RockStarPeach

Honestly, this is not an 'in defence of Dean' post. At least, I don't think it is. It just I'm seeing a lot of Samgirls sound off about what's going on, so...



I mean, Dean obviously couldn't let Sam die, or we wouldn't have a show, but I don't think what he did was right.

And I've heard some people mention that they don't think Sam's pissed off enough about it all. Maybe he's not, I don't know. I don't know what Sam is or isn't or should or shouldn't be feeling. He's been through some horrible fuckin' shit. He's been through a lot of horrible fuckin' shit in his lifetime, a lot of it as a direct result of Dean's actions. And most of those things, most of those decisions that Dean made without asking Sam about - they weren't right.

The thing is, though? Dean thinks they are.

He legitimately thinks he's made the right choice, so long as in the end, Sam is okay. The first and most important lesson Dean has ever learned in his life is 'family comes first'. Dean will do anything it takes, no matter the cost, to protect his family. And now Sam's the only family he has left, he'll do some epically wrong shit to protect his family. Because he's so damaged he truly thinks that's the right thing to do.

Dean's... not a stable guy. He used to be fairly well adjusted when the show started out, but (unsurprisingly, given what he's been through over the years) his grip on reality, right from wrong, basic human functionality - is slipping. All he knows, is that he has to protect his family, Sam, and evil has to die.

I'd like to see some more of Sam's perspective on what he's going through, but a mean-spirited heart to heart at the end of every episode is not a good way to do that.

Yelling, being deliberately hurtful (even is Sam is downplaying the horror he's been through) probably isn't going to get Sam's message across. Granted, he probably doesn't care too much about Dean's headspace at the moment. Not that I blame him, he's got his own shit (shit that's entirely Dean's fault) to deal with. But if he really does want Dean to understand that what he did was wrong, telling him that family is meaningless is not the way to do that.

I feel like Dean is just a few small steps away from becoming a full-blown psychopath. We've seen snippets of it, over the years (and it's hella hot!) and it just might be that taking away Dean's driving force - the only thing he's ever been absolutely sure of, ever... That's gonna push him over the edge.

I always used to think that Dean loved Sam more than Sam loved Dean. Now I think it's more Dean's obsessed with Sam. He's always had 'protect Sammy' in his head, but as time goes by and other things/people/purposes drop out of his life 'protect Sammy' is all he's got left and he's laser focused on that, to the detriment of absolutely everything else.

Whenever he talks about being together, hunting, saving each other - his reason is always 'we're family'. That's it. Not 'I love you', not 'I like hanging out with you' not 'you have nice legs' or 'you're an alright dude'... It's always 'we're family'. Like that's all that matters. I'm not even sure Dean understands what love is anymore, but he does understand the need to protect what's his.

If family doesn't mean anything, if family doesn't come first then there's nothing for Dean to hang on to. He's free to do whatever the hell he wants, not what he feels like he should do. And I love Dean, I'd really like for him to be a good person, but wouldn't it be kind of awesome if he just went completely off the rails?

Wouldn't a psycho!Dean story arc be seriously fuckin' cool?

I mean, I'd cry, because I'm having a hard enough time liking Dean these days, but it would be cool.

For sure, Sam is a lot more balanced than Dean is. He's more in touch with reality, he's able to take a step back and weigh what he wants against what's 'right' and come to a decision that's closer to what most people would think should be done. That wasn't always the case (as we learned in S4, after Sam lost Dean to Hell), but I think over the years since then, Sam's learned form his mistakes. He's gotten less crazy, Dean's gotten more crazy, to the point where they're so far apart now that they don't see the world in the same way. No wonder they're having such a hard time getting along.

Ugh. This show is so exhausting, these days. Why can't we all just get along?! Why can't Dean and Sam wuv each other again?

I suppose that's all. I don't even know what the point of all this was...