around was the penalty for not being honest about them.  “That’s not going to happen.  Not anytime soon anyway.  You’re the only one I want.  I thought you knew that.”

Lindsey looked back at him with a smile in his eyes, even if it wasn’t on his lips, as he reached over and placed his hand palm down on Wesley’s knee.  “Let’s go mingle,” he said, and they got up to do just that.

 

***

 

After a little while of making their way through the crowd, socialising and meeting new people, Wesley and Lindsey found themselves separated once again.  Lindsey was called into Angel’s bedroom to check out the new Halo II download, and Wesley was left wandering around on his own.

Lindsey had only been gone for a minute, Wesley had only had the chance to take a few sips of his beer and had barely even started to try to talk himself out of offering his body to Lindsey when they got home later.   Even if things weren’t as public as he’d like yet, Lindsey was trying, he could see that, and he wanted to meet him halfway, and he had only just started that thought when his gaze landed on a familiar stark blond head.  It couldn’t be Spike, could it?  What the hell would he be doing there?

He narrowed his eyes at the head trying to get better focus on the lonely figure in the corner and started across the room to get closer.  The other man wasn’t looking back at him, was staring out onto the balcony and the lack of people standing on it due to the chill air, but when he was only a few feet away he smiled as he recognised that it was indeed Spike.

He nudged him in the back of the ribs, not as gently as he probably should have, to get his attention, and smiled even wider when he jumped in surprise and turned around to look at him.

“What the bloody hell, Wes?  That hurt!”  Spike rubbed the spot that Wesley had poked irritably, but couldn’t help softening his expression as he brought his eyes back up to Wesley’s, and offered him a coy look.

“Nice to see you too, Spike,” he said sardonically, and held up his bottle.  Spike followed suit and touched the neck of his bottle to Wesley’s and they both took a drink.  “I didn’t really expect to see you here.  Didn’t even a little bit expect to see you here.  It’s not exactly your kind of thing, is it?”

“All the socializing with retarded jocks and fending off drunk little girls to the musical accompaniment of whatever the hell kind of Brittany spin-off is playing on the radio?”  Spike rolled his eyes and took another drink.  “No, it’s not really.  But, free booze.  And somebody asked me, so I figured I’d give it a chance.”

“What?  Really?” Wesley questioned, unable to hide his surprise.  He didn’t think that Spike and Angel knew any of the same people.  Then it dawned on him what Spike had probably meant, and he looked around wildly.  “Somebody asked you here, like asked you asked you?”

“Well don’t sound so shocked, Wes,” Spike said, offended by his reaction.  “You seemed to think I was good enough at some point.”

“That’s not what I meant, Spike,” he said.  “I’m well aware of your ability attract anyone you happen to fancy.  I’m living proof of that,” he offered with a knowing smile, and Spike couldn’t help but return it.

“So, who is it?” he asked and grinned madly when Spike’s eyes darted across the room, unintentionally giving away his date.  Shit!  It wasn’t…

“Doyle?” he asked, unable to keep the incredulity out of his voice.  “You’re here with Doyle?”  Apparently he was, because when Spike’s eyes locked on him he paused in his conversation with a group of people that might or might not have been his friends long enough to offer Spike a wink and a definitively lascivious smile before they both looked away.

“You got a problem with that, Wes?” Spike asked, defensive.

“No, of course not.”  And it was mostly true.  He kind of thought Spike and Doyle would make a cute couple, but he couldn’t deny that he was jealous.  The idea of Spike with someone else made his teeth itch.  Especially someone that he was likely to have a close social contact with, and Doyle being one of Angel’s good friends, it was likely.

“That’s terrific Spike,” he said somewhat unconvincingly, but then shook his head once and tried again.  “I really mean that.  Doyle is a great guy.  And I’m sure he’ll make you happy.”  Sure, Wesley thought that he’d probably make Spike happier, but brining that up wouldn’t do anyone any good.

 “Yeah, well,” Spike said, looking down at his drink and wishing it was a cigarette.  “It really isn’t anything yet, but we’ll see.”  He didn’t want Wesley gushing over his new relationship when he wasn’t even sure he had one yet.  Like he said, it was new.  He was hoping, but he wasn’t counting any chickens.

That wink Doyle had just given was enough to melt him, his nether regions at the very least, and he really did kind of like him, but they hadn’t gotten to know each other very much and Spike wasn’t yet invested enough not to still have the desire to haul Wesley off to the nearest private space and screw like there was no tomorrow.

And judging by the look on Wesley’s face as Spike ran an appraising eye up and down his body as he contemplated where exactly would be the most opportune place to strip him down, Wesley wasn’t exactly adverse to the idea. 

Wesley blushed and dropped his beer holding hand casually down to hide the evidence of his excitement at Spike’s appraisal.  “Spike, no,” he said, with a knowing look a hand on Spike’s arm.  Even if he did want to take him up on the unspoken offer, and boy did a part of him ever, he knew that he never would.  Wow, he was really a hit at this party.

 “Can’t blame a bloke for tryin’,” Spike said with a wink, even though he had no more intention of following through on the flirting than Wes did.

Wesley took a step closer to Spike, close enough to allow his hand to trail across Spike’s cheek without much effort, and he had a hard time remembering why they’d ended things.  “No, I don’t suppose you can.”

“Yeah, well,” Spike said again after a beat.  “I think I’d better go see to my date before that Andrew bloke makes a move.”  They both knew it was an excuse; Andrew couldn’t possibly tempt a fly away from Spike even if he was covered in honey, but the line worked for both of them.

“Yes, that Andrew seems quite the catch,” Wesley told him, but couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped him.  “You’d better watch out.”

Spike chuckled and ducked his eyes down as he tried to move past Wesley, saying, “Nice chattin’, pet.  See you soon, no doubt,” but he was stopped by Wesley’s hand on his arm again.

“Spike, I…” Wesley started, but when Spike did stop and raised his head to look at him he wasn’t sure how to continue.  Why had he even stopped him, anyway?  They were both moving on and it was good that they were, and it was even better that they were almost forced into being friends, given their current choice of lovers, because as much as Wesley wanted it, he wasn’t sure they were going to accomplish it on their own.

So he should have just let Spike go and looked forward to seeing him again, perhaps on the next bowling night, when things were quieter and he and Lindsey could be closer and Spike and Doyle could share googly eyes over red bowling balls, and he and Spike had no choice but to be just friends. 

He should have, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and kissing him.  He wasn’t surprised when Spike responded, eagerly and enthusiastically, opening his mouth just a little and letting their tongues play together between their lips, but not enter each others mouths.

They were still hidden in the corner, in the dark, so it wasn’t as if anyone was likely to see them, and it was an unpleasant feeling that it mattered now that this was a secret when just two weeks ago they couldn’t have cared less about anyone seeing them.

And just as Wesley wasn’t surprised by Spike’s enthusiasm, he was equally unsurprised that he groaned and grabbed Wesley hard by the shoulders and with a final violent press of his lips on Wesley’s pulled back.  Panting, he wiped the corner of his mouth on his sleeve, not that it needed it, and shook his head.

“Wes,” Spike said by way of warning as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.  “You know we can’t…”

“I know,” Wesley interrupted.  “I wasn’t trying to.  I was just trying to say goodbye.”

Spike smiled at him sadly and tilted his head.  “I though we did that already.”

“Yes,” Wesley told him, fingers finding Spike’s at his side.  “But I wasn’t ready then.”

Spike hurt a bit to know that Wesley was ready now, even if Spike probably was too, but he nodded at Wesley, not losing his resigned yet accepting look.  “We’ll be okay, Wes,” he said, almost believing it.

“Yes we will,” Wesley answered, feeling exactly the same as Spike but not wanting to say it out loud.  “Goodbye Spike.”

“Bye Wes,” he said and made his way over to Doyle, who apparently hadn’t noticed his liplock with Wesley in the corner. 

Wesley watched as they smiled at each other and ran their hands over each other’s backs and shared a very small and chaste kiss before they separated a little and dropped their hands to loop their forefingers around each other’s.  Doyle didn’t seem to lose a second of conversation and promptly introduced Spike to the group, who raised his head awkwardly and nodded to everyone, giving Andrew an especially understanding smile, considering he had been trying to hit on his new man.

He was still staring at the group, at the couple, who knows how long later, when he felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped, turning to see Lindsey standing behind him. 

“Lindsey!” he said, pressing his hand to his chest.  “You scared the shit out of me!”  That was twice tonight.

“Sorry,” Lindsey told him playfully and dropping his hand.  “But you gotta admit you’re pretty jumpy, Wes.  Feeling guilty about anything?  Like, Oh, I don’t know… macking on the ex?”

Uh oh.  Wesley froze, mouth in a grim line as he tried to think of a plausible excuse for what Lindsey had seen.  He settled on the truth.  “Yes, actually, I am feeling slightly guilty about that.  But it really wasn’t anything, and I’m very sorry that you saw it.”

“Looked like something to me,” Lindsey countered, but he really wasn’t as angry as he would have thought. 

“Lindsey,” Wesley said, eyes begging the other man to understand.  “It really wasn’t.”

“It looked like two people finally letting go."

“Oh,” Wesley said with a frown.  “Well, okay maybe it was something then.”

“Relax Wes,” Lindsey told him and offered a warm smile.  “I’m not upset.  Not much, anyway.  Besides,” he continued, nodding toward Spike and Doyle.  “Looks like blondie’s moved on.  And I really hate to say it, but I think he’ll be good for Doyle.  Better than Lorne, anyway.”

Wesley followed his gaze, eyes going soft as he saw Spike and Doyle wander off to sit alone at the end of Angel’s horribly disgusting couch.  “I think you’re right.”

 

***

 

About and hour later, after Lindsey had kicked Graham’s ass at Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater and Wesley had gotten tired of listening to Andrew and Warren and Jonathon argue over who was the better Bond, they decided to brave the chill and get some air.  Wesley cringed as he tried to block out Andrew screaming something about Sean Connery being beaten with an Oscar as they grabbed their jackets and made their way outside.

They stood next to each other against the railing, arms propped up and looking down at the ravine behind the building.  They weren’t too close that anyone would notice that their elbows were touching unless they were really looking for it, but they weren’t far enough away from each other that people wouldn’t wonder about two men standing together, alone, and taking in the scenery.

It was a long time before either of them spoke and until then they were content just to enjoy each other and the relative quite of empty balcony.  When they did start talking it wasn’t about anything important; it was just small talk, and it was nice.

Lindsey didn’t wait for a lull in the conversation and right in the middle of Wesley telling him a story about the time Charles had gotten drunk and managed to lock himself out of his frat house, naked, and had wandered around in the buff all night, rather than knock and ask somebody let him in, when Lindsey reached his hand out and grabbed Wesley’s, tangling their fingers together and letting them fall to the small space between them.

Wesley stopped in the middle of his sentence and turned to face Lindsey.  “You’re not worried somebody will see?” he asked, giving Lindsey’s hand a squeeze to indicate what he was talking about, and darting his eyes quickly to the balcony door, to check if anyone was indeed in position to watch them.  Nobody was; at least not at the moment, but that could very easily change.

“Kinda,” Lindsey answered with a shrug.

Wesley started to smile, small at first, and shy, blushing bright red as he lowered his face to look at their joined hands.  The smile grew and Wesley couldn’t hide it, didn’t want to, and he turned his head back up to look at Lindsey.  “Thank you,” he told him, wishing he could pull Lindsey closer, kiss him, but he knew that would be too much, too soon.

“Yeah,” Lindsey said, somewhat uncomfortably.  “Look, I’m not gonna make an announcement or anything.  But I’m gonna try not to hide.”

Wesley could live with that.  Wesley was ecstatic about that, really.  It wasn’t as if he really wanted to make a public spectacle out of them, but this, standing together, talking, holding hands, these were things that he wanted to be able to do. 

 He knew Lindsey still wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea, but he was trying, and Wesley was pretty sure that he’d get there, they’d get there, eventually. 

“Thank you,” he said again, more seriously. 

Before either of them could speak again they heard the sound of the balcony door open and Wesley pulled his hand back from Lindsey’s, starting a little and feeling kind of silly, but not turning around to see who it was, hoping they hadn’t noticed anything. 

Lindsey looked over Wesley’s shoulder to see Angel standing in the doorway smile dropping from his face when he saw how close he was standing to Wes, obviously noticing that something was going on.  But Lindsey only kept on looking Angel, grabbed again for Wesley’s hand, held it in his and looked at Angel some more.

It was a pretty brave move, but brave was the last thing he was feeling.  His heart was racing and he was starting to sweat, despite the cold, because he was worried that Angel wouldn’t accept it, wouldn’t accept him, now that he knew for sure.  The other guys mattered, but not like Angel did and his opinion meant the world to Lindsey.

Angel’s face wasn’t harsh or judging, but it wasn’t happy or accepting either, and Lindsey was having a hard time reading him.  Lindsey hardened his own features, hand unconsciously tightening its grip on Wesley’s and the other man winced slightly at the pain.  Lindsey exhaled sharply and loosened his grip, but didn’t let go, and he kept on looking at Angel.

After almost a minute that felt more like an eternity Angel gave Lindsey the barest ghost of a smile that Lindsey almost thought he had imagined, and a single nod, then went back into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

“That was Angel, wasn’t it?”  Wesley asked when he heard the snick of the door shutting and felt Lindsey relax his hand.

“Yeah,” Lindsey said, unable to come up with anything else; he was still a bit shaken.  The events of the past minute had been a really big deal for him.

“Are you alright?” Wesley asked, giving his hand a final squeeze and pulling his own back.

“I think so.”

 

***

 

They left the party shortly after that, and Angel was a little less than smooth with his goodbyes, but at least he was still talking to him and Lindsey was thankful for that.

They walked home side by side, not touching, not talking.  Wesley wanted to give Lindsey some time, if he needed it, to deal with what had happened that night, and though Lindsey was still a bit freaked out he really did want to touch Wes.  Wanted to so badly that he didn’t think he’d be able to stop if he started, so he wanted to wait until they were alone, in their room.

As soon as the door closed behind them Lindsey turned toward Wesley, pushing up against him and covering his mouth hard with his own. 

“It’s been way too long, Wes,” he told him between kisses and his arms trailed down Wesley’s body to grab two handfuls of Wesley’s ass.  “Way too fuckin’ long.”

“Agreed,” Wesley told him, answering the kisses with his own and using the element of surprise to switch their positions and push Lindsey forcefully against the door, pushing himself close to him and attacking his neck with his tongue and teeth. 

“I know this has been a huge day for us.”  He kissed and bit, making Lindsey jump, push forward into him.  “And I’m pretty sure we should be talking about our feelings and making sweet love by candlelight.”  He ran his tongue along Lindsey’s neck, causing him to shiver, and Wesley almost growled with lust.  “But can we do that later?  This doesn’t have to be sweet, does it?”

“Not for me it doesn’t,” Lindsey answered, pushing Wesley back enough so that he could take off his jacket and yank his t-shirt off over his head, watching as Wesley did the same.  It really didn’t usually need to be sweet for Lindsey, but while he couldn’t deny that he was feeling a bit more open than he usually was at the moment, he was way too worked up from going two weeks so close to Wesley and not being able to fuck.

Wesley descended on him again, mouths meeting to clash and bite, tongues tangling passionately as they ground their rapidly hardening cocks together through their jeans.  Wesley waited until he was in danger of shooting his load in his pants before he pulled back, and when Lindsey made to follow Wesley shoved him back, both of them jarring from the force.

“Stay there.  Don’t move,” Wesley commanded, and he sunk to his knees, opening Lindsey’s pants as he went and sliding them down his legs, stripping him bare and helping him step out of his clothes. 

Once the offending garments were out of the way Wesley didn’t waste any time grabbing Lindsey by the thighs and opening his mouth over Lindsey’s impressive erection, swallowing him to the root in one swift motion.  He hadn’t had a lot of practice at this, but he’d done it to Spike a couple of times, and the cry of pleasure and sudden tensing of Lindsey’s body were more than enough to make up for the slight burn in his throat and the tearing in his eyes as he started to suck and swallow around the head.

Lindsey tasted incredible, felt incredible, made the most incredible noises and his body shook with the most incredible spasms as Wesley gently worked his teeth over the hard shaft and ran the tip of his tongue over the slit.  Wesley was pretty sure that on another day, when they weren’t both so desperate for immediate action that he’d be able to spend hours on his knees, worshipping Lindsey’s cock and coaxing out more and more of those amazing reactions.

But neither of them had the patience for that at the moment, and Wesley’s desire for more took over and he abruptly pulled back and stood in front of Lindsey.  Lindsey made a groan of protest and reached out to grab Wesley, to put him back where he’d been because Lindsey was getting pretty damned close to release, but Wesley grabbed his hand, forced it back down to his side and said, “I’m pretty sure I told you not to move, Lindsey.”

Lindsey kept his arms where they were, palms down against the door and pushed his hips forward uselessly, overcome with lust and happy to do anything Wesley asked if it meant they would get the hell on with things.  He watched Wesley strip out of his pants and stand before him, naked, and pump his thick cock a few times in his fist, eyes closing and moaning slightly at the feel. 

“Wes,” Lindsey groaned piteously, and Wesley opened his eyes and stopped his hand moving, looking at Lindsey hard and hoping that he didn’t need to remind him to stay put again.  He backed up a couple of slow steps as he watched Lindsey watch him, then turned and headed for his nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing the lube.

He made his way back to Lindsey, slicking himself up as he went, and when he reached the other man their bodies smashed together, rubbing and writhing as they kissed, and Wesley worked his hands underneath Lindsey’s backside, lifting a little and Lindsey helped out by spreading his legs, wrapping them around Wesley’s waist.

Lindsey was heavy, but not that heavy, and Wesley thought he just looked so irresistibly fuckable up against the wall that he just had to fuck him there.  He stopped kissing Lindsey’s mouth, let his lips trail haphazardly over his collarbone and chest as he moved his aching prick along Lindsey’s crack and Lindsey wriggled a little, adding even more delicious friction.

Finally Wesley couldn’t stand the tease anymore and he canted his hips back enough to get a good angle and pushed forward, tip of his prick barely breaching Lindsey’s hole when the other man stopped him by saying in a near breathless whisper, “no rubber?”

Wesley shook his head.  “I want to feel you.”  He had been careful with Spike, and he hoped that Lindsey had with Harmony, and neither of them was sexual with anyone else anymore, so he figured it was safe enough.

Lindsey answered by pushing down as far as he could, impaling himself just a little bit more on Wesley.  He was more than okay with it; wanted nothing more than to feel Wes inside him, and later on slide into Wesley, with nothing at all between them.

As soon as Wesley felt Lindsey start to take him in, he returned the action, embedding himself fully inside and the feeling was almos toverwhelming for them both.  He didn’t give either of them time to adjust to the sensation, just started thrusting up into him, hard and fast as Lindsey’s arms came to rest on his shoulders and he gritted his teeth against the slight burn and gasped at the pleasure.

They continued at a rapid pace, each desperate to reach orgasm and even if they hadn’t been they would have been powerless to prevent the swift arrival of completion, but as Lindsey felt his own nearing he dug his fingers into Wesley’s skin to get his attention.  Wesley registered the touch, slowed the steady jerk of his hips and took his mouth from Lindsey’s right nipple to look up at him questioningly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.  “I’m not hurting you, am I?”  He wanted Lindsey to feel it, but he didn’t want to cause any damage. 

“No.  No it’s not that,” he assured.  “Fuck, it’s not that.  Feels so damned good.”  He clenched his ass tight around Wesley to emphasise how good it felt, and Wesley drew in a sharp breath through his teeth, trying to resist the urge to push harder and faster.

“It’s just,” Lindsey started, and stopped himself, because he really didn’t want to be thinking what he was thinking.  He wanted to lean back against the cold wood and get fucked good and hard and lose himself in the pleasure of being with someone, of being with Wesley.  But apparently taking a cock up his ass a few times brought out the girl in him, because he was suddenly feeling insecure.

He’d made a huge gesture for Wesley, risked ruining his relationship with Angel, his entire social standing, and Wesley had been grateful, sure, but he hadn’t actually said that anything had changed.  And again, sure, Wesley was pounding him into the wall, and that was a change, but he’d caught him making out with Spike and well on his way to that with Fred.  Wesley hadn’t yet told him that he wouldn’t be doing anything like that anymore, and he hated himself for needing to hear it.

Wesley managed, through sheer force of will, to dredge up enough self control to stop moving entirely inside Lindsey, and braced his lover against his bent knee as he removed one hand from underneath him and brought it up to cup his face.  “Lindsey, what is it?”  Obviously something was bothering him, and Wesley would do whatever it took to put a stop to it. 

He might as well just say it.  Either that of forget about it, because he was still just as turned on as he’d been a minute ago and he really needed to get off.  “You’re mine now, right?” he asked, looking directly into Wesley’s eyes, wanting to see for himself Wesley’s true reactions.

“Now that I’m not gonna hide you, hide us.  You’re not gonna be with anyone else?”  He bit his lip waiting for Wesley to reply, and tried not to move, really not needing Wesley’s cock to pump his prostate again and send him over the edge.  Not until he got his answer anyway.

Wesley smiled and leaned forward to kiss Lindsey, soft and sweet and tried to convey all of his emotions and desire in that one short bit of contact.  He wasn’t ready to say ‘I love you’ yet, and might be a long time before he was, but the kiss said everything but, and said it much better than words could have.

“Lindsey,” he said, voice dripping with emotion as he finally pulled back and they looked into each other’s eyes.  “I always have been yours.  Since that first time, and probably even before that.”  He kissed Lindsey again, started moving his hips again, slowly, and continued talking.

“I’ve wanted your body since shortly after we met, and yes, it did freak me out at first.”  Kiss, thrust, groan.  “But that desire grew, and when you finally let me have you, I knew then that you were the only one for me.  Then I wanted your heart.”  Groan, thrust, kiss.  “But when you made it clear that wasn’t a possibility I tried to move on.  The attempt was a miserable failure, as you can probably gather, and I couldn’t be happier.”

Wesley was catching his sweet spot with each thrust and Lindsey was so close he didn’t think he could hold back any longer.  He’d gotten a very satisfactory answer to his embarrassing question, and his heart was swelling almost as much as his cock when his balls started to draw up and his entire body started to clench.

“God, Lindsey, I’m all yours.  Only yours.  Only want you,” Wesley babbled as he felt Lindsey’s arse muscles squeeze his dick, and the words were enough to send Lindsey over the edge without even so much a touch to his leaking erection.

Wesley relished the clench of Lindsey around him and was completely awestruck by the sight of his prick shooting out thick, white jets of sperm, completely unaided by anything but him being inside Lindsey, and he couldn’t hold back his own orgasm as Lindsey’s warm cum landed on both of their naked stomachs, and they both cried out in ecstasy.

They weren’t able to support their own weight for five seconds before they collapsed in an ungainly heap on the floor, and as Lindsey’s head bumped into the wood, causing a loud CRACK to echo through the room they heard the person in the next room pounding on the wall and yelling for them to ‘keep it down’.

They couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up at that, and they figured that their neighbour thought that one of them was probably back there with a girl, but even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter all that much

“Come on,” Wesley said, finally regaining some control over his limbs and starting to stand, offering Lindsey a hand to help him out.  Lindsey took it and they both managed to make it upright on wobbly legs.  “Let’s go to bed.”

 

Lindsey looked at him, question in his expression, and they both knew that he was wondering exactly what kind of plan Wesley had for sleeping that night.

“It’s up to you, but I prefer my bed.  I change the sheets more than once every six months.”  Wesley was hoping that Lindsey would want to stay with him that night, but he wasn’t certain, and turning it into a joke seemed the easier way.

“Do you want me to join you tonight?” Lindsey asked, cutting through all the bullshit.  “No more fucking around, right?  Complete honesty?”

Wesley shook his head at his own stupidity and smiled, happy that at least Lindsey had the nerve to be upfront about things.  “Yes, Lindsey, I do.  As a matter of fact, I think that we should push the beds together, give us more space for… well, you know.”  He blushed slightly at that and Lindsey chuckled and wrapped his arms around Wesley’s waist, kissed him.

“But not tonight,” he said when they broke free and stumbled over to Wesley’s bed.  “I’m much too exhausted for any heavy lifting.”

“Really?” Lindsey asked as he kissed Wesley yet again and pushed him down on his bed.  “Not too exhausted, I hope, because after a few minutes I think I’m gonna be ready for another round.”

“You’re incorrigible!” Wesley told him, laughing, and they rolled each other over on the small bed, touching and kissing playfully and finally settled next to each other, Wesley half draped over Lindsey, head resting on Lindsey’s chest.

They lay together completely content for long minutes, fingers idly stroking over sex-warmed flesh, and after an appropriate recovery period and their cocks started to stir again Wesley pushed himself up enough to grab his stereo remote and hit ‘radio’.

As the thumping tones of Barry White resonated through the room they both laughed again and Lindsey manoeuvred himself over Wesley and scooped up some of their old combined spend from his stomach, rubbing it over his re-hardened prick, positioning himself at Wesley’s hole.

Wesley grinned up at him like a fool, pulled his knees higher with his arms to give Lindsey better access and couldn’t help the snort that escaped him as Lindsey pushed inside as he sang, “can’t get enough of your love, babe,” along with Barry.

“I’m not that bad, am I?” Lindsey asked, pushing harder inside Wes, angling so that he hit that spot that would make Wesley too incoherent to answer properly.

“Fuck,” Wesley panted.  “Good.  All very good.”

“Even the singing?” Lindsey asked as he pulled his thrusts, pushing only a very small way inside Wes.

Wesley pushed back against him, trying to imbed him further, and said, “Lindsey, I love your voice.  It’s almost as good as… Fuck!  Yes, that!”  Lindsey had shoved his cock in deeper, harder, catching Wesley’s prostate and Wesley had trouble finishing his thought.

Lindsey kept on hammering into him, bringing them both to the brink in near record time considering they had just fucked not half an hour ago, but Wesley grabbed him by the hips, stopping his movements.

“What now?” Lindsey asked, annoyed and concerned at the same time.  “Don’t tell me you need me to declare my undying love before I cum in your ass.”  He was embarrassed because he’d pretty much demanded that of Wes a little while ago, and he wasn’t all that different from Wesley; if something hurt, or freaked you out, make a joke.

Wesley reached a hand up to brush it over the back of Lindsey’s head and neck.  “I don’t need you to tell me what I already know, Lindsey,” he said, with unprecedented false bravado.  “But slow down.  We’ve got all night, and I’m suddenly in the mood for slow and sweet.”

And as Lindsey looked down into Wesley’s eyes, saw the same sort of hopeful devotion that he knew he was projecting reflected back at him, he was suddenly in the mood for the same thing.

So that’s what they did.

They both wanted this to work, and it might not be easy, but then again it might, and they were willing to give it a try.

 

END